I think I'm in love with HonaloochieB

[HonaloochieB]

Ted Max Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> The thing about cucumber relish is maintaining the

> textural integrity of the cucumber, against the

> mush-inducing salt and tang of the vinegar and

> onion. I have no idea who or what Bix was, but if

> they managed that in a commercial product then I

> mourn their passing as I would that of a friend's

> beloved aunt that I have never personally met.

>

> But rethinking this, given this is your brain

> we're talking about Hona (85% rock 'n' roll, 15%

> "something in the rag trade", 5% Peroni) I'd

> recommend something milder. Perhaps a soothing

> raita.

And Ted this is what Bix's achieved, one would often get a slight 'squeak' on the tooth as the skin from the cucumber rubbed against it.

Raita, you reckon? Lovely.

[HonaloochieB]

Moos Wrote:

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> Blimey, just caught up with this thread. I'm now

> going to have to say I was joking, in case TLS

> sues me for libel.

>

> I'm not a big user of emoticons, I personally

> think they make the joke less funny.

That's OK Moos, thanks to yours and Ted's involvement I can now negotiate an absolutely enormous salary and all the fringe benefits I fancy.

And the brain business, I'm not using most of it all the time anyway hardly, so...oh look a bee.

[Moos]

Hona that was so funny, I might have to form a consortium with RosieH and put a bid in for you. Rosie, what do you say?

I would feed you honey and give you a selection of hats to play with.

[bigbadwolf]

If hona was my pet I'd abuse him, with a cucumber!

[RosieH]

I have several cash pounds, I can de-seed and skin a cucumber and have many a fine hat to add to the selection.

I'M IN BABY

[bigbadwolf]

I'd also give him a barb wire collar.

[Mikecg]

Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Mikecg Wrote:

> As ever I don't have a clue what the hell you are

> on about?. *Stares into space vacantly wondering

> WTF*

>

> Hona is an acquired taste.

>

> Would you like to acquire him?

>

> p.s. Personally I would like to keep him as a pet,

> in a cage naturally, feed him, buy him new sandals

> or a new dufflecoat occassionally, and, in return,

> for his bed, board and cage he would entertain me

> all day with his amusing anecdotes, vivid

> vignettes and fabulously fertile imagination.:)

All I can say TLS is I should avoid him like the plague really, He is the human equiv of R2D2 so I think I'll leave this aquisition to tender, the main reason being I dont think I have the time or the stomouch to read the HB hand manual that comes with him.

[bigbadwolf]

That was actually quite funny Mike.

[HonaloochieB]

So on the one hand it's honey and hats, on the other it's cucumber insertion and barbed wire restraint.

This one's a no-brainer.

[bigbadwolf]

Especially since most of your has been served up on Ted Max's plate.

[Mikecg]

See what I mean?.

[Ted Max]

It's a dark world, the cucumber subculture. Not everyone can handle it. Witness the cucumber screw.

http://www.kitchenaria.com/images/uploads/cucumber_spiral_cutter.jpg

[bigbadwolf]

Looks pretty medieval Ted.

[Mikecg]

It's the speed at which the device was presented that has baffled me.

[bigbadwolf]

Yeah, I wonder what else he's got up his sleeve.

[Ted Max]

http://www.camillasring.co.uk/SPONG%20MINCER.jpg

[bigbadwolf]

Is that all?

[Ted Max]

http://www.kitchencontraptions.com/archives/pictures/d_855.jpg

[Mikecg]

It's starting to look like the tool kit George Roper used in the film The Devils staring Ollie Reed.

[Moos]

TedMax, you forgot

You lent it to Mikecg last week, he asked me to give it back to you.

[Mikecg]

And might I add every brazen hussy that came into contact with it left my house a gibbering wreck.

[Ted Max]

What is this used for?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_AGm7EQe9boE/SbDzxH-rKfI/AAAAAAAADvY/n71coqWfaTg/s400/IMG_4525.jpg

[Mikecg]

I think it's one of those DIY wood turning lathes but not quite sure.

[bigbadwolf]

Did you sing for them then Mike?

[Mikecg]

Who?