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*Swans into quiet room.*


*Smiles warmly at Mr Keef.*


*Fishes his opera glasses out of enormous handbag and passes them over.*


*Observes outragous behaviour of mud wrestling protestants.*


*Tuts to self.*


Cracks open bottle of Krug, and pulls Mr Keefs special chair up close to window beside own chair. Turns on radio 4...

*Pokes head in the door, eyes scan the room for a certain virago*

*Cool, it's quietened down, sends the cleaners home with a big tip*

*Pours self a very strong coffee, lights a Marlboro Red*

*Lies down on large sofa to ease the aching bones*

*Pulls out copy of the Indy, breathes sigh of relief*

*Peace & quiet at last*

*Walks purposefully into the quiet room feeling proud of self (whats new?) but today in the manner of Eliot Ness...*


Thinks to self; "Dulwich is now a safer place."


*Opens bottle of Champagne.*


*Looks around for chums to share a drink.*


*Puts video of "The untouchables" in machine, slips off shoes - admires pedicure and settles down to watch film feeling smug.*

*Opens large fan, obscures facial features and enormous glass of wine*


*Flounces over to harpsichord, begins to play self pened piece*


*Runs long fingered (lace gloved) hand through ringlets*


Thinks to self - this underwear is a tad restrictive but makes my clevage look fab!...


Smiles while thinking of Mr Ray Winstone...

Tries in vein to put out flames on musical instrument but is driven back by the heat.


Cries "Help, help!" in the manner of Penelope Pitstop.


Wonders how Mr Keef can be so cruel?


*Considers piano-forte replacement whilest holding back of hand against brow...*


*Faints due to restrictions on breathing caused by enormous corset.&


*Hits the ground with the tiniest of thuds as is very small and ladylike (and yet incredibly glamorous for a married lady...*

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  • Latest Discussions

    • But all those examples sell a wide variety of things,  and mostly they are well spread out along Lordship Lane. These two shops both sell one very specific thing, albeit in different flavours, and are just across the road from each other. I don't think you can compare the distribution of shops in Roman times to the distribution of shops in Lordship Lane in the twenty first century. Well, you can, but it doesn't feel very appropriate. Haa anybody asked the first shop how they feel? Are they happy about the "healthy competition" ?
    • ED is included in the 17 August closure set (or just possibly 15 August, depending on which part of the page you trust more) listed at https://metro.co.uk/2025/07/25/full-list-25-poundland-stores-confirmed-close-august-23753048/. Here incidentally are some snippets from their annual reports, at https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/company/02495645/filing-history. 2022: " during the period we opened 41 stores and closed 43 loss-making/under-performing stores.  At the period-end we were trading from 821 stores in the UK, IoM and ROI. ... "We renogotiated 82 leases in the year, saving on average 45% versus the prior lease agreement..." 2023: "We also continued to improve our market footprint through sourcing better store locations, opening 53 and closing 51 stores during the year." 2024:  "The ex-Wilco stores acquired in the prior year have formed a core part of this strategy to expand our store network.  We favour quality over quantity and during the period we opened 84 stores and closed 71 loss-making/under-performing ones."
    • Ha! After I posted this, I thought of lots more examples. Screwfix and the hardware store? Mrs Robinson and Jumping Bean? Chemists, plant shops, hairdressers...  the list goes on... it's good to have healthy competition  Ooooh! Two cheese shops
    • You've got a point.  Thinking Leyland and Screwfix too but this felt different.
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