I cant believe its the 10 commandents lite!

[bon3yard]

Lets have some new commandments, 'cuz its fairly obvious that the ones that Moses brought down from on high are far too difficult to adhere to in the vile, venal and already hellbound world which we already inhabit. Although I havent killed anyone yet and have yet to covet my neighbours Oxon...I've got my eye on they're PS3 though. To get the ball rolling I have "Thou shalt not Piss on My Cornflakes"...take it away Forumites. ;-)

[Tony.London Suburbs]

"Thou shall not Piss into my bath or hand basin."...unless,of course,the loo is full to overflowing.

[HonaloochieB]

Thou shalt not act the c@nt after a few drinks. Seriouslyus.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

"Thou shall not pissball about" after a few too many bevvies.

[bon3yard]

"Thou shalt not tip Spurs for the top 4 at the begining of each and every season"

[Jah Lush]

"Thou shalt not spilleth thine pint."

[????]

"thou shalt not Lay Stoke on Betfair at 22s as there's no way they are going to beat Arsenal" (6)

[PeckhamRose]

Thou shalt not piss it down when I am out in bad weather on the motorcycle having to go to 15 venues all over London.

[bon3yard]

Hear, hear!

[SimonM]

Thou shalt not wear a new shirt when pissing into the wind...

[bon3yard]

Thou shalt not piss into the wind, period.

[EDOldie]

Thou shalt not logon to EDF at work

Thou shalt not commit adultery

[HonaloochieB]

Thou shalt not f@ck arse about.

But if thou doest thou shalt not be a c@nt about it.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

thou shall not drink Molson, Coors, Heiniken, Corona as they all taste like piss...

[bon3yard]

Thou shalt not gainsay The Candyman, for he is wise above all men.

[mockney piers]

Thou shalt not doeth the drinking of a Sunday, forsooth tis a bad idea.

I wanteth my bed.

[Brendan]

Thou shalt not serve Lager warm

Thou shalt not serve Bitter cold

Thou shalt not pick thyne nose on the train

[bon3yard]

Thou shalt never shave thy arse with a rusty razor

[karter]

Thou shalt not prepareth fresh food with dirty hands

[Tony.London Suburbs]

karter Wrote:

Thou shalt not prepareth fresh food with dirty hands

Is it all right to prepareth food with dirty hands if the food is not fresh?:-$

[bon3yard]

Yes it is. No doubt about it. Absolutely, positively okie-dokie.

[karter]

just as well Bon3yard's food is always fresh (tu)

[bon3yard]

Your not wrong!

[SteveT]

Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless she wont take no for thy answer.

Thou shalt not use his razor on your legs and groineth, unless thou changes the blade afterwards, thy hairy sluttest.

Thou shalt not throw out his favourite shapeless bottlegreen garment, that the dog uses to dry itself on after swim in fetid pond, unles permission is sought before the wilful act of 'casting out'.

Thou shalt not insist on oral pleasure until after the act of cleansing has been thoroughly pursued with fluid from a tap and not thy personal golden variety.

[bon3yard]

Thats more like it! All good grounds for divorce in my book.