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*tip-toes into QR sporting hot pair of max black-out shades*

*all this visual noise in the QR is rather blinding*

*seeks out favourite chair - flops into it and cracks open an extremely well deserved Newcastle Brown*

*opens packet of Family Sized pork scratchings*

*that'll scare the lil' piglets away*

*offers them round*

*Walks into quiet room carrying old fashioned doctors' bag*

*Pours self and Brendan large Jack Daniels and a couple of pints of Guinness*

*Places bag on glass coffee table, reaches inside and pulls out two large vials marked "Weekend powder*

(Thinks...might be needing this if I'm to stay up and watch the boxing in the early hours of Sunday morning)

*Best try first...retrieves old fashioned cut throat razor from bag and starts chopping out powder into six inch lines.

*Retrieves straw from the bar and inserts into right nostril*

*Inhales deeply, sneezes and scatters powder everywhere*

*Oh bugger!*

*Notices Brendan's appalling dandruff*

*Sees that Olivia Newton John has the same problem*

*Realises, things may be retreivable after all*

*Celebrates by lighting up a Jamaican Woodbine*

*Puts Dillinger's Cocaine In My Brain on the sound system*

*Joins Brendan in a joyous skank around the Quiet Room*

Lightly pads into quiet room, realises that Jah Lush has lowered the tone substantially by turning it into a drug den - summons the local constabulary by text. Sits quietly into favourite chair, and watches as he is pounced on by large very muscular men in special uniforms and escorted to a place where he shall be unable to powder his nose for some considerable time...


"What a shame, he seemed like such a nice person...it is the family I feel sorry for"

*Pops head in door...after being wrongfully arrested on trumped up drugs charges*

*Feels Friday night was spoiled...caught in possession of a sherbet fountain indeed*

*Now I wonder who called the cops?....Hmmm....grrrr. Nothing worse than a grass*

*Spots DM fast asleep in her favourite chair...hmmm....hmmm...nothing going on here*

*Slips out again to consult with lawyers*

*Pads into quiet room wearing snuggly jumper, leggings and cashmere socks. Opens a bottle of ice-cold Cava. Pours. Curls up on chaise longue. Ahhh. Looks around. Waves magic wand and QR is bedecked in green and gold decorations and a big tree with presents under for all QR residents.*

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  • Latest Discussions

    • I would add that the significantly increased event structure of last year, with trackway everywhere as well as the huge metal barriers, completely changes the feel of the park. I agree with Fishboy that there is a convenient blending of park with the Common, to give the impression that only a small section is used.    I still do not understand why this event cannot be moved wholesale to the Common. It would be closer to transport hubs and all other events seem to take place on the Common.
    • So - after spending weeks lying about everyone else, not to mention yesterday’s disgusting comments about Rob Reiner, Trump is officially suing BBC for 10 billion  the gall of that creature.  And anyone who defends him.  He cares nothing about “truth” Telegraph/guardian/times all reporting 10 billion.   However in bbc  news they are saying 5.  Hmmmmm    
    • Piotr and his team just completed our ensuite and we couldn’t be happier. They were a lovely team to have around and took great care with protection and clean-up every day. Communication was great and there were no nasty surprises with the final invoice despite a few challenges with the room along the way. The standard of work is incredible. We still can’t believe this room is in our house!
    • Conservationists would not agree with you
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