The Old Fogies Thread

[david_carnell]

I see the amnesia of this thread is only temporary though. Well done old folks.

[Ant]

Now... What did I come in here for again?

[Jah Lush]

Speak up! I'm a bit mutton you know.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Kindly refresh my memory Guys.

What is this thread about?

[HonaloochieB]

Never mind your smart aleckry and Londoness, you lot upstairs, this thread stands for something.

So get up off that pouffe, Jah Lush and let your elders sit down. And me with a back on me.

Jesus, in my day pouffes gave you a bit more support, still can't be helped.

There seems to be a consumption on the part of curtain people, that this thread may have become ropey, even started to unravel.

If you could see me now, at 11:07 outside my home, greeting people as they get off the bus in the spirit of comradely love, forsaking the rigidity of convention, and just for now the restriction of clothing, I think you'd all be proud. I know I am. I've just checked, and I am proud. Proud as the oncoming sound of sirens.

Mind, this damp's not doing my chest any good. And don't the ruddy council sweep up leaves any more.

Honestly you could break your neck.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Bally coves wearing their poppies on the wrong side emerging from No. 10.

[HonaloochieB]

Got up to 'snow' this morning. Snow? Call this bloody snow? It's usless is what it is.

The buses were running and I could get to work and everything.

Not like in the days when we had proper snow and the country ground to a halt.

Weather was weather in those days, not this namby-pamby rubbish that gets served up to us today.

Blur were right, modern life is rubbish.

[mockney piers]

Snow?!? I thought it was polystyrene.

[Jah Lush]

Cold? Call this bloody cold! When I were a lad the bedroom were so cold it had icicles on the windows and you could see your own breath. And as for snow, call that bloody snow! I can remember building igloos let alone bloody snowmen in the street. Pah! Flipping youngsters of today, they're all bloody soft.

[HonaloochieB]

Bedroom, JL? And no doubt a maidservant to make the bed for you and iron your lacy collars.

Jah Little Lord Fauntleroy, that was you, that was.

[Jah Lush]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

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> Bedroom, JL? And no doubt a maidservant to make

> the bed for you and iron your lacy collars.

> Jah Little Lord Fauntleroy, that was you, that

> was.

Damn it Hona, you know me so well. Gone and ruined my street cred you have sir. Most people think I'm a yardie from Kingston and it's true I'm a yardie from Kingston Upon-Thames.

[Mscrawthew]

I`m with you Jah, we also had an outside toilet with a permantly cold seat (even in the summer) and oh the smell of a paraffin heater mixing with the aroma of boiling water to pour in the tin bath, Thats what childhood memories are made of ;-)

[HonaloochieB]

Mscrawthew Wrote:

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> I`m with you Jah, we also had an outside toilet

> with a permantly cold seat (even in the summer)

> and oh the smell of a paraffin heater mixing with

> the aroma of boiling water to pour in the tin

> bath, Thats what childhood memories are made of

> ;-)

Tin bath, was it? What, real tin?

No need to put on side just because you grew up next door to JL.

[????]

youngsters at work discussing Celebrity Big Brother..."who is that Terry Christian bloke?"

PAH

[dukesdenver]

Upon being asked to perform a feat of strength at work recently, I remarked 'Who do you think I am, Geoff Capes?' and received a blank look in response. These ignorant twentysomethings, eh?

[HonaloochieB]

dukesdenver Wrote:

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> Upon being asked to perform a feat of strength at

> work recently, I remarked 'Who do you think I am,

> Geoff Capes?' and received a blank look in

> response. These ignorant twentysomethings, eh?

DukesDenver, do you work on World's Strongest Man? You're Magnus Samuelsson, the older Swede aren't you?

Well done on throwing Capesy into the conversation, not of course that you could have thrown him very far even when you were in your prime.

Just a little humour from a fellow strongman there, no offence.

Damn those youngsters for their impudence.

Edited, because you've got to these days, haven't you?

[dukesdenver]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

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> DukesDenver, do you work on World's Strongest Man?

> You're Magnus Samuelsson, the older Swede aren't

> you?

> Well done on throwing Capesy into the

> conversation, not of course that you could have

> thrown him very far even when you were in your

> prime.

> Just a little humour from a fellow strongman

> there, no offence.

With my burnished golden locks I suppose I do have a certain Viking-esque qualities.

Yours,

dukesdenversson (World's Strongest Librarian)

[HonaloochieB]

Mikecg Wrote:

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> Well there is a common fault on the 360 which

> results in overheating, I think it was the first

> release hardware that was affected. The problem

> caused what they call "dry joints" on the solder

> lugs on the cpu. I recon you could use one to

> grill a sandwich but it may take a while.

Well Mike, since you ask about my 'dry joints'.

I don't use the word 'torture' lightly, Mike, but torture is the mot juste, in this case, and my use of French is an indication of the sheer agony I'm experiencing.

Knees? Don't talk to me about knees. The pain? I wouldn't wish it on a copper's nark, straight up I wouldn't.

And as for my left elbow, my only comfort is that it isn't my right one.

Otherwise my only comfort would be lost to me.

And as for my neck, as much use as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. According to my consultant anyway.

But thanks for asking Mike, I'd give you a thumbs-up but I'm not sure my shoulders would take it.

[Mikecg]

HonaloochieB,

What have you been smoking?

Can you get me some of it?.....

[Mikecg]

It's Ok,

I've found some,

It rolled under the bed pan, blasted rubber sheets.

[HonaloochieB]

Mikecg Wrote:

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> It's Ok,

> I've found some,

> It rolled under the bed pan, blasted rubber

> sheets.

Mike, if I had a pound for every time something rolled under my bed pan...

[HonaloochieB]

I'd be better off to the tune of twelve pounds.

And that could possibly buy me, maybe a three month introductory subscription to the New Musical Express.

Well you never know, do you?

[HonaloochieB]

Mikecg Wrote:

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> HonaloochieB,

>

> What have you been smoking?

>

> Can you get me some of it?.....

I've found myself buying most of my smoking requisites at the Double Entendre Tobacco Emporium.

Hence this evening I found myself loading the Meerschaum with a hefty load of Rough Navy Shag, sucking it down with gusto and then scraping the dottle from the end of my pipe until it felt brand new in my hand.

A quick blow on the end, and it was ready to be pressed into service again.

[HonaloochieB]

You'd think they would, wouldn't you? At my time of life. That they'd give a bit of consideration.

But they don't. It's just me at home with the first Damned single. And not even the 'A' side.

'Help' indeed.

[HonaloochieB]

It used to be all punk rock 'round here. Ask Mick Jones, you know out of The Clash.

Ask the lead singer of The Adverts. They'll both let you know.