JetSetWilly Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 scientists have admitted that last weeks claim that they grew sperm in a test-tube, was a load of old wank. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-225225 Share on other sites More sharing options...
KalamityKel Posted July 22, 2009 Share Posted July 22, 2009 I apologise in advance!"To all my non-politically correct friends!In deference to The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness, it was announced today that the local climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as "English Weather."Rather than offend a growing portion of the population, it will now be referred to as "Muslim Weather."In other words - partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite."KK disclaimer: I take no responsibility for, if any, offense is caused. I have no issues with one faith, belief or what 'ave u. It's all the same to me... *shuts mouth* Sowwy! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-228156 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 My wife's going to a fancy dress party in The Gulf dressed as Thelma Flintstone.Dubai?No, it's an Abu Dhabi do. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230263 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She's on a concert tour over there at the moment.Qatar?No, she's a vioinist. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230267 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Her last tour was in Korea.Seoul?No, mainly classical stuff. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230270 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She got really good at pub sports after spending a year studying in northern France.Arras? Nah, mostly billiards and table football. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230274 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She wanted to live in the Ardenne but she couldn't face the paperwork.Rheims?Yeah, loads of the stuff. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230277 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She was in Brittany during the war.Rennes?No, the WAAF. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230279 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She got caught up in a US invasion in the Caribbean once.Grenada?No, but they shot at her with machine guns. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230281 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She first fell in love in Eastern France but it turned out he was gay.Nancy?There's no need to be offensive. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230286 Share on other sites More sharing options...
???? Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She had an awful tummy in Belgium one yearBrussells?Nah, I think it was the chips Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230288 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HonaloochieB Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 I hear that Ted's wife is going to work on one of the larger Caribbean islands.Jamaica?No. I'm not in a position to coerce Mrs Max into that sort of committment, and even if I were I certainly wouldn't. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230291 Share on other sites More sharing options...
???? Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She spent some time in recuperation in the south of FranceNice?Well if penicillined up to her eyeballs, no booze and Syphillis guilt was her 'bag' it could have been Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230295 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HonaloochieB Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Is it true that Mrs Max is off to a county that borders Greater London, Kent, East Sussex, West Sussex, Hampshire, and Berkshire?Surrey?I SAID, IS IT TRUE THAT MRS MAX IS OFF TO A COUNTY THAT BORDERS GREATER LONDON, KENT, WEST SUSSEX, HAMPSHIRE, AND BERKSHIRE??? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230296 Share on other sites More sharing options...
???? Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Anyway, it was further to the eastKent?Well if you're going to be like thatAdded italics Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230298 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HonaloochieB Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Mrs Max is off to a city in West Yorkshire to assist the local police in an ongoing investigation.Leeds?She'll be pursuing quite a few. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230302 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She moved on to Blackpool after that and really didn't like the look of bits of Lancashire.Preston?Yes, she decided to do the journey without stopping. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230303 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HonaloochieB Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 I hear tell the good Mrs Max recently visited a volcanic island in the Sunda Strait between Java and Sumatra in Indonesia. While there she had the misfortune to sustain an injury to one of her feet, but she endured it with good humour and kept the locals in stitches with her Chico Marx impersonations.Krakatoa?Noa, but she sure did'na do hera biga toenaila too mucha good. 'As fora sure. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230305 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted Max Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 She's good at going up mountains, though. In Nepal, she climbed a really high one in record time.Everest?No, she went all the way to the summit in one go. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230306 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HonaloochieB Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Mrs Max on her visit to Italy went straight to the capital city.Rome?No, she didn't budge. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230310 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HonaloochieB Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Mrs Max had the misfortune to be afflicted with an 'outie' navel. On visiting her GP he sent her for treatment to a specialist in North Wales.Prestatyn?She tried that many times before she went to North Wales. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230311 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HonaloochieB Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Ted's missus decided that fancy cocktails were no longer for her. From now on she'd settle for a small Brtish port.Grimsby?Actually, now you mention it, yes. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230313 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huguenot Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Caught short looking for a public convenience in a Cotswold village, she finally had to 'go' behind a hedge.Wyre Piddle?Well, too much fortified wine I guess. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230316 Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbadwolf Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Pack it in you lot. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230343 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhinestone Cowboy Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/42/#findComment-230399 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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