A bit of light relief for Xmas

[uncleglen]

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in the bath?

One of them has a soul full of hope, the other has a .....

[Alan Medic]

You know you told that joke 2 years ago. Time for new material I suspect.

[siousxiesue]

What do you call a 3 legged reindeer?

Eileen

[TheArtfulDogger]

Groan Siousxiesue

Thank the stars you didn't tell the one about what do you call a deer with no eyes !

[siousxiesue]

TheArtfulDogger Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Groan Siousxiesue

>

> Thank the stars you didn't tell the one about what

> do you call a deer with no eyes !

Mmm, no-eye-deer!

[TheArtfulDogger]

No I still have no idea either ... Hang on that's the punch line for the next joke in the series

Doh

[Earl Aelfheah]

One eye said to the other eye:

" between you and me, something smells"

[siousxiesue]

TheArtfulDogger Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Groan Siousxiesue

>

> Thank the stars you didn't tell the one about what

> do you call a deer with no eyes !

How about a dead deer with no eyes?

Still no idea;-)

[TheArtfulDogger]

siousxiesue Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> TheArtfulDogger Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Groan Siousxiesue

> >

> > Thank the stars you didn't tell the one about

> what

> > do you call a deer with no eyes !

>

>

> How about a dead deer with no eyes?

>

> Still no idea;-)

It's like the dead parrot sketch now, Siouxiesue please see post two above yours where the punch line was ruined ....by me...

It can only be countered with something so truly bad that it will end up in a cracker, something like " two drunks walk into a bar 'BOOM BOOM'. "

[Sue]

FJDGoose Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> unlurked Wrote:

> ----.---------------------------------------------

> ------

> > The wife said I should see her point of view

> more

> > often. So I looked out the kitchen window.

>

> :)

You're fired :))

[EDOldie]

The late great Tommy Cooper

'Slept like a log last night, woke up in the fireplace'

[Dog duck]

What does a Korean need when he takes his dog out?

Oven gloves

[TheArtfulDogger]

Dog duck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What does a Korean need when he takes his dog

> out?

>

> Oven gloves

Oi I object to that wruff joke

[siousxiesue]

siousxiesue Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> TheArtfulDogger Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Groan Siousxiesue

> >

> > Thank the stars you didn't tell the one about

> what

> > do you call a deer with no eyes !

>

>

> How about a dead deer with no eyes?

>

> Still no idea;-)

And there's always-what do you call a dead eyeless deer with it's throat cut?

Still bloody no eye deer!

[DulwichFox]

A Penguin goes into a pub.. Asks the Landlord "Has my dad been in ?"

Landlord replies.. " Don't know.. What does he look like ? "

Foxy..

[TheCat]

Two flys on a toilet seat.....one got pissed off......

[Planetsally]

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Interrupting muppet"

"Interrupt........."

"Mahna Mahna

Do doo be-do-do

Mahna Mahna

Do do-be doo"

[Jah Lush]

Speaking as an atheist.

http://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag237/jahlushhead/1506716_10153955774433949_2974618505049133740_n_zps9ivqpyps.jpg

[TheArtfulDogger]

A small boy and a priest are seated outside the psychiatrists office

To pass the time, the priest asks the small boy why he is there

"I like to pull the wings of birds, stick poo in people's hair and kick small animals like they are rugby balls" says the boy

"I see" said the priest, "you definitely do need some serious help"

The boy looks at the priest and asks him why he is there

The priest replies " well you see I have this invisible imaginary friend who gives me instructions on how to lead my life..."

[Dog duck]

Following his death, Jimmy Hill is to be buried at the family plot on Easter Island

[TheArtfulDogger]

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

"A rebel without a Claus"

Happy Christmas East Dulwich and enjoy your Christmas cracker jokes

[Atticus]

Skeleton walks in to a bar... 'Pint of bitter and a mop please'