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*Staggers through door with rope over shoulder, at the end of the rope is a rather confused goat*


"DM, darling, here is your present - its a grow-your-own Angorra twin-set. You'll get the pearls for Christmas, I am waiting for the oysters to grow a little more"

*Flips open special remote accessory in the arm of chair*


*Pushes red button with perfectly manicured finger*


*Laughs quietly to self while sipping Starbucks Vente Latte (from special metal cup) as Michaels bottom is electrocuted by special cattle prod embeded in his chair*

*Stands feeling rather horrified by the smell of burning flesh*


*Pulls perplexed face as suddenly finds Michael strangely attractive*


*Turns around and heads out of the door, but catches ribbon dangling from dress in door!*


*Wrentches ribbon free and marches out of room...*

*Walks in to room and throws open windows (to reveal beautiful sunny day) to freshen the place up*

*Places big table in the centre of the room*

*Puts balloons and stremers everywhere*

*Sets up band equipment in the corner..... Sticks paper over "quiet room" sign on door*

*Hangs stunning ball gown on Japanese Screen*

*Places huge cake on the table with "Happy Birthday DM" written in icing*

*Checks the bar is fully stocked*


*Mixes 2 large Zombies (sure Jah will turn up at some stage), and sits in lazyboy waiting for party guests to rock up*

*pokes head carefully round corner*

*no bondage, no donkeys, no owls - hmmm seems safe*

*raises eyebrow as to quite why keef should be taking his ball gown off, he looks so much better in black tie*


*steps in, places large parcel on dining table whilst casting admiring glances at the dinner service laid out and the fabulous smells wafting in from the kitchen*

*places card for the wonderful DM, scented with her favourite Paris Hilton Parfum*


- I shall return when she is among us. Just off to green and blue for some specials.

*Hopes this is the right day, as sure DM mentioned birthday a couple of weeks ago, but doing this based on Facebook.... Oh well, any excuse to party*


*Ties big ribbon around the ball gown on the japanese screen so as just to make absolutely clear it is intended for the lovely DM*


*Puts on Johhny Cash style black shirt*

*Hears the sound of a cocktail shaker outside quiet room door*

*sticks head in and smells the Zombies...hmmmm*

*Grabs pint glass and asks Keef to pour away*

*Glugs down in one vast swallow*

*Slips out again in mad rush to get B'day card and gold plated house brick for the fragrant and lovely Dulwichmum*

*Slips back in again*

*Suspiciousy quiet in here even for the quiet room*

*perhaps all are hiding behind the curtains waiting for DM's arrival*

*Lays present and card on the table*

*Opens bottle of Chateau Margeaux '61 and leaves to breath*

*Slips out again into the cold night air for some smokes*

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