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Darling Michael!


Ana gave birth on Christmas morning - to a baby boy she has named Brad! The child is the image of his Samoan daddy (phew...)


It is not so much reggae that I like (DM Dread indeed - you devil!!!) and what in the name of God is "Skank"?


I love a little Bhangra.

Perfect Michael,


Why would I send the sproglet up a chimney - Ana will not allow me to have anything to do with it... (sniff...) and I was preparing to adopt the infant - in order to fine tune my resemblance to Angelina Jolie (adoption is terribly now darling). Apparently home spun babies are extremely last year. Pregnancy and childbirth are only for the help...

Sproglet could earn good money cleaning chimneys and the under-sides of looms. It is a well know fact that The Factories Act does not apply to illegal immigrants. You are after all providing shelter to the infant (albeit a shed) and should expect a return.

*Bustles into the QR for the first time in many months*

*Crikey, it looks and smells like a blinking youth hostel in here*

*Right you lot, up, shower and grab ahold of these mops and dusters, we gonna have a spring clean*

*Throws open windows and sticks on a rousing tune*

*I only shower twice a year whether I need it or not. I had my last one in December for Christmas and am not due my next one until June. These pink long-johns will come off at that point and not before.*


Settles down to a lunch of pork n' beans having inexplicably come over all Slim Pickins.


*Chewing tobaccey Miss Dulwichmum? Your lookin' might perdy today, in the shower and all*

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