Baby on Board Badges - Any thoughts?

[Knomester]

I'd love to know what everyone's thoughts are on the TFL 'Baby on Board' badges for pregnant women? Did/do you (or your wife/partner) wear one or not?

I didn't wear one during my first pregnancy and have to admit I've been a little reluctant so far during this pregnancy. It probably sounds really silly, but I feel a bit funny about the idea of being 'branded' by wearing a badge. But with a big bump already (at not even half way through my second trimester), very low BP and horrid back and pelvic pain (making standing on a commuter train/tube pretty painful) I am starting to wonder whether I should get one..?

I've been really lucky so far and have been offered a seat quite a few times which is lovely, but would a badge make any difference to how often someone might kindly offer their seat?

[devsdev]

I would say definitely wear it - I would similarly have moments when I had to sit down or else I would feel very faint. In fact I finally got the badge when I was in month 3-4 and almost fainted in a crowded train from ED. Was quite scary!

I must also say that I recently have found myself being unsure about whether to give someone a seat as I wasn't sure if she was pregnant or if I was going to cause a massive faux pas by assuming she was! No matter how pregnant you think you look, it may not be apparent. If people aren't being polite the badge also allows you to ask someone to let you sit on a priority seat (or other passengers might speak up on your behalf).

I took the badge off as soon as I got off the train though, as I felt silly wearing it into the office...

[Kes]

Ditto, I didn't wear one for my first pregnancy but second time around I had low BP and got quite faint at times so I did. Definitely helped me get a seat a few times and I think you always think you look more pregnant than you actually do to other people.

I also always took it off once I was off the train, until I got so massive that it seemed a little pointless!

[sunbob]

I found that on the 63 at rush hour people were determined to look down into their laps, so didn't see either my bump or badge. It was the winter so I was also wearing big coats which didn't help with showing off bump in an obvious way.

In the end I decided to take a deep breath and get ready to ask loudly for a seat each time I got on the bus.

[buggie]

Agree with the above, have barely touched the badge my DH picked up for me as find I still need to say something for it to be noticed.

Assertiveness in this situation is highly underrated, be proud, bold and ask out loud :-)

[vez]

I am over 29 weeks and have not really been wearing the badge at all. If I cannot find a seat on the train I go straight up to the priority seats and ask the person sitting in it if they need the priority seat and if they didn't mind giving it up. So far it has worked everytime, my bump has been very obvious for a number of weeks.

I prefer this to being passive and just hoping that someone will notice the bump or badge (this is what I used to do and once at 26 weeks had to stand for the entire journey and got very very faint), I'd rather make sure I get a seat when I know that I need it!

[Mrs TP]

Ah I re-found mine during clear out at the weekend - haven't worn it for almost 5yrs and those days over for me (quiet sob). Wear it, be assertive if necessary and thoroughly charming to those kind souls who help and enjoy the specialness of being preggers even with all its not so fab side effects. Congrats and good luck.

[etta166]

I didn't wear one first time, but did second and third time around. It does avoid the "fat or pregant" awkwardness that stops people from offering you a seat. In my case, I hardly had a bump at all, ever, so I doubt that I would have been spontaneously offered a seat withou one.

I had terrible hyperemesis and SPD, so I generally just asked for a seat as soon as I got on public transport. I never had any negative reaction, so I'd say that a badge and an assertive, polite request for a priority seat should solve all your problems.

[Ellie78]

I found it useful - not to get a seat necessarily (I did take people up on the offer for them but didn't desperately need to) - but it did make me more confident that my pregnancy was flagged up and I did think people were more careful about pushing, prodding etc, and generally giving me space than they otherwise would have been. It's mayhem out there in rush hour and if you wear dark clothes or you don't have a particularly enormous bump people don't necessarily notice that you're a bit more vulnerable than your average person.

[Convex]

I wear mine. I felt self conscious until I got used to it, and I think the main reason to wear it is so people who will offer a seat, can offer with confidence ie def know you are pregnant and not just bloated.

So, if you do find you need a seat at the moment you should definitely wear it. Sitting down when you need to is better than feeling faint and crappy or worse actually collapsing.

If i dont ask, I tend to get a seat on the tube about 80% of the time I reckon. The train almost always, the bus almost never!!!

[nunheadmum]

Please wear a badge. Having been offered a seat when I wasn't pregnant and feeling very embarrassed (as was the person offering!), I'm really wary now of offering unless it's obvious. But I hate feeling that I could have left someone standing who may have really needed a seat.

[Strawbs]

I have worn mine since 12w and find it beneficial. Sometimes it gets me a seat but mostly for me it is about trying to minimise being pushed around and squashed. It is difficult as a lot of people are reading or on their phones so don't lift their head to notice but it can't hurt to wear it I figure! X

[TheShelleys]

I didn't want to wear one and be branded either, but I have got so sick of people not offering me a seat, it has helped me. So it benefits me, in giving me some more of my my pre-pregnancy confidence back to ask ( that went and was replaced by weariness). I do think it also makes it easier for others to identify you quickly, making it easier for them to offer you a seat. Up to you of course, but if you're in pain or bump is bundled up under a coat, it is useful. I was also pondering this evening that it makes it much more obvious why I am slow, queuing to stand on the right and ought not to be bumped or bustled and I haven't been while wearing it.

[Knomester]

Mostly in favour of the badges then...

I also asked on twitter and a few people also said from their perspective of wanting to offer their seat, but being worried about offending, they like the badges as it takes the ambiguity away.

I guess my issue with asking for a seat buggie is that I don't feel confident enough to speak out when I get into the carriage, plus I worry that I'll ask someone who needs the seat more than me.

From what I can tell, the difference in some people's minds is that for pregnant women there ARE badges available, so some people expect you to be wearing one (even if your bump sticks out a mile). Whereas, someone with another reason for needing a seat (elderly, ill, on crutches, carrying a child, etc) won't have a badge (because they don't exist).

[Anna M]

I think they are brilliant. I didn't know about them when I was pregnant and had to resort to stroking my bump or holding my back or just plucking up the courage to ask(!) if I needed a seat. And actually it's not as easy as you might think to tell who is pregnant!! I have hovered about it several times wondering if to offer my seat or whether I'll be insulting someone. Wearing a badge avoids the ambiguity and at least if someone wants to offer a pregnant lady a seat, they can do so without fear of getting it wrong.

[buggie]

Knomester Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I guess my issue with asking for a seat buggie is

> that I don't feel confident enough to speak out

> when I get into the carriage, plus I worry that

> I'll ask someone who needs the seat more than me.

I'm sorry you don't feel confident enough to ask - I guess having had jobs where I have to constantly speak to strangers/make announcements to groups of people helped me, plus I don't ask specific people for their seat, I address the bus/train generally so nil pressure on individuals.

It was nerve racking at first, but have only ever had positive responses/been complimented on being so forward which has bolstered my confidence.

If you think about it, how would you feel seeing a pregnant woman ask out loud for a seat? For me it definitely wouldn't be annoyance or thinking they were above their station.

[Otta]

Haven't read all the posts above, but my opinion as a bloke is that it would save the "is she / isn't she" question that goes through your head when you're trying to decide whether you should offer your seat or whether it would earn you a slap.

[Cbcx]

I would really recommend getting one. Towards the end of my pregnancy (with twins) I was exhausted , ratty and using public transport regularly (mainly to get to kings). On one occasion a kind bus driver made sure I had a seat before driving off. It was such a relief for me to have people offer a seat. Best of luck :)