Getting dry at night...

[jennyh]

Hey

Daughter is nearly 4 and has asked if she can stop wearing her pull-ups at night so we want to support her in trying to get dry during the night. She has NEVER been dry at night, she always wees in her sleep but we have to start somewhere and she is eager to try hence thinking the time has come...

have done 4 nights now with mixed results. I have woken her to use the potty in her room at about 11pm on each occasion and then twice I have also woken her around 4/5am to use it. On the occasions when I only lifted her at 11 she then went on to wet the bed, once at 2.30 and once at 4. My question is whether I am supposed to stop lifting her and just let her wet the bed in the hope of teaching her the sensation? I feel like if I am waking her to wee then she isn't really learning anything??? I have reduced her drinks but perhaps I need to do so even more. I have also increased the frequency she uses the toilet during the day.

She isn't upset about wetting herself and I am not too fussed about all the washing and getting up in the night as I know we have to do this at some point.

Any tips gratefully received!

[jollymummy]

Hey JennyH,

As far as I know you can't really encourage dry nights as the ability to be dry results form the body producing a hormone called Vasopressin which inhibits urine production at night. When kids start to produce this in enough quantities to be dry is quite arbitrary. Lifting, ie putting kids on the loo while asleep/semi asleep, only reinforces the body's ease to urinate while asleep. It is often said it is better to completely wake the child so they are awake and urinating rather than urinating while asleep. It sounds like your daughter might not be ready to come out of pull ups if she is wetting the bed if you don't wake her 2/3 times during the night.

My son was over 5 before he was dry and night while my daughter is dry now at almost 4. Random ages but I just went with it when they started waking on a regular basis with a dry nappy.

Hope this has helped a bit.

[mybaby178]

We never did any lifting with either of our girls, just made sure that they went to the toilet just before bed.

The eldest was at least 4.5 before coming out of the night time nappy, whereas the youngest was 2 yrs 1 month and to this day hasn't wet the bed but does on occasions wake up at night time to go to the toilet.

[etta166]

I agree with everything that jolly mummy said. You really can't train night time dryness at a young age. One thing you can do is "bladder training" in the day. You need to make sure that her bladder is big enough to last all night, so it is important that she doesn't wee too frequently during the day. Her bladder needs to get used to being properly full (I don't mean bursting or uncomfortable, just as full as is reasonable for a 4 year old) during he day. Otherwise her body may be used to having a wee with only a small volume in the bladder and so it will do that at night as well.

But honestly, 4 is pretty young still. Most GPs wouldn't be concerned until closer to 8.

[jennyh]

Thanks everyone for all of your helpful comments, all are so welcome! To be honest I have no real idea how this is supposed to go so I am grateful. I am not fussed about it really and it wouldn't worry me if we forgot about for now, she just seems so proud of trying and I don't want to put her back in pull-ups if she will find it upsetting. I will approach slowly and see how it goes, but I won't be expecting any grand breakthroughs :)

Will take all of your tips, thank you.

[minder]

Like mybaby178 I've never deliberately woken any of my children to use a potty during the night. Just made sure they went to the toilet before bedtime.

[etta166]

http://www.uptodate.com/contents/bedwetting-in-children-beyond-the-basics

This looks very comprehensive advice on bedwetting.

[sunbob]

On the subject of not upsetting her going back to pull ups. Our daughter tried from age 5 - 5.5 and was just not ready. My other half came up with the idea of saying to her, start using pull ups again and have a chart. When we've ticked off 5 dry pull ups in a row in the morning try without again. Luckily she was very keen on this idea and didn't get upset. 6 months later now and we've only ever had 2 in a row and those few and far between.

[jennyh]

Ok that's great thank you. She was so tired when I woke her for a wee durin last night that I decided to put a pull up on her to avoid her getting too tired. This morning she came in sobbing that she had the pull ups on, so I was unsure how to continue from here! Like the chart idea, thanks.

[Peachpie]

My son was slow on the up take. We lead or carried him to the loo whilst he was virtually asleep every night, sometime between 9.30 and 11. Intermittently we stopped for 2/3 nights and then went back to lifting as we couldn't face changing beds at 3am. Eventually it all clicked sometime after 5 and a half.

[jennyh]

Thanks everyone. She has been so keen to stay out of the pull-ups so the last couple of nights we let her go without, I continued to wake her at 11ish (so she is conscious of the fact she is going to the toilet, we have a quiet conversation and she agrees she wants the toilet) and she hasn't wet for the rest of the night. I don't have any expectations of her to continue this and don't want to make it hard work so will keep watching it and knock it on the head if it gets tiring or upsetting at all.

[Jellybeanz]

I am against lifting, just not natural and exhausting for you!

Have heard awful stories about people remembering being lifted :(

Get brolly sheets and go for the waking when wet theory... It takes time like potty training but you'll get there x

[jennyh]

We've gone back to pull ups! She was getting tired when lifting and I was too. But she wet when I didn't lift her and only stayed dry when her drinks were heavily reduced which is clearly not a good thing! So I've managed to persuade her back into pull ups and will wait until she is naturally drier.

[Pickle]

My son was out of day nappies by 2.5, but it was after his 6th birthday that he became dry at night. We briefly tried lifting, but it didn't make a significant difference. One night he declared he was ready for pants, and that was it. I can count on one hand the number of times he's wet the bed in the two years since.

Middle child dry day and night at 2.5.

Third child out of day nappies by 2.5 but at 3 shows absolutely no sign of getting dry at night.

It happens eventually, just try to stay relaxed about it.

[jennyh]

Oh I definitely am relaxed. Wasn't my intention to get her dry particularly, she just wanted to try so I wanted to help her. Worth a shot but glad it seems to be calming down!