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a joke

Mark

By Mark
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Bluerevolution

Bluerevolution

Posted
Posted

Dave goes to the doctors and tells him his wife is having problems when they have sex

After a series of tests, the doctor concludes his wife suffers from overheating during sex

He instructs dave, the next time they have sex to put a fan on but Dave's a skinflint so asks his mate to waft a towel

After 10 mins of sex Dave says to his mate give me the fucking towel do you want to have a go?

his mate says yes ok

after 2 or 3 minutes Dave's missus explodes all over the bed, and has the most intense ogasm ever

Dave looks at his mate and says "now that's how you waft a f****** towel"

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Jah Lush

Jah Lush

Posted
Posted

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.

He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price!

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Jah Lush

Jah Lush

Posted
Posted

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, and the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs, "Oh, no" he says, "everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."

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