Quiet room...

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Staggers through door with rope over shoulder, at the end of the rope is a rather confused goat*

"DM, darling, here is your present - its a grow-your-own Angorra twin-set. You'll get the pearls for Christmas, I am waiting for the oysters to grow a little more"

[dulwichmum]

*Lifts up silky eye shades as is woken by noise of goat*

"You are too kind darling man"

*Texts Ana to come and collect goat, while thinking to self...*

"Sweet Michael, if you try any complex variations on the pearl necklace I shall summon the gendarmes!"

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Blnkin' flip Mother, I have no idea what you mean*

*Quietly slips Oyster opener into back pocket, places pineapple juice back in fridge and sits on sofa whistling tunelessly*

[Asset]

*sniggers*

*pearl necklace* *ha ha*

[Keef]

*Walks in cursing stupid term times that make you new wife have to go to work 2 days after your wedding!*

*Pours a large JD, raises glas to all around* :)-D

*Notices DM's neck line and offers a wet wipe*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Notices Keef, he seems to be muttering under-his breath, whats that? "Married 2 days ago ...... Mrs Keef driven back to work ...... forced to hard drink ....... need a wet wipe"*

*How is married life Keef :))?*

[dulwichmum]

Graciously thanks the lovely Mr Keef, whilest removing the aformentioned ... er...neck adornment...

Removes small dog from enormous handbag, points to Michael Palaeologus, says...

"Dinner is served..."

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Draws flame-thrower from behind favourite comfy seat. Points it at the potentially very-hot dog*

[dulwichmum]

*Flips open special remote accessory in the arm of chair*

*Pushes red button with perfectly manicured finger*

*Laughs quietly to self while sipping Starbucks Vente Latte (from special metal cup) as Michaels bottom is electrocuted by special cattle prod embeded in his chair*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Hair erect and smoking, clothing tattered and soot on face - still, cattle prods in the rump, I feel strangely aroused*

*Fancy a quick dip behind the Japanese screen DM?;-)*

[dulwichmum]

*Stands feeling rather horrified by the smell of burning flesh*

*Pulls perplexed face as suddenly finds Michael strangely attractive*

*Turns around and heads out of the door, but catches ribbon dangling from dress in door!*

*Wrentches ribbon free and marches out of room...*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Good God!! Grabs ribbon and limps after DM with a hopeful look*

[Keef]

*Shakes head in disbelief at the Benny Hill style comedy that the Quiet Room has become*

*Curses very sore head*

[Keef]

*Walks in to room and throws open windows (to reveal beautiful sunny day) to freshen the place up*

*Places big table in the centre of the room*

*Puts balloons and stremers everywhere*

*Sets up band equipment in the corner..... Sticks paper over "quiet room" sign on door*

*Hangs stunning ball gown on Japanese Screen*

*Places huge cake on the table with "Happy Birthday DM" written in icing*

*Checks the bar is fully stocked*

*Mixes 2 large Zombies (sure Jah will turn up at some stage), and sits in lazyboy waiting for party guests to rock up*

[mockney piers]

*pokes head carefully round corner*

*no bondage, no donkeys, no owls - hmmm seems safe*

*raises eyebrow as to quite why keef should be taking his ball gown off, he looks so much better in black tie*

*steps in, places large parcel on dining table whilst casting admiring glances at the dinner service laid out and the fabulous smells wafting in from the kitchen*

*places card for the wonderful DM, scented with her favourite Paris Hilton Parfum*

- I shall return when she is among us. Just off to green and blue for some specials.

[Keef]

*Hopes this is the right day, as sure DM mentioned birthday a couple of weeks ago, but doing this based on Facebook.... Oh well, any excuse to party*

*Ties big ribbon around the ball gown on the japanese screen so as just to make absolutely clear it is intended for the lovely DM*

*Puts on Johhny Cash style black shirt*

[Ant]

*appears in the usual outlandish manner*

*leaves a shiny new hod with a ribbon tied in a bow on the handle for DM*

[citizenED]

*saunters in with gorgeously wrapped BBP for DM*

*notices crates of Bolly stacked behind bar*

*tempted............*

*no damn resolve; cracks open a bottle*

BBP = Big Birthday Present

[Jah Lush]

*Hears the sound of a cocktail shaker outside quiet room door*

*sticks head in and smells the Zombies...hmmmm*

*Grabs pint glass and asks Keef to pour away*

*Glugs down in one vast swallow*

*Slips out again in mad rush to get B'day card and gold plated house brick for the fragrant and lovely Dulwichmum*

[Jah Lush]

*Slips back in again*

*Suspiciousy quiet in here even for the quiet room*

*perhaps all are hiding behind the curtains waiting for DM's arrival*

*Lays present and card on the table*

*Opens bottle of Chateau Margeaux '61 and leaves to breath*

*Slips out again into the cold night air for some smokes*

[Keef]

*Follows Jah for a Marlboro Red*

[dulwichmum]

Bursts into quiet room - eyes light up with delight.

"I'm home boys! Lets have some fun."

*Unwraps gifts - and jumps about with glee - you know me so well*

*Disappears behind Japanese screen*

*Emerges a few minutes later "what do you think?"

[Keef]

M'lady you look divine! *Kisses DM's hand and offers her a large glass*

[dulwichmum]

*Accepts glass graciously, and plants big kiss on Mr Keef's nose (he is a married man now afterall...)*

[citizenED]

*DM looking radient*

*with all this opulence and elegance the Quiet Room looks like a M & S advert*