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*tip-toes into QR sporting hot pair of max black-out shades*

*all this visual noise in the QR is rather blinding*

*seeks out favourite chair - flops into it and cracks open an extremely well deserved Newcastle Brown*

*opens packet of Family Sized pork scratchings*

*that'll scare the lil' piglets away*

*offers them round*

*Walks into quiet room carrying old fashioned doctors' bag*

*Pours self and Brendan large Jack Daniels and a couple of pints of Guinness*

*Places bag on glass coffee table, reaches inside and pulls out two large vials marked "Weekend powder*

(Thinks...might be needing this if I'm to stay up and watch the boxing in the early hours of Sunday morning)

*Best try first...retrieves old fashioned cut throat razor from bag and starts chopping out powder into six inch lines.

*Retrieves straw from the bar and inserts into right nostril*

*Inhales deeply, sneezes and scatters powder everywhere*

*Oh bugger!*

*Notices Brendan's appalling dandruff*

*Sees that Olivia Newton John has the same problem*

*Realises, things may be retreivable after all*

*Celebrates by lighting up a Jamaican Woodbine*

*Puts Dillinger's Cocaine In My Brain on the sound system*

*Joins Brendan in a joyous skank around the Quiet Room*

Lightly pads into quiet room, realises that Jah Lush has lowered the tone substantially by turning it into a drug den - summons the local constabulary by text. Sits quietly into favourite chair, and watches as he is pounced on by large very muscular men in special uniforms and escorted to a place where he shall be unable to powder his nose for some considerable time...


"What a shame, he seemed like such a nice person...it is the family I feel sorry for"

*Pops head in door...after being wrongfully arrested on trumped up drugs charges*

*Feels Friday night was spoiled...caught in possession of a sherbet fountain indeed*

*Now I wonder who called the cops?....Hmmm....grrrr. Nothing worse than a grass*

*Spots DM fast asleep in her favourite chair...hmmm....hmmm...nothing going on here*

*Slips out again to consult with lawyers*

*Pads into quiet room wearing snuggly jumper, leggings and cashmere socks. Opens a bottle of ice-cold Cava. Pours. Curls up on chaise longue. Ahhh. Looks around. Waves magic wand and QR is bedecked in green and gold decorations and a big tree with presents under for all QR residents.*

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  • Latest Discussions

    • Disagree. Where are the police when you need them? People want a police presence, they want to feel reassured by seeing them do what the word suggests, policing, so go catch some bad guys, arrest, charge and get the CPS to prosecute with the evidence to enable this to happen. Stabbing and shootings are so common place they no longer even get reported in the public domain. How many crimes don't get solved? Rather case closed and forgotten. The number of low to high level crimes which remain unsolved is staggering.  The criminal fraternity know this, they know they won't get caught so they just carry on.  Biggest crimes which affect most people, probably are phone and car theft, both are prolific and what do the police do, diddly squat. zilch, nothing, provide a crime reference number and the case is closed. Not good enough, not by a country mile.   Met Engage? I don't think so.
    • https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/violent-crime-plunges-london-homicide-rate-b1247078.html Worth doing a little checking before making assumptions about violent crimes. Recent data suggests a drop in violent crime. Gang violence will make a significant contribution to the numbers. You are unlikely to be attacked by a stranger   
    • Unfortunately there are plenty of shops which don't care and will sell vapes, alcohol and weed to minors, I'm sure they won't care about selling them fireworks. Or the kids nick them.
    • It’s getting a bit annoying. We’ve a nervous dog who trembles when they go off. I know to expect it around Halloween and Diwali but it seems to be happening more through the year. 
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