How many nurses live in Dulwich?

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Hello Cypriot Turk!

I'm sorry some of the welcomes have been a little funny but you must make allowances as we have all sorts in da village that is The East Dulwich Forum,as in life generally.

Anyway to give a serious answer to your question and apologising on behalf of those who gave trivial answers I feel this is all you need to know:-

ab2 x bx3 + cx3 + dx+ad2=34

I have split East Dulwich into 4 Regions for this exercise("a"/"b"/"c"/"d") and "x"=Number of Hospitals in the locality.

As you may know I have used a Generalized Reciprocal Equation as opposed to a Binomial Algebraic Equation Of Degree"n" which I first thought would be needed so the answer is 34.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask!

Welcome Again.:)-D

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Oh! I see that HonaloochieB and giggirl have both already given you this answer.

[KalamityKel]

Does this include the male variety?

[SteveT]

HonB wrote:-

I'll do my best to get a photo of him to you, so that if he is ever in your ward you can do that whole replacing-the-rectal-thermometer-with-a-daffodil-up-the-arse that they did to James Robertson-Justice in that film.

Carry on Nurse, I believe.

[????]

Has any one done the "There are only 3 certainties in life" joke yet?

[karter]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

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> Hello and welcome CT.

> You obviously didn't get karter.

> I'll do my best to get a photo of him to you, so

> that if he is ever in your ward you can do that

> whole

> replacing-the-rectal-thermometer-with-a-daffodil-u

> p-the-arse that they did to James

> Robertson-Justice in that film.

> What was it again? The Seventh Seal?

> Anyway I reckon there'd be 34 nurses in Dulwich.

Blimey, and all i said was Shish and Vino. You harsh lot.:-S

[HonaloochieB]

karter Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Hello and welcome CT.

> > You obviously didn't get karter.

> > I'll do my best to get a photo of him to you,

> so

> > that if he is ever in your ward you can do that

> > whole

> >

> replacing-the-rectal-thermometer-with-a-daffodil-u

>

> > p-the-arse that they did to James

> > Robertson-Justice in that film.

> > What was it again? The Seventh Seal?

> > Anyway I reckon there'd be 34 nurses in

> Dulwich.

>

> Blimey, and all i said was Shish and Vino. You

> harsh lot.:-S

But think about it Karter, if you do end up in a hospital, and someone puts a daff up your bum, then you can sue CT, me and everyone else on this thread for incitement to horticulturalise a James Robertson-Justice lookalike.

There must be some sort of law against it.

Seriously, you made what I thought was a fairly, for want of a better word 'risque' post that in other circumstances wouldn't perhaps have excited as much attention.

That it was made to a new 'un was perhaps why you got some flak, including from me, though it wasn't a personal attack on you, more of a welcome to CT, if that makes sense.

Anyway you've withdrawn the 'offending' post which is noble of you.

I think you and CT should do kissyface and make up.

[zephyr]

KalamityKel Wrote:

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> Does this include the male variety?

Hope so as I wouldn't want to be left out.

[karter]

Hey Hona, I will not be doing kissy face if CYPRIOTTURK is a boy.:)

[KalamityKel]

U sure? ;-)

[HonaloochieB]

karter Wrote:

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> Hey Hona, I will not be doing kissy face if

> CYPRIOTTURK is a boy.:)

Now, stop that Karter, this is 2009 and if I say you do kissyface, then do so, regardless of gender.

I'll put this down to you being overexcited as it's your birthday.

[dulwichmum]

OHMYGOD ????,

That line was low. How very upsetting that the execution of a role involving the care of vulnerable and sick people in a professional capacity (I believe) can lead to such vile innuendo.

Shame on you. Nurses deserve all the support they can get, they certainly don't get paid a whole lot for it.

[????]

Oh I apologise DM, in fact retract, in my experience nurses are not worth pursuing romantically, in the highly unlikely event you even bump into them on a night out they will inevitably retire to bed (alone) by 10.30pm sober......

[Keef]

Out of interest, can someone give us an idea what a nurse does get paid (obviously this will vary).

People, me included, are always going on about poorly paid nurses, but I have just realised I don't actually know what they get paid.

[hannahspanner]

I believe the wage for a newly qualified nurse in London, including London living allowance is about ?24,000, it also depends on the amount of unsocial hours each nurse works.

[Keef]

May get beasted for this, but ?24k for newly qualified doesn't seem that bad. :-S

[georgia]

It has improved (slightly). When I started as a newly-qualified nurse I was paid ?12 000 (not London but still pretty crap after 3 years training and with a degree).

[zephyr]

newly qualified a nurse would expect to get a basic pay of ?20,225 (NHS Pay Review Body Band 5). As hannahspanner said there is London Allowance which is 20% if in inner London (the hospital where you work. For comparison I work St George's in Tooting which is classed as Inner London.

This would be for a nurse who has done 3 years training.

Pay Scales

Referring to the payscales above a denior ward sister would be on a Band 7 and a matron would be on a band 8 (range A). In the olden days you used to progress to the next step within your band (or grade then) just by being there another year. Now it is different and you have to show that you have develped sufficiently to be allowed to move to the next rung in the band.

These payscales are the same for virtually all staff in the NHS now (not doctors) including physios, maintenance staff, midwives, clerical staff etc

[Marmora Man]

Keef Wrote:

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> Out of interest, can someone give us an idea what

> a nurse does get paid (obviously this will vary).

>

> People, me included, are always going on about

> poorly paid nurses, but I have just realised I

> don't actually know what they get paid.

Starting rates are about ?24K on qualification and can rise to in excess of ?50K $60 at the Matron / Senior Ward Sister / Clinical Specialist level. I have heard of a couple on more than ?100K - bvut they've sold their souls to the devbil and gone into administration / management Given an average salary of, I believe, ?27K that's not too bad - tho' the stresses of the job can be appalling - not the patients but the burdensome bureaucracy that gets in the way of treating the patients.

[????]

What Keef said - Nurses do a very important job to society (on the whole wellish)....but.....awaits beasting......?24k + overtime and subsidised bits and bobs compares extremeley well for other jobs where the starting requirement is 6 CSE passes....of course, Nurses, like Teachersm, tend to be put on a pedestal and are above any criticsim (not through their own choice I hasten to add)

[Jah Lush]

???? Wrote:

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> Oh I apologise DM, in fact retract, in my

> experience nurses are not worth pursuing

> romantically, in the highly unlikely event you

> even bump into them on a night out they will

> inevitably retire to bed (alone) by 10.30pm

> sober......

Not the ones I've been out with. ;-)

[Keef]

tho' the stresses of the job can be appalling - not the patients but the burdensome bureaucracy that gets in the way of treating the patients.

Replace "patients" with "pupils" or "service users", and you've just described pretty much any public service job.

[zephyr]

???? Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What Keef said - Nurses do a very important job to

> society (on the whole wellish)....but.....awaits

> beasting......?24k + overtime and subsidised bits

> and bobs compares extremeley well for other jobs

> where the starting requirement is 6 CSE

> passes....of course, Nurses, like Teachersm, tend

> to be put on a pedestal and are above any

> criticsim (not through their own choice I hasten

> to add)

A tad unfair. Nursing is now a degree (though some places offer a DipHE with a BSc top up) so the entry requirements are as they are for university (cos thats where they are taught).

Point of information - nurses do not get paid overtime - I wish! They (like a number of other professions) get enhancements for working unsocial hours i.e. night duty

It is also fucking hard work

[dulwichmum]

Also, if employed as a community matron (qualified Registered Nurse with BSc with post graduate diploma qualification as a District Nurse so at least four years training in total) in most London Boroughs, you only get AFC grade 7 (I have never ever heard of a Community Matron getting an AFC 8), and that is with five years post graduate experience. These posts are very thin on the ground. I think that the pay scales are frightful for the work they do.

[Jimbob]

Keef Wrote:

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> tho' the stresses of the job can be appalling -

> not the patients but the burdensome bureaucracy

> that gets in the way of treating the patients.

>

> Replace "patients" with "pupils" or "service

> users", and you've just described pretty much any

> public service job.

only pupils and service users don,t normally have a tendency to experience life saving procedures or on occasion die on you.