B.T's Adam and Jane

[bigbadwolf]

So what's all the big fuss eh?

What or who are our stars of Britain's most nightmarish ad so desperate to tell their friends and family about.

Is there a baby on the way?

They're getting married?

The B.T engineer has finally turned up?

Who know's, but more importantly, why should we care?

I knew that they'd drag out this concept as far as possible creating another subliminal reality T.V drama for the working classes to lap up along with their bread and dripping.

The good news though is it has to end. But how should it end?

1) Adam and Jane get married and due to the savings they've made can afford to go on a super duper honeymoon without having to worry about the kids because they will never be far from a click away online.

They decide to go on a skiing holiday in the Alps and to mark the occasion Adam buys Jane a swanky new phone with the great deal and coverage given to him by B.T. Since Adam's absence due to that 'dream job' Jane has slipped into the habit of 'sorting herself out' with a marital aid so she sets the ring setting to 'rumble' so she can enjoy a little apres ski thrill.

Adam's goofing around with that new beard he's been sporting in the latest ad and generally taking on the piste. After a while they grow bolder and decide to try out one of the black runs. Halfway through the run Adam gets distracted by a far superior wench to the one he's now chained to and mistakenly goes off piste. Jane, sensing her man's distress makes haste to rescue him.

She finds him with a stupid grin on his face and a bruised ego but why let the fun end. They start rolling around in embrace whilst Adam makes his way south when all of a sudden Jane's revieving a text from the kids to tell her that they caught the B.T man 'sorting himself out' into Adam's underwear draw.

Then it dawns on her...

She's left the phone set to rumble!

This sismic interuption on behalf of her new phone has now triggered an Avalanche and it's heading straight for them!

Adam and Jane wake up in an air pocket 20 metres below the surface. They try to remain calm. They amazingly manage to make a standard network call through to the emergency services only to be cut off by B.T because they don't have any clause in their deal that says they can take advantage of the deal they've signed up to whilst underground.

Tempers and nerves start to fray. Jane tells Adam that she never liked his new beard in the first place and Adam retorts by accusing her of emotionally blackmailing him to leave his 'dream job'. She then states that her kids never liked him and that her ex had a bigger dick. Adam then confesses to the affair he's been having with her son behind her back.

They start to fight but eventually Adam beats her to death with his lucky Nokia 6110 that he keeps for good luck.

Back in the U.K the kids open a video message from Adam whilst summoning all the friends on M.S.N to come and see how much of a dick their new dad is. The joke is suddenly on them as they view Adam sordidly 'sorting himself out' over Jane's corpse in an ice cave.

2)They get married and have a baby and live happily ever after.

3)The baby comes out mixed race but Adam swallows his pride and accepts the role of her father. They call her Motorola.

[Strawbs]

I have come to love Adam and Jane and I am ashamed to admit it but let out a little squeal of excitement when they got engaged! Im sad I know!..

I'll go now...

[kpc]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

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> So what's all the big fuss eh?

>

Interestingly, in hypothesising (and fantasising) about the big fuss, you manage to use 613 words.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Sad story, actually.

They wanted to find the East Dulwich equivalent of Constable?s sunlit Suffolk and Wordsworth?s dramatic Lake District. The wild moors of Bront? country and Thomas Hardy?s ancient Wessex. Would they experience the bleak beauty of the Fens? The dramatic, rugged shoreline of Cornwall, or the gentle hills of the Cotswolds?

In their quest they visited tranquil East Dulwich.

It was then they encountered East Dulwich's own "S.E.22.(pel dem) Squad" and got involved in a mass gang brawl at the height of rush hour.

Adam and Jane were well-known as "Adam and Jane" the Stars of BT's succesful and intriguing advertising campaign, however, what the general public did not know was they were part of the notorious BTBlock (Pel Dem)Gang.

Their street names were "Ja-Ja" i.e. Adam and "Birdie" i.e. Jane.

Passers by were left stunned as the two groups set upon each other in Dulwich just before 5pm on Thursday.

It is believed a row may have started on a bus and then spilled out onto the street.

Police raced to the scene to find an older man with fatal knife wounds to his leg and a Woman who had been stabbed in her legs and arms and heart, wounds she was not to recover from.

Neither made it back to their hoods but Memorials have been put in place for Ja-Ja and Birdie of the BTBlock (pel dem) crew.

Maximum Respect to 2 fallen BT soldiers.

[bigbadwolf]

kpc Wrote:

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> bigbadwolf Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > So what's all the big fuss eh?

> >

>

> Interestingly, in hypothesising (and fantasising)

> about the big fuss, you manage to use 613 words.

Good God!!! You actually counted them. Bloody 'ell, I thought I was sad.

You live and learn.

[JetSetWilly]

i know what i,d like to do that fu(king anoying tw&t, and it involves shoving a bt home broadband hub up his crevice sideways.

[louisiana]

No idea who Adam and Jane are.

Do I not watch enough telly?

Gotta say, any telly is too much telly these days.

[bigbadwolf]

Don't lie to us Louisiana.

[kpc]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

>

> Good God!!! You actually counted them. Bloody

> 'ell, I thought I was sad.

>

> You live and learn.

Nah, let Microsoft count them for me. Not actually going to deny the bit about being sad though.

[sophiesofa]

Strawbs Wrote:

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> I have come to love Adam and Jane and I am ashamed

> to admit it but let out a little squeal of

> excitement when they got engaged! Im sad I

> know!..

>

> I'll go now...

How do you know they're engaged? Have I missed an ad? Last one I saw was the one where they phoned everyone and the people on the other end jumped up and down. My money was on a bun in the oven.

[bigbadwolf]

My money's on that Adam's balls have dropped.

[louisiana]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

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> Don't lie to us Louisiana.

I'm a 100% Tivo girl these days, I'm afraid. That means little telly (only my chosen stuff, once a week or so) and no ads at all.

[daizie]

oh no! not them! the most plain , smug couple , irritating at the very least .

[Strawbs]

sophiesofa Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Strawbs Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > I have come to love Adam and Jane and I am

> ashamed

> > to admit it but let out a little squeal of

> > excitement when they got engaged! Im sad I

> > know!..

> >

> > I'll go now...

>

>

> How do you know they're engaged? Have I missed an

> ad? Last one I saw was the one where they phoned

> everyone and the people on the other end jumped up

> and down. My money was on a bun in the oven.

That was the engaged one, if you read her lips she says something like 'asked me to marry him' or similar.. bun in the oven will be soon but there must be going to be another in between!! I hope..

[purplenormy]

Absolutely hilarious. Love it!