Best SPAM emails you've had

[LuvPeckham]

The following website is priceless 419eater.com and is a site for getting revenge on spammers...

the 419 scam is mainly from Nigeria and this is an open forum where people take up the offer, then get the spammers to send over pictures as proof of who they are

Some of them are works of art and the funniest are where the spammers don't speak good English so they hold up signs that are a trifle rude about themselves...

Keith - have you been doing this already without telling us ? see Numpty

I especially love the guy who was asked to send a photo with a fish on his head Fish man

Go through all the rooms to pick out your favourites...

[LuvPeckham]

Become the unicorn of your neighborhood

How lovely to become a mythical creature that is associated with virgins, with soft curly hair and spouting a huge horn........ oh

I see

NO

that is just plain rude....

Filthy swines

::o

[KalamityKel]

"Cum and flow like a river"

"best butt in the west"

"your new power is not far off"

"breathe a new life into your love organ"

OMG!!!!! ::O

[SeanMacGabhann]

was that Spam or a PM from CWALD?

;-)

[KalamityKel]

:-$ Actually it was LuvPeckham the cheeky bugger! ;-)

[KoolBananas]

Sheesh I'm jealous!

I never seem to get anything like that :-|

[LuvPeckham]

KalamityKel Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> :-$ Actually it was LuvPeckham the cheeky bugger!

> ;-)

OI

Whatever happened to being Innocent unless caught with your pants down showing everyone yout Unicorn then ??

besides my innuendos are much less subtle !!!

[KalamityKel]

I was refering to u filling me box wiv "stuff"... okies mayb that belongs on ya other thread... :-$

Hehe apparently I can also be the object of all women's cravings :-S not sure on that one tbh

[Moos]

I'm constantly being invited to update my penis, which I find tedious. Judging by my grasp of all the other technical gadgets I own (phone, BlackBerry, DVD player etc.) if I had a penis, I'd still be using it in the most basic way possible, would be unaware of its more advanced features and would certainly not be wanting to upgrade to some better version which I wouldn't even be able to turn on.*

*any double meaning discernable in any of the choices of word, phrase or syntax is intentional.

[LuvPeckham]

I think the one that I found most disturbing today was

"Too many Trees in East Dulwich" (6)

[KalamityKel]

2days advice in my spam box leads me to "become an unexcelled lover" by using "Brazil's potent growth formula" whilst "learning how to cure your most painful illnesses" which is apparently "real help for many men" enabling me to "spend nights with greater enthusiasm"

is it hot in here or wot?! ::o

[KalamityKel]

"your boss needs to be slapped!"

Hahaha OMG! I'm in stitches here! :))

[*Bob*]

I just had an email, subject header "Peniss reattached aafter maid cuts it off"

and the email simply says

"Heyello,

Briing your wife We'll fucck her! That's right we'll fucck your wife! :)

Click here"

It is, of course, of no use to me whatsoever as I'm not married.

[cdonline]

Had an email last week advising me that internet dating leads to an increase in Syphillis. Thanks for the concern.

Also one advising me that Elton John was dead, which was a bit wierd.

[LuvPeckham]

Had an excellent one this morning

"Bigcock found in remote village" - "You have heard of the legendary bigfoot well scientists have now found a man in a remote village of the andies that could be the missing link with his huge male member..."

fascinating, interesting and deleted....

[Horsebox]

Amongst the usual junk inviting me to enlarge my tiny tool, pound my lover senseless and also to ensure that my love muscle is "bigger than world" were a few suspicious looking news bulletins from MSNBC or CNN or similar informing me that

A) Britney Spears was found beheaded in Hollywood

and

B) Sperm Flavored Cocaine is all the rage in LA.

(?)

[Asset]

I've been bombarded with the CNN one for the last few weeks. 10 a day. right pain. It's phishing for security details so delete it.

[LuvPeckham]

The CNN one appears to have been replaced with "world news" or something of that Ilk

I personally recommend downloading and installing Mailwasher, which reads emails directly from your server and shows you if the are spam or friends and allows you to delete them prior to importing them into your mail program (outlook)

http://www.mailwasher.net/ totally free and I have been using it for about 4 years now... downside is yu have to train it concerning who your friends are, upside is you can see emails without downloading them and delete them directly from the server or send back a 'bounced email account' message stating that the email address used doesn't exist

very very useful and one of the most useful utilities I have ever come across in the fight against spam (it also allows you to preview an email so that you can see what the contents are without downloading anything)

[Asset]

interesting, will investigate. I get tons of spam. mail server filters a lot out but loads still gets through.

[Peckham native]

Just received this wonderful message, apparently from Microsoft - now I know the Americans talk funny & all that....

RE:FINAL PAYMENT NOTIFICATION

Dear Beneficiary

We Apologize for the delay of your payment and all the Inconveniences and Inflict that we might have indulge you through,

However, we were having some minor problems with our payment system which is Inexplicable and have held us straitened and Indolent not having the Aspiration to devote our 100% Assiduity in accrediting foreign payments.

We Apologize once again, from the Records of outstanding Inheritance and Lottery Winners Due for payment at the office of the OVERSEA CREDIT COMMISSION your name and particulars was discovered as next on the list of the outstanding payment who have not yet received their payments.

I wish to inform you now that the square peg is now in square hole and can be voguish for that your payment is being processed and will be released to you as soon as you respond to this letter.

Also note that from our record in our file, your outstanding payment is $1,510,062.00USD {ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED AND TEN,SIXTY TWO UNITED STATES DOLLARS}

Payment will be made to you in a certified bank draft or wire transfer into your nominated Bank account, as soon as you get in touched with.

Mr.Gerritt Hanz

Manager Remittance Department

Oversea Credit Commission.

Europe Representative Office

TEL:+447023068550

E-mail: [email protected]

Provide him with the following details, as this will enable him to process and release of your fund without any delay.

1) FULL NAME:.....................

2) ADDRESS:.......................

3) PHONE,AND MOBILE:...............

4) PROFESSION:.....................

5) AGE:............................

Your urgent reply to Mr.Gerritt Hanz via e-mail: [email protected] will effect the speedy release of your fund to you within 3 working days.

Yours Sincerely,

Mrs.Maureen Edwards

Vice President

Sebastian Schaefer

For:Debt Reconciliations Committee

[ratty]

Greetings in Jesus' Name............

[LuvPeckham]

"Sit back and watch your organ grow!"

I have to say ?ucking ?antastic - I can finally enlarge my sturdy old Hammond organ into a fully fledged Church Organ... Now all I will need is the required planning permission in order to slide it into a more cavernous space ::o