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Police use Tasers

jimmy two times

By jimmy two times
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woofmarkthedog

woofmarkthedog

Posted
Posted

A Tazer tale.


When I lived in Sussex there were the usual Townie casuals who loved a fight each & every week end, the main protagonist & persistent thug was one Mick Rule locally known as "Ruler" he loved a fight & a bit of ultraviolence so much he set up a club/ pub door security firm (as you could back in the day)so he could pick and choose his targets at leisure. What he really enjoyed more though was the stories & tales after, reliving each fight as if it were a movie & strangely he seemed to respect those who had given him a hiding back. "Yeah like geezer" & "cor that fella clumped me well 'ard" followed by plenty of "likes, an's, y'knows , kind off's, nah wot I meen,an awl that's" stupid really but compelling & brutally funny.


Later when things & time had moved ,then glassings ect were rare , rumors of The Tazer were around. People were starting to bring them in from the USA & no surprises they started to turn up in the wrong (though is there a right) hands. On one night out I bumped into the old firm & funnily enough the "Ruler" was there, though now leaner & somewhat more elegant suited and booted, architect type specs & an air of detachment, almost passable as a normal human being had you not known his form. Drinks flowed and the conversation ebbed & turned as it does when in such company to times gone by & tales of old debts unsettled and vengeance's re-kindled.


"Ere Woof, feast yer eyes on this" & in a shadowy area of the night club "Ruler" pulls out a black & yellow device, a Tazer yes no doubt but looked more like a tool for an electrician than a weapon of choice for a henchman.


"What in god's name are you carrying that for"


"To do some geezer, he done me in a club in Brighton so I'm gonna get im 'ere with this...Yeh volts 5000....

Well it's the wattage wot kills ya, but much voltage is very unpleasant too"


In these situations sometimes in hindsight you feel you should have left I know but the compulsion to see how this turns out is over riding & in those days well, fascinating.


The night rolled on and consumption of * & refreshing cold drinks grew and tallied, tempers frayed and bravado took over....

Well time slipped I was having such a blast , laughing and playing with the old crowd ,bad behavior followed bad behavior of course but good fun was being had.


Having such a time of it I nearly forgot natures call, so entering the Mens room I looked & saw down on the floor a suit , very wet sodden in what I realsed must be p*ss & beer & contained in that suit in a near coma lay "Ruler". A very sorry sight indeed but one of which I took every detail of into my head for later divulgences and it did I admit mildly amuse me.


What happened was he had gone to the toilet Tazer in hand itching to use it. Whilst having a p*ss the other guy , the enemy had come in , now as most men know being caught in such a way leaves you open and vunerable, it all started to kick off and "Ruler" saw his opportunity to use the Tazer.

Oh he did pull it's trigger indeed unleashing 5000 volts of electronic justice, sadly or brilliantly the other fella had his wits about him and span the hand ,Tazer and all and shoved poor ol' "Ruler" into the stainless steel urinal, metal meets liquid and one large shock backfires up the nearest connection & bear in mind he's having a p*ss at the time.


He never did live it down, I made sure of that but in one way hats off ...5000 volts up your pipe work & you live to laugh about it another day.........


Top banana....



W**F

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