The dark side of the forum. (stupid, aggressive "we'll ruin you on the EDF" comments)

[StraferJack]

Was that when the owners of the cherry tree accused the popular management team of being incompetent an alcoholics?

Yeah that was a poor show by the owners of the cherry tree

[muffins78]

I post irregularly, or moreso, I go through peaks/troughs of either looking or posting on the forum. I use it to source things moreso now, and really I'd post more, if I didn't think I'd be set upon. Its not like I've anything controversial to say, but moreso, that some posters appear to be "above" others and it can be a bit intimidating. There will be little or nothing which can ever be done about that, because people are entitled to their opinion, and obviously, what we "write" may not seem the same as if we said it verbally (pitch/tone/empathy is all missing when we just write). I think people should be more mindful of that kind of thing.

I hate the idea that the forum is used to vent an anger that is either unfounded, blown out of proportion, out of context or missing vital information (the latter I've seen on another forum I am on, where people posted half stories, allowing other readers to think the worst of a situation, which actually wasn't how the situation was).

If you are going to post, good or bad, tell the whole truth, even accept that you may be blowing things out of proportion or that your grievance may be temporary - its not fair on the readers or if the post is about someone, its not fair on them...

And we all have bad days, where one day something is "big" to us, and other days it won't affect us - so before we post, perhaps wait until we know we are calm about something - so it can be a measured post??

[Otta]

yeknomyeknom Wrote:

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Many times I have seen a nice simple post start out

> only for some regular names to say something

> sarcastic or belittling in response. The family

> discussion area isn't like this at all though.

You're joking! It may not happen that often, but when the claws come out in the family room it gets real messy!

[red devil]

Otta Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> yeknomyeknom Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> Many times I have seen a nice simple post start

> out

> > only for some regular names to say something

> > sarcastic or belittling in response. The

> family

> > discussion area isn't like this at all though.

>

>

> You're joking! It may not happen that often, but

> when the claws come out in the family room it gets

> real messy!

True dat. I know my limits...

[StraferJack]

muffins makes some good points there I think. The only thing I would take issue with is the notion of some being "above" others

I think what happens is that people who post so regularly that they are "known" to a lot of other regular readers acquire a certain ease in the machinations of various threads. Where once they too were intimidated to post for fear of becoming the focus of attention, now opinions just flow freely. And this ease can appear arrogant to many others but it's rarely the case they think themselves "above" anyone

As an aside - I was joking slightly in my comments earlier about Cherry Tree but there are a couple of seperate points

- some of the individuals/family members who own the Cherry Tree were described in unacceptable language. I don't think the moderators left those posts up deliberately but maybe noone complained about them either. Nor does it matter if I have heard the same individuals/family members describe certain customers & neighbours in even more offensive language... basically on here, noone should be abused for the way they look, in my opinion

- But who did post those derogatory remarks? I can't recall and I'm not sure it was a "regular poster" (I could be wrong). So if the complain from some people about the forum is "some regular posters are bullies" and that cherry tree comment was used as evidence, it doesn't stack up

I don't believe there are bullies on here. I think there are a hell of a lot of posters and some of them I would rather just went away but even those I don't think are bullies

This topic has come up a few times in the past tho, so I know the perception doesn't go away. But I think it is a perception not a reality

[LadyDeliah]

I like to post fairly strong opinions on topics I care about. I push the boundaries deliberately because I like to challenge the status quo and try to open people up to alternative view points and debate.

I never expect my views to be accepted by the majority as they rarely conform with the norm so am happy to debate with those holding opposing views to my own, but even so, I am sometimes surprised by the venom some posters spit at me with personal insults.

Having said that, I am sometimes a bit mean to people I think are bigoted or aggressive so maybe it can be a matter of perception.

What I can't stand though is when someone posts something fairly inane, or something with bad spelling / grammar and they then receive a load of really unpleasant posts.

It makes me wonder what miserable, frustrated little lives these unlikable people live.

[Jeremy]

StraferJack Wrote:

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> The only thing I would take issue with is the notion of some being "above" others

Well... there is/was someone who could sometimes give that impression...

[LadyDeliah]

Come on Jeremy - grow a pair, name & shame.

[muffins78]

Just to be clear, when I said "above" - I did offset with the following:

"There will be little or nothing which can ever be done about that, because people are entitled to their opinion, and obviously, what we "write" may not seem the same as if we said it verbally (pitch/tone/empathy is all missing when we just write). I think people should be more mindful of that kind of thing."

And StraferJack, a lot of things are perception rather than reality, I agree with that - and I'd also add people are viewing things based on their own experiences/past, which is normal - but sometimes our experiences/past can influence our perception of things, it may not be the reality of the situation.

Ladydeliah - I hate that too, when people make things personal and make personal remarks about an individual based on, like you say, grammar etc.. I never quite get why people are so rude about those things.

[El Pibe]

I think I know who jeremy is referring to.

The absence may well be my bad.

or good.

depending on how you felt about h/im/er

[Jeremy]

I suppose I grew to quite like him. But he could certainly get under people's skin. Quite a talent for it, actually.

But I'm not suggesting for a second that this person was a bully. To me, bullying is a sustained campaign of intimidation or harassment. I've never seen that on this forum.

[Zebedee Tring]

There was someone who used to post regularly who was an intellectual bully, who regarded himself as superior to most other posters and who always had to have the last word. Happily I haven't read him recently on the MB. I hope that his absence is permanent.

This may be the same person as the one mentioned by other posters.

[Otta]

He made me laugh, I miss him.

[El Pibe]

He was definitely intellectual and confrontational, but he was no bully, nor did he regard himself superior. For the most part he was just in a different time zone with a couple of bottles of wine inside him ;)

I miss him too.

*though he did at least lurk last week!!*

[Dopamine1979]

Does the username start with an 'H' ?

If so I fully concur.

[LondonMix]

Yes though I think earlier in the post others were referring to U...

[steveo]

The Huge nut used to annoy the shit out of me but it's a drabber place without him

[Alan Medic]

Come back H is all I say. Never annoyed me at all as he was way above my head most of the time. One of the few people whose posts were consistently interesting.

[LadyDeliah]

Wow, I wouldn't have guessed that was who you were talking about. Never took him like that to be honest although he used to piss me off occasionally, but he was usually interesting.

[Zebedee Tring]

Yes, Dopamine, it was. I certainly don't miss that gentleman.

[aquarius moon]

I don't think he is too far away.

ETA: I think he logs in every week !

[Alex K]

Sue writes: "On that wider issue, I was talking to somebody only last night who was saying that she won't post on this forum for fear of being set upon by the forum bullies. She has lived round here a long time, and I think it's very sad that she feels that way."

This post may set a benchmark for lack of insight into the flavour of the poster's own contributions.

[Sue]

Alex K Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Sue writes: "On that wider issue, I was talking

> to somebody only last night who was saying that

> she won't post on this forum for fear of being set

> upon by the forum bullies. She has lived round

> here a long time, and I think it's very sad that

> she feels that way."

> This post may set a benchmark for lack of insight

> into the flavour of the poster's own

> contributions.

xxxxxxx

And there you have it .....

ETA: Perhaps you'd like to share some examples of what you have in mind, Alex K?

If it will help, you can click on my name and you can see all my posts. Do feel free to go through all of them and see what you can find :)

[Alex K]

Case rested. Thanks, Sue, for confirming the point.

[Sue]

Alex K Wrote:

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> Case rested. Thanks, Sue, for confirming the

> point.

xxxxxx

Can't find any other examples then, Alex K?

Not even out of my thousands of posts?

If not, then I'm afraid I consider that my sarcasm was/is well founded :))

ETA: Out of interest, perhaps you could count up the number of my nearly 12,000 posts since 2006 (a lot, yes, but then I've always used my own name on here) which you consider support your "case".

Not that I'm very clear exactly what your "case" is.

And then let us all know what percentage of those nearly 12,000 posts they amount to.

Otherwise, I don't think your "case" can be "rested" really, can it?