Snooze Shade - apparently it's cruel!

[lulu]

Or so I was told while I was on the bus with a crying baby. I was at Dulwich Park and had to catch the bs as I had a doc appointment. I was in a hurry and decided as it was a 5 -10 minute journey so sort baby out when I got to the surgery. Normally a combination of the shade and the motion of the bus sends her to sleep. In this case it didn't. As my child cried I was subjected to a barrage of abuse for keeping the shade on. First a women said she felt sorry for my child as she couldn't see daylight. Then another women insisted I take my child out and sort her out. Finally another women at the back shouted she felt it was child cruetly to use the shade!! It was incredibly stressful. Just because I use public transport does not make my baby public property. In all cases the women were older and clearly not familiar with these new fangled pieces of baby kit. It was a nightmare. I think I will walk next time.....

[OverTheRainbows]

Wow - I know what's it's like to have the odd tutting idiot who thinks they know better but that's a whole barrage! Just remember that it's them with the problem and nothing better to do, not you!

[fapl]

I think people lose their temper really quickly on crowded buses. I had a woman tell me the other week my son crying on the bus was not normal. He just didn't want to be there but there no point getting as we had to get home and if we had got off and got the next bus it would have been just as bad. I turned around and told her she wasn't being very helpful. I can't remember anything like that happening not on a bus in a long time. If you are anywhere else you can just pop outside or something, but a bus nobody can get off between stops.

You need a thick skin traveling on buses with a baby :)

There are lovely people on buses too, the number of times my kids have been offered sweets, and once an old man gave me ?10 to treat them (and I don't think I look poor!).

[Strawbs]

That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard, those people need to button their lips, it is hard enough being a mum with a small baby without people making you feel bad. I used to use a snooze shade with my son when he was quite young as he hated the sun being on him at all so no it is not cruel. Try to shake it off and not let it knock your confidence.

[alieh]

A similar thing happened to me on a bus when my second was very small but this particular woman caught me on a bad day and I snapped and yelled very loudly right in her face "Don't tell me what to do with my own baby. Mind your own business." Very unlike me but it made me feel better and she looked very taken aback!

[hellosailor]

someone once came up to me in Dulwich Park when my daughter was a baby and I had a muslin hung across her buggy with clothes pegs to stop the glare of the sun, to tell me how cruel I was....baffling...

[lulu]

Thanks everyone. It's good to hear I am not the only one being subjected to this nonsense. I felt like I was being bullied. I didn't want to verbally engage as I felt a) I didn't need to explain myself and b)they were being bullies. In the end before I got off the bus I told the lady to pipe down as she didn't understand. I use the bus all the time. My top tip is to avoid travel after 3. The bus is usually rammed. I put it down to a bad experience. It's a tough gig being a mummy at times....

[aasima]

Unbelievable.

I can only imagine these people don't have children themselves. Anyone who has had a baby would completely understand what you were trying to do and appreciate that you of all people would love your child not to cry!

I find it helpful to remind myself that I will never please all people all of the time - you know how to look after your baby and other people can go jump!

[buggie]

A colleague told me once how they'd had a social worker contact them asking about a family as the mother-in-law had contacted them complaining that the mum put her coat over the buggy (as a shade). Needless to say the social worker web satisfied nil of concern was going on & didn't pursue it!

[cmacnew]

I swore by the snooze shade for son #1!!! It helps them to sleep so how can that be cruel?

[Convex]

I love the snooze shade and those women sound like they should have known better

The worst advice always comes when you are feeling the most uncertain, doesn't it!

[Ellie78]

That is absolutely ridiculous - next time, tell them to stuff it, honestly. I hate it when people feel they have a right to comment on your baby when they don't know anything her/him.

we use the Snooze Shade because our son WILL NOT SLEEP if he's stimulated by daylight and interesting goings on. It's a must, a life saver no less! (erm, and it's not like it wasn't designed precisely for babies and went through safety checks etc.)

I do have to say though I have consistently encountered strangers commenting whilst using it - they haven't commented to my face, but they'll walk past and loudly say something about it to their friends- ranging from 'Snooze shade....doesn't sound like it's working...' (no, not yet - I've just got it on and he's protesting because he knows he off to Snooze Land) to 'That's awful - have you seen one of those before?'.

[lulu]

I know!! People particularly older people don't get it. I fully intend to carry on using my snooze shade. It's a great piece of kit and I don't need to justify my use of it to a bunch of biddies on the bus who have nothing better to do but harass mummies!!

[sillywoman]

Thats odd, they're not really new are they? To the best of my knowledge they've been around for at least a decade or more. Maybe the 'older people' just saw a crying baby on a hot, crowded bus who's Mum isn't picking them up to comfort them? It normally takes a lot for people to speak out en masse, so to speak. But I wasn't there and you were lulu so maybe you're right and those 'older people' just didn't get your 'new fangled' bit of equipment. I'm sorry you - and they - had such a stressful journey. :(

[duchessofdulwich]

The problem I found with the parasols for prams is they are fiddly and time consuming to attach the pram. Then whe your walking along constantly have the re adjust the thing to keep the blocked. I bought a snooze shade about three years ago however i wonder if babies do get hot underneath them ?

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

The shade a babe is great, it stops UV and it doesn't get hot at all, it keeps the baby cool. No idea about the snooze shade but blankets and coats would get hot and stuffy and muslin offers no UV protection.

[Convex]

They definitely don't get as hot under a snooze shade as they do under a blanket.

There are studies etc but I am going by personal experience!

[EDmummy]

These shades have been around for a very long time. We got ours in Australia 12 years ago and they were very commonly used then. I'm afraid what people were probably objecting to was controlled crying on a bus (warm, closed environment full of strangers) and I'm sorry to say I'm with them. Of course I wasn't there to witness what happened and can only speak as a mother of two and a v frequent bus user but I would absolutely never have subjected other people to my child being left to cry. I'm sorry you were offended by people's complaints but I'm not surprised by the reaction.

[Saffron]

OP did not mention using CC. According to her post she was taking a short journey on a bus to get to an appointment on time, and more than one person specifically commented on the shade. It's not always possible to get a baby safely in/out of a buggy particularly on short journeys. The OP does not appear to have intended to subject people to a crying baby, indicating that she had thought the baby would go to sleep. The bus can be a real crucible. Cripes, can we not cut each other some slack? I guess not.

[Bellenden Belle]

In defence of EDmummy, my reading of the original post was that the OP thought it was only 5/10 mins so she would 'sort it out later', implying she would let her child cry and comfort her when she arrived at the doctors. So EDmummy was possibly right in her assumption.

"Can we not cut each other some slack?" Erm, yes - but is there no room for an honest response? Just because we're mums does that mean nothing ever goes unchallenged but instead we all chorus our approval of each other? Us against the rest of the world, right?

[EDmummy]

Bellenden Belle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> In defence of EDmummy, my reading of the original

> post was that the OP thought it was only 5/10 mins

> so she would 'sort it out later', implying she

> would let her child cry and comfort her when she

> arrived at the doctors. So EDmummy was possibly

> right in her assumption.

Thanks BB. My comments were based on being on both sides of this situation. I know 5-10 mins of my own child crying is enough to send me la la, let alone 5-10 mins of someone else's.

>

> "Can we not cut each other some slack?" Erm, yes -

> but is there no room for an honest response? Just

> because we're mums does that mean nothing ever

> goes unchallenged but instead we all chorus our

> approval of each other? Us against the rest of the

> world, right?

[esme]

Wow just catching this thread... find it pretty unreal people added their "twopence worth" when you were just trying to get from A to B - people should mind their own business a bit more!

People can be SO impatient, even when things do not concern them - hardly child cruelty putting on a snoozeshade ;)

[Lula]

Totally agree, Esme. Parents, IMHO, tend to know what's best for their own child/children. Also, as kids get older they can wind you up so easily. You hardly need heckling from the sidelines...

[Saffron]

Controlled crying is a very specific technique, not the same thing as a baby crying on a bus. Also, suggesting that everyone is familiar with snooze shades and approves of them is clearly not correct, as not only did the OP receive comments specifically about it, other posters relate similar incidents. I think the OP deserves to be cut some slack b/c we don't know what it would have taken to 'sort it out'. In all fairness, it may have involved something more complicated than the OP felt she could safely and effetively accomplish alone on a bus between stops.

Yes, by all means feel free to challenge the OP and post your honest opinions. But equally, if your opinion involves little more than a string of huge assumptions, then it's probably going to be challenged as well. That has nothing to do with being a mother. It's simply the application of logic. Xx

[Saffron]

In my experience, a little sympathy goes a long way. Maybe the people on the bus were just annoyed with the crying and used the shade as an excuse for their unhelpful comments. Maybe they wouldn't have said anything if Baby was sleeping. We'll never know. But what we do know from the OP's post is that she was upset by the comments. Babies pick up on parental stress. Stressed mother equals stressed baby. So the passengers' negative comments could very well have had the opposite effect from trying to resolve the situation. Actually from the OP'p.o.v. comments only served to make a tough situation worse. So their comments were completely pointless, unless of course their point was just to vent on a fellow passenger.

If I were a passenger on that bus, I would have been waaaaay more annoyed with others' comments than a crying baby. Baby's cry. It's a fact of life, but adults have a choice of words. I can't condone people verbally attacking someone on public transport for a crying baby in a buggy. It's not helpful or necessary.