Jump to content

a joke

Mark

By Mark
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

Bluerevolution

Bluerevolution

Posted
Posted

Dave goes to the doctors and tells him his wife is having problems when they have sex

After a series of tests, the doctor concludes his wife suffers from overheating during sex

He instructs dave, the next time they have sex to put a fan on but Dave's a skinflint so asks his mate to waft a towel

After 10 mins of sex Dave says to his mate give me the fucking towel do you want to have a go?

his mate says yes ok

after 2 or 3 minutes Dave's missus explodes all over the bed, and has the most intense ogasm ever

Dave looks at his mate and says "now that's how you waft a f****** towel"

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/57/#findComment-439801
Share on other sites
Jah Lush

Jah Lush

Posted
Posted

A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.

He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price!

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/57/#findComment-441739
Share on other sites
Jah Lush

Jah Lush

Posted
Posted

An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, and the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs, "Oh, no" he says, "everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/295-a-joke/page/57/#findComment-441784
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
  • Advertise Here

  • Latest Discussions

    • Sue
      Up date on Viet Flavour

      By Sue · Posted

      😮
    • NewWave
      Up date on Viet Flavour

      By NewWave · Posted

      was the price not displayed on the menu?
    • Lord Pencilton
      4+ Assessment Advice for Parents

      By Lord Pencilton · Posted

      It has come to this author’s attention that the world of 4+ admissions — that most enigmatic of educational rites — continues to bewilder even the most composed of parents. Fear not. For in a former life, I was not merely a humble observer, but a seasoned educator of over twenty years, and Head of Pre-Prep for a distinguished dozen. Now, with quill exchanged for touchscreen, I have taken to that most modern of salons — Instagram — to dispense guidance, answer frequently whispered questions, and illuminate the shadowy corners of school selection with clarity and calm. Each post bears my signature twist: a blend of insight, levity, and the occasional raised eyebrow. Should you find yourself adrift in the sea of admissions, I suggest you peruse my latest dispatch. It may well be the lifeline you seek. The Delicate Dilemma of the Summer-born 4+ Scholars Yours in solidarity and scholastic savvy, Lord Pencilton  🎩✏️
    • kiera
      GALA 2026

      By kiera · Posted

      Perhaps Gooseygreeny was not familiar with the wildlife before Gala was imposed on the park, since when its value to wildlife has deteriorated. The Park had never been disturbed before, as the council had respected it as a Site of Importance for Nature Conservation, so only the Common was licensed by them as a site for events. The first time Gala held their event, there was a tree with woodpeckers nesting in it right in the middle of the main field they used and thrushes, blackbirds and great tits nesting within the shrubs and trees immediately surrounding the field. The woodpeckers were thriving on ants from the anthills in the grass. To those of us who used to enjoy watching the wildlife, it was very obviously a Site of Importance for a variety of birds. Despite being accessed by the public and their dogs, it had been relatively undisturbed,  which was one of the main reasons why it was so special and why I have been opposed to the Gala festival being held during the bird nesting season.

East Dulwich Forum

Established in 2006, we are an online community discussion forum for people who live, work in and visit SE22.

Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...