First posters

[El Pibe]

I think you're a great example of how with engagement and good humour you can come from total newcomer to established stalwart in a matter of days maxxi!!

[DulwichFox]

Hi KRoff..

There is always an element of resentment by some when someone new posts here.

It's a throwback to the old School Playground Bully days.

Anyone new / different can get a hard time here.

Seeming intelligent people seem to adopt a very defensive attitude to others invading

there territory.

Bit like a lone football supporter going into a pub full of rival supporters.

Its a bit strange that people who welcome the coming of new businesses to the area,

adopt a very different attitude to new/first time posters on EDF.

Feel free to have your say, even if you express a conflicting view to others.

The lounge is for discussion. People need to discuss things without getting personal.

This is a very small forum..

I belong to FLASH KIT Community.. A technical forum with global membership

It does have a Lounge and is a very friendly and interesting place.

There are 29 sections

Threads: 722,830

Posts: 3,695,339

Members: 595,614

There are some very technical people on Flash Kit but there is 'Newbie' section

where people learning to program can ask the simplest of questions without being ridiculed.

Its a friendly place.

This place could take a leaf out of their book.

DulwichFox

[Penguin68]

Otta

Apology willingly accepted - I needed to clarify anyway what might appear annoying and irritate old hands when seeing new users' posts. Obviously some topics are (very reasonably) refreshed as circumstances change, and reviving long dead threads can be less than helpful.

DFox - I'm not sure I've ever resented, or even noticed, new users, unless they either say they are or (by the nature of their post) make me check. The people who think that this is 'a local forum for local people' (OK, I know it is, but the League of Gentlemen reference is I hope obvious) must be relatively few and far between.

[RosieH]

DulwichFox Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hi KRoff..

>

> There is always an element of resentment by some

> when someone new posts here.

>

> It's a throwback to the old School Playground

> Bully days.

I call bullshit!

I don't really post much anymore, I still check in from time to time, mostly to see about new places opening. Used to post a lot and it's true there was a clique, and in the manner of the one who smelt it dealt it, it was usually the ones who denied it that were part of it. But there was no nastiness in it, just a group of people who'd become friends in the real world as well as online, and the banter that comes with that.

I recall what was possibly my first post being something about swastikas being painted on bus stops. I didn't post out of outrage or an intent to alarm, it just intrigued me. I seem to recall *Bob* shot me down. I thought, I'm never posting to those cunts again. Now I have a massive forum crush on *Bob* and consider some of the old clique my friends. There were also times when I had bitter rows with clique members, some of whom were also my friends, and it can be hurtful, because it's hard at times to separate the person from the opinion.

But if you're going to post online, you need to deal with it. People with thin skins should avoid having opinions on the internet. It's pretty tame here, most places are FAR worse, and even the softie pinko Guardian's comments section can get vicious (largely because it's populated by non Guardian readers spoiling for a fight). It's social media innit.

[first mate]

I think it's a lot tamer than it used to be,espcially since some of the big beasts of the forum (Hugo et al) have retired or wandered off to other virtual hunting grounds.

Most people get the odd pasting but you do find that any real nastiness and others will normally help you out. Go on, have a post or two, you might be pleasantly surprised.

[Loz]

So after flouncing out a while ago, Blah Blah suddenly reappears as if by magic on a thread by a 'new poster' with a similar MO.

Couldn't be more obvious if they tried.

[aquarius moon]

Me, Louisa & Loz in the same clique?!

I feel honoured ;-)

[Louisa]

El Pibe I feel flattered you would call a washed up EDF veteran such as myself "forum royalty" - I'm hoping this was said with tongue firmly cemented to cheek!!! :)

I do love how this new thread has once again created an almost self congratulatory EDF "Oscars" style pat on the virtual back. Have we finished talking about ourselves yet? No? Good, I want it to go on forever it makes me feel warm inside.

Louisa.

[Blah Blah]

For the last time Loz, you are WRONG. Get over it. Or are you trying to deliberately provoke me again?

[Otta]

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> There were also times when I had

> bitter rows with clique members, some of whom were

> also my friends, and it can be hurtful, because

> it's hard at times to separate the person from the

> opinion.

This is very true (the separating person / opinion bit).

[Blah Blah]

This is my experience of this forum.

I joined about a week ago (not a while, as Loz claims). I post on a thread about the sad death of a man in Sydenham Woods and no-one minds. I post on thread about vegans (because I'm a vegetarian) and no-one minds. I post on a thread for a prospective conservative for MP and all hell breaks lose, simply because I and others (in my opinion rightly so) want to ask questions that touch on current conservative policy. This person is seeking to be an MP, not a local councillor. I stood my ground without being rude to anyone and Loz butts in, like he's some forum big cheese and I stand up to him. Now I can't post for him writing crap that I'm a troll. Is that how it's going to be Loz?

THAT's how those people welcome new members to the forum. Btw Loz, in that genius brain of yours, did it not occur to you that this thread has hit a chord with me, and that's why I'm posting on it? Of course not, you just want to have a go don't you Sherlock.

This experience is a perfect example of why many people have little good to say about debate on here.

[????]

All been said before (making a clear cliques play there you see)

But Wot Rosie said.

Forums and open bits of the internet. particulary the Lounge type area aren't really for too sensitive types. This place is an absolute pussycat compared to most. Very civil in relative terms.

The only time I ever get really propa upset/angry on here is actually with people I know. Poeople I don't I'm far less bothered about what they say about me unless it's gross missrepresentation.

Some posters have a persona online most don't but I'm in the former group as I think most people who know me realise....

People who have been posting 7+ years on here have in many cases actually met and even if not feel like they know each other are by definition form some kind of a clique and there's nothing they or new posters can do about that but people still join and join that clique over time too. I love the tear ups on here as do most observers I speak to locally....alyways get a bit uncomfortable when people I know outside of the EDF in SE22 say, "are you Quids on the forum?" which has happened a few times now

Boring place with no trolls, contrarians, independent minded, cliched, guardianista, libeteraian, capitalist, socialist, middcle class, working class tossers

Anyway, I always stuck up for UDT

Finally, i still don't say anything on here that I wouldn't to anyones face

[Loz]

aquarius moon Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Me, Louisa & Loz in the same clique?!

>

> I feel honoured ;-)

I've never been in a clique before. What is one supposed to do?

[steveo]

Tell the truth Blah Blah, the reason you haven't flounced is because you're enjoying the discourse.

Look at you, using the forum.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Otta Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What happened to Gingerbeer?

Gingerbeer, posting from the USA, asking questions re living in ED and got roasted as being the latest iteration of a regular Forum Troll.

She wasn't said Troll, she was a real person, who survived the abuse by those who should know better and lived in our midst for a year while she completed her Masters at Goldsmiths. She drank with us, became a fan of Leicester Tigers and was, and is, a jolly good egg. GB recently popped back for a vacation (as they say in those parts) and Help-Ma-Boab and I enjoyed beers and a curry with her.

Some long serving and very regular Forumites were left somewhat shame-faced.

[El Pibe]

I said sorry, in real life and everyfink ;)

[Otta]

Ah, I remembered that Gingerbeer was an American, but had forgotten the rest of it.

[maxxi]

Michael, Michael, she's gone... get over it man, sheesh.

[Sue]

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> But if you're going to post online, you need to

> deal with it. People with thin skins should avoid

> having opinions on the internet.

I'm afraid this is true.

Even if you consider you have a reasonably thickish skin you may find you are more sensitive than you think :(

I tend to have strong opinions, and I too wouldn't say anything on here that I wouldn't say to somebody's face.

I'm "out" on here (in the sense that it's easy to find out who I am in non-forum life), but most people aren't. And being subject to a personal attack on a forum by somebody who you wonder if it's somebody you have met in real life but you have no idea who they are is really quite horrible.

Sorry, that was very ungrammatical :)

[edhistory]

James Barber Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Every year we aim to knock on every East Dulwich

> ward door - circa 5,200. So we speak to a lot of

> residents every year.

> I often get people telling me they view the forum

> but from their feedback only about 1 in 10 say

> they ever post anything on the forum. Generally

> the feedback is they don't want the negativity or

> even aggression they fear aimed at them. It's a

> real shame this aura exists. The forum could be

> even more successful without this fear.

I only speak to a few hundred people a year about the EDF.

I get similiar responses to Mr Barber

John K

[Pugwash]

There are people who sometimes deliberately set out to discredit a general post, We are all individuals with our own options. It is good to express an opinion but one must do it in away not to upset/offend/outrage others. I have had a few negative feedbacks - so what, it does not put me off posting here. It is a great forum. I do not post on Twitter and Facebook ( basically I am IT challenged) so this is my 'sounding box'

[LadyDeliah]

My first post, in a former incarnation, was jumping into a scrap with a load of dog-haters.

Blood and tears everywhere.

Met the main perpetrator of the anti-dog rhetoric a few weeks later and discovered he was a pussy cat in real life but an online wind-up merchant behind a key board.

Don't think I've got rattled much since then. What's written on here is often just someone amusing themselves for a bit while they clock up the hours at work. Don't take it seriously.

[Loz]

LadyDeliah Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Met the main perpetrator of the anti-dog rhetoric a few weeks later and discovered he was a pussy

> cat in real life

I don't know if you meant that, but that made me laugh out loud.

[LadyDeliah]

:-)

[Otta]

I am sometimes guilty of assuming that people will just know when I'm taking the p!ss and forget that quite often things get lost in text.