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Lets have some new commandments, 'cuz its fairly obvious that the ones that Moses brought down from on high are far too difficult to adhere to in the vile, venal and already hellbound world which we already inhabit. Although I havent killed anyone yet and have yet to covet my neighbours Oxon...I've got my eye on they're PS3 though. To get the ball rolling I have "Thou shalt not Piss on My Cornflakes"...take it away Forumites. ;-)

Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless she wont take no for thy answer.


Thou shalt not use his razor on your legs and groineth, unless thou changes the blade afterwards, thy hairy sluttest.


Thou shalt not throw out his favourite shapeless bottlegreen garment, that the dog uses to dry itself on after swim in fetid pond, unles permission is sought before the wilful act of 'casting out'.


Thou shalt not insist on oral pleasure until after the act of cleansing has been thoroughly pursued with fluid from a tap and not thy personal golden variety.

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