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*dances through with candy stripe trousers, floral waistcoat and straw boater*


*two-tone shoes flash through a tap-dance number worthy of gene kelly*


*attempts final flourish, trips on shoelace, staggers to recover but catches toe behind opposing ankle*


*one stagger... two stagger... and in the pool*

*Skips in, arms firmly by sides, kicking manically from the knee, clutching shillelagh and pint of Guiness, dressed in bright green outfit, a bowler hat with gold buckle and heavy black shoes*


*Top of the mornin' to ya! - Ah, its the afternoon, must be the large number of hours spent in the Crown Bar, Belfast last night*


*Discards Shillelagh, but not bowler hat and dives gracefully into the pool*


*Dee-dee, diddley, diddley, diddley, diddley, diddley - ad nauseum*

*Walks in feeling rather chipper, pours self a Westmalle Tripple and starts to nibble on a punnet of frites and mayonnaise*


*Anybody fancy a Belgian choccie?*


*Ambles over to DM and cant help joining her looking wistfully into her handbag*


*Its very VERY big in there .. hang on, is that a sonic screw-driver I spy?*


*Is DM really Dr Who in his/her latest manifestation? Which would mean that Batdog is K-9*


*There's a thought, time for a bollocken of Der Kooningen I think*

Stares hard at Mr Mikewbates chocolates - in the manner of Paddington Bear.


Points to window and makes urgent gestures with hand...


As Mr Mikewbate rushes to the window, grabs Belgian choccies and rushes behind Japanese screen.


Emerges after several minutes - face stained with chocolate, thinks to self - I could be bulaemic but am far too greedy to purge!


Mouthes apology and gives grateful smile to Mr Mikewbate, realises teeth are brown, withdraws to bathroom with toothbrush.

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