You know you're getting old when...

[Atticus]

The best part of a night out is discovering the toilets have an Xlerator

[UncleBen]

Your waste size exceeds your age

[DulwichFox]

When you realise restaurants no longer do Prawn Cocktails with shredded lettuce and seafood sauce.

Foxy

[HonaloochieB]

There are no film stars. Just actors. Men actors and women actors.

Completing their work to a high standard and no doubt scoring high on both their mid and end of year appraisals.

Andy Warhol must be getting someone to spin in their grave for him.

[Dog duck]

...when you go in to the Cockhouse for a couple of drinks before going home to supper and have to leave after one because there's a f***en b'day party going on at 7 o'cock with music SO f'ing loud n tossers screaming with hoots of drunken joy that pisses so many people off paying for the crappy over priced sh*t food that you have to leave whilst cussing the tossy running of the place...

[HonaloochieB]

...you're indifferent to anothers' obviously very recent pain and outrage, partly due to amount of alcohol you've taken.

In fact you laugh.

Immoderately.

[Dog duck]

...cheers

[UncleBen]

When bouncers wave you in without searching you. Well really.

[aquarius moon]

You're too tired to stay up past midnight.

[HonaloochieB]

Dog duck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> ...cheers

That's OK, old and alcohol, it's combination, I tell you, a combination...

[Dog duck]

Speak for yourself. Where's me corkskrew...

[computedshorty]

You know you're getting old when...

Your Pre Paid Funeral Director phones you daily, one day I did not answer the phone as I was in the shower, I later looked out of the front window to see him placing trafic cones at my curb.

A little bit premature?

[dbboy]

when someone younger than you, offers you a seat on the bus.

[DulwichFox]

When you try and buy a round of 8 drinks with a Fiver.

Foxy

[Annette Curtain]

When you look at the clock and think .....

"I am but hurling through an abstract quantum concept towards my own ultimate demise"

[Dopamine1979]

When your hangovers are no longer just a slight headache but instead an initial feeling of still being quite drunk followed by an afternoon of such intense suffering that you long for the sweet release of death.

[Jah Lush]

You no longer take drugs and drink with such abandon.

You have to think really hard about the last time you got laid.

You get your first pair of varifocals.

Your hair starts going seriously grey.

Your hair starts falling out.

You're not as slender as you once were.

You finally hang your boots up.

[Mick Mac]

UncleBen Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> When bouncers wave you in without searching you.

> Well really.

Or they say "wait outside old boy, i'm sure your daughter will be out in a moment, does she know what time you are picking her up"

[Jeremy]

Probably when you start to think that policemen look like kids.

Or worse - when politicians look like kids.

[numbers]

...you have socks that are older than most of your colleagues.

[HonaloochieB]

Jokes you liked no longer make sense.

Bob - "Vic, my area's so rough, I have to go home via the supermarket".

Vic - "Why's that, Bob"?

Bob - " Because it's the only SAFEWAY"

Damn and blast you to Hell or LIDL, whichever comes first, Morrisons.

[KidKruger]

The older women you used to fantasise about are of equal age, or, scarily, slightly younger than you.

[julesclaire]

you know when your getting old when it takes longer to recover the next day compared to the time u were out the night before.

you know your getting old when girls refer to you as 'that lady' or 'the women' in a queue, normally in a way that implies i must be tired ! im only 36 !

you know your getting old when you used to rave to garage and dance and now prefer michael bubeleeeeeee ! and andre rieu recitals !

you know your getting old when you buy something to wear because it looks comfy !

heres to getting older !

[maxxi]

...you forget when you've already posted on a thread.

[maxxi]

.... you forget when you've already posted on a thread.