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not to constantly cry wolf, but it is very much MO territory.

Manage to manage posting for normal a while until sock puppet is established then finally reach a point where unable to keep a lid on trolling and bomb every thread going with some 'controversy'.

I just conducted a reconstruction of Friday's diabolical EDT incident in the staff loo here at work. For the sake of decency I only *pretended* to take a dump on the toilet floor. And I have to say, to do so for real would take some difficulty.


For starters balance. You'd have to hang on with one hand to a sink or something to stop yourself falling back into your own vile deposit. Not to mention accidently deliver your disgusting cargo into your own trousers. Add alcohol consumption to the event and you have yet another element of risk of a catastrophic outcome for the depositor.


To do this undetected without being in cahoots with another person/s on a Friday night must be virtually impossible.


However, what if we are looking at this from a totally wrong standpoint.


From day one we have looked at the perp being someone that was in the pub solely as a customer. But perhaps the offending turd was smuggled in by a person or persons unknown? Perhaps a ex-customer or employee with a grudge? A neighbour who hates the pub because of the noise or whatever? Who simply came in with the despicable item concealed in a bag. Who when the opportunity arose emptied the bag then left the pub undetected. Probably even stopped for a friendly chat with one of the bouncers on the way out after their vile act of barbarism.


The truth will out!!

Millhaven Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I just conducted a reconstruction of Friday's

> diabolical EDT incident in the staff loo here at

> work. For the sake of decency I only *pretended*

> to take a dump on the toilet floor.


I can't be the only one here hoping this story would end, "... and someone walked in on me."

This was a disgusting act, but you cannot ignore the sheer delight this thread has given me over the past two days.


I am truly torn between reprimanding and praising whoever the perp was.


Maybe, just maybe if we all once in a while dropped a cleveland steamer in an inappropriate place the world would be more able to laugh at itself - albeit while smelling a bit wiffy.


Perhaps this was a peice of existentialist art which we can reflect on and ponder the pointlessness of fleeting wrath.

One final post from me in defence of Otta?

Here are some facts?


1. Stag party members were witnessed allegedly guarding the door. If they were queuing why would they allow other people to go into the disabled loo in front of them?


2. I was the first person to walk into the loo after the stag, I saw him come out smirking, then I walked in.


3. There was a big pile of steaming shit on the floor smack bang in the middle of the floor in an area where there is an extremely low, in fact practically impossible chance of not stepping in it.


4. When spotted, the staff were immediately informed and they sorted it out. They put a sign up and they guarded the door when it was being cleaned.


5. When outside the pub we asked the stag if he?d shat on the floor of the gents. He was not in the slightest bit surprised or miffed by the accusation, in fact they found it hilarious. I for one would have been disgusted by the notion of being falsely accused of such a heinous (or should I say anus) crime.


6. And finally, they left pretty sharpish after the incident.



So make of this what you will. I strongly believe it was him. There is too much circumstantial evidence that points toward him. If it wasn?t him, then I apologise. Like I said before, he didn?t hurt anyone, he just had a shit on the floor, it?s not the end of the world.


And that?s the last I?ve got to say on the (faecal) matter.

phobic3000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> One final post from me in defence of Otta?

> Here are some facts?

>


>

> 2. I was the first person to walk into the loo

> after the stag, I saw him come out smirking, then

> I walked in.

>

> 3. There was a big pile of steaming shit on the

> floor smack bang in the middle of the floor in an

> area where there is an extremely low, in fact

> practically impossible chance of not stepping in

> it.

>

> 4. When spotted, the staff were immediately

> informed and they sorted it out. They put a sign

> up and they guarded the door when it was being

> cleaned.

>

> 5. When outside the pub we asked the stag if he?d

> shat on the floor of the gents. He was not in the

> slightest bit surprised or miffed by the

> accusation, in fact they found it hilarious. I for

> one would have been disgusted by the notion of

> being falsely accused of such a heinous (or should

> I say anus) crime.

>

> 6. And finally, they left pretty sharpish after

> the incident.

>

>

> So make of this what you will. I strongly believe

> it was him. There is too much circumstantial

> evidence that points toward him. If it wasn?t him,

> then I apologise. Like I said before, he didn?t

> hurt anyone, he just had a shit on the floor, it?s

> not the end of the world.

>

> And that?s the last I?ve got to say on the

> (faecal) matter.


I say! I think it a poor show that this additional information (notably points 2-6) weren't put forward about 3 or 4 pages ago, phobic.


However, putting that to one side for a moment, this new info is most damning and I am not sure our stag geezer and his friend's reputations will survive this.


You may very well say that no harm was done, but someone could have gone flying had they slipped in it without seeing and ended up sitting in the toxic mess. No, we pass this off as a harmless prank at our peril. Before you know it, there will be buckets of piss over the door all in the name of a laugh.

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