Professional Enquiries *cos we're good at what we do*

[mockney piers]

Ok, figured it's a chance to get EDF on the google knowledge base map.

For the most part in my job (IT development) I can just google a class or error and get a wealth of useful information.

But recently I've started upgrading stuff to reporting services 2008, SQL 2008 and I'm getting an average of no hits and no information, clearly I'm the only one doing this or no one can get anything to work and talk about it.

Yaw yawn etc.

Anyway, I figured we have thousands of intelligent people working in all sorts of professions and we might be a good resource to help each other in times of need, and mayhap a room to share this stuff might (or might not, fine fine, let it sink out of sight) be a good idea.

So when in need...is there a legal precedence for...how can I use linq to...dovetail joint the wrong way of going about...should I use butter or is a water based lube... etc this is the place to ask.

[mockney piers]

oookayyyyy

so can anyone tell me why, in SQL server, when trying to randomly get the Nth row from a table with

[pre]

WITH sentence AS

(SELECT

stuff,

row = ROW_NUMBER() OVER (ORDER BY Id)

FROM

SentenceType

)

SELECT

sen.stuff

FROM sentence sen

WHERE sen.row = (ABS(CHECKSUM(NEWID())) % 100) + 1 --random 1-100 this aint cryptography

[/pre]

and

[pre]

DECLARE @row INT

SET @row = (ABS(CHECKSUM(NEWID())) % 100) + 1 --random 1-100 this aint cryptography

;WITH sentence AS

(SELECT

stuff,

row = ROW_NUMBER() OVER (ORDER BY Id)

FROM

SentenceType

)

SELECT

sen.stuff

FROM sentence sen

WHERE sen.row = @row

[/pre]

they behave so very, very differently with the former utterly barmy and the latter working fine (but not how I want to do this)?

[Keef]

Yeah, I should have bought you a 4th pint!

[karter]

looks like he's had one too many already.

[mockney piers]

OK, got it.

In my first post it's calculating (ABS(CHECKSUM(NEWID())) % 100) + 1 against each row in the CTE, thus you will get as many (or as few) returned rows as you get coincidental matches between the (ABS(CHECKSUM(NEWID())) % 100) + 1 and the ROW_NUMBER.

Interesting I always thought the where clause was considered a static value applied to each row, not a row level value applied to each row. Hmm beware of any getdate() type stuff on a long running query I reckon.

One for the memory banks.

[*Bob*]

Your wife is certainly one lucky lady

[Brendan]

Very, very sad. I?ve seen so many go this way. The ambulance has been called. Perhaps we could whip together to send some flowers.

[mockney piers]

Thanks for your help everyone.

Right, I'm trying to write a romantic ditty with my own fair pen to get some violinists to play at my wife's romantic birthday dinner. Should I go with a minor scale for that romantic/melancholic intimacy or go with the majors for that get up and go celebratory tone of which she's so beloved?

Also should I learn how to play/write music too?

[Jah Lush]

Can you sing though Mockers?

[*Bob*]

Ah.. I know this one.

Waltz in F major, modulate to the dominant (finishing with a rallentando) - and then undo her bra strap and hope for the best.

[mockney piers]

Excellent advice, much indebted to you *Bob*.

See it wasn't a wholly terrible idea :-/

[Brendan]

Try this

Oh and don't forget

The minor fall

and the major lift

(Shamelessly plagiarised from the Daily Mash.)

EDIT: In accordance with the Prophecy.

[Mikecg]

Brendan thats a piano piece, I prefer Dm it's the sadest of all keys you know. Major keys are too up beat, minor keys envolke emotion

Im not a developer more of a unix sys admin/engineer if you ever get a problem with Solaris Linux networking disk managment Veritas or LVM clustering or shared storage patching ipmp basic scripting etc then I may be able to help you out

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

made me laugh Brendan

[Huguenot]

You punk sh*t you. ;-)

Some of us had to write bubble searches when there was nothing but assembly. We wrote the bloody code.

Don't imagine I was always a logical recidivist. The models you use to reduce data factories now were written by me and my peers in between writing 'Tron' for 'Computer & Video Games' Magazine, 1984. (Yes, I know, CVG now, you p*nces).

You go off to these blinking exam courses in '95 and think you own the debate.

I laugh in the face of your language compiler trap, if only because in my day you'd be staring at one million data points without a clue at rationalising them. Sod it. You'd be going 'load the stack...skim the stack', it's binary dontcha know?

Incidentally, you'll never find the result by potting code. You have to feel the result. Stroke the knowledge. Numbers are an art, not a science.

Signed Grumpy B@stard

[ruffers]

Can we ask "Corpus Christi, Trimble!?"

[bignumber5]

ELECTRICAL TYPES PLEASE HELP

replacing halogen down-lighter bulbs with LED's. Bulbs flicker but then go out, think I might need something called an LED driver - what is an LED driver, how does it work and where do i put it?

[woofmarkthedog]

Try LDL 0870 350 0080

www.ldlonline.co.uk

Product LDLDR01 or 02

Or Mister Resistor based in Fulham

W**F

[bignumber5]

Cheers woof, but I still don't really understand what I do with one of these driver things - does it need wiring into the light fittings? the ceiling? the fuse box? I'm an electrical numpty, so please can someone walk me through this?!

[woofmarkthedog]

Ok ...now don't take offense are you a DIY a "Don or Dunce"

it goes in between the fittings ( LED downlighters ) and the main supply, a bit like a transformer does on L.V so say 6 lights can run off the main feed, they are small enough to push through the hole cut out for the fittings. they do need to be accessible in case of later failure. Also they won't heat up like LV's

See inclosed instruction supplied with the items(Don) or hire a sparks (Dunce)

W**F

PS. Turn off power at the mains before starting any electrical work

[bignumber5]

cheers again - sounding more and more like something i need to get a man in for, rather than do myself...

[snorky]

bastard internet explorer keeps freezing and fading.. windows says it will see what the problem is , but invariably I hve to Ctl/Alt/Delete and kill the puppy - any ideas ?

[Mikecg]

Yes, you have a classic case of Microdross

Solution

Download Mozilla FireFox

Immediately if not sooner

[mockney piers]

I'd do a scan for any malware, bots etc, just in case; maybe time for a defrag too? What OS are you?

Although I love Firefox I find it more memory intensive than IE on the whole, and blows up more often, but then I suppose I have more extensions than most, some of which, like firebug, get under the covers somewhat.

I've found Google Chrome the quickest and lightest so far, but it's still in Beta form.

[Asset]

My computer was doing same thing snorky, after a few months of this behaviour it completely died. Couldn't economically be fixed as it was the 'motherboard' (isn't it always) so had to buy a new one. Beware imminent meltdown.