Sex Therapist Available in SE22 (post removed)

[LegalEagle-ish]

I was just thinking that seeing as how I've always been a bit of a slag and know more about sex and how to have multiple squirty orgasms than most people alive, I should pass this valuable knowledge on to others.

If anyone wants to know how to have the kind of full-on orgasmic sex I was addicted to for years then they can pay me ?100 an hour to teach them.

I am actually serious about this. I will help women or couples, men can take their arses off to Soho cos I won't deal with single guys, sorry.

If you want me to give you a bit of help PM me.

[LegalEagle-ish]

I wondered where this had got to. Don't know why it was lounged, do you think admin thought I was joking around or something?

[woofmarkthedog]

Oh Damn

We live in SE26....................so close but so far

Oh well.

W**F

[Ladymuck]

OK...I'm just BUSTING to know...have you had many PMs on THIS?

[Ladygooner]

Maybe you could do a workshop at the next EDF drinks?:-$

[bigbadwolf]

What I'd like to see is the deluge of private messages genuinely asking for advice and instruction Legal started recieving right after she posted the thread.

Perhaps you should advtise your particular service in the village Legal as I'd imagine there's a massive swinging scene full of middle aged women with nothing better to do than dream of entertaining the Alleyns 6th form rugby club.

[daizie]

Leagle, i'd come along , but i dont have a man , as soon as i find one we'll be round at yours ;-)

[Ladymuck]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What I'd like to see is the deluge of private

> messages genuinely asking for advice and

> instruction Legal started recieving right after

> she posted the thread.

Yes - me too...couldn't you at least give us FIGURES...

>

> Perhaps you should advtise your particular service

> in the village Legal as I'd imagine there's a

> massive swinging scene full of middle aged women

> with nothing better to do than dream of

> entertaining the Alleyns 6th form rugby club.

Ooh you are naughty bigbadwolf...(sniggers quietly behind her hand)

[HAL9000]

I've just set up a pairing up service for single forumites to enable them to participate in Legal's Multiple Squirty Orgasm lectures, demonstrations, advanced orgies and graduation love-fest. The charge is ?100 per matched pair. Please PM me for payment details.

--------------------

Yes - I'm only kidding!

[Ladymuck]

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I've just set up a pairing up service for single

> forumites to enable them to participate in Legal's

> Multiple Squirty Orgasm lectures, demonstrations,

> advanced orgies and graduation love-fest. The

> charge is ?100 per matched pair. Please PM me for

> payment details.

>

>

> --------------------

> Yes - I'm only kidding!

I think you should take out the "Yes - I'm only kidding!" bit just to see if you have any takers! Go on...I DARE YOU!

[HAL9000]

That's just my new sig. Pay no mind to it - just send me the money.

[HAL9000]

Come on boys and girls: step up, step up - make her kick your arse!

[Ladymuck]

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> That's just my new sig. Pay no mind to it - just

> send me the money.

HAL9000! I think I've just pissed myself (laughing)!

Oh my goodness, I think I'm also having a hot flush...dearie me, I need a lie down...

Anyway HAL9000, you of ALL people should know that I have a very nice bit of "black pudding" at home who has kept me very happy for the last 30odd years! (God, I hope he doesn't see this - he'd be appalled at my lack of discretion)!

[daizie]

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I've just set up a pairing up service for single

> forumites to enable them to participate in Legal's

> Multiple Squirty Orgasm lectures, demonstrations,

> advanced orgies and graduation love-fest. The

> charge is ?100 per matched pair. Please PM me for

> payment details.

>

>

> --------------------

> Yes - I'm only kidding!

HAL9000, I do hope you will only be supplying quality . I am fed up dating men with mutliple inadequacies . Do we get a butchers first before we cough up the dough ? ;-)

[HAL9000]

Just in case he does - I'm not saying anything else. If anyone asks, my account was hacked!

[HAL9000]

Quality assured - I've just taken on an assistant with 30 odd years experience as a black-pudding tester.

[bigbadwolf]

Ladymuck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> bigbadwolf Wrote:

> > Perhaps you should advtise your particular

> service

> > in the village Legal as I'd imagine there's a

> > massive swinging scene full of middle aged

> women

> > with nothing better to do than dream of

> > entertaining the Alleyns 6th form rugby club.

>

>

> Ooh you are naughty bigbadwolf...(sniggers quietly

> behind her hand)

Yes, I can be naughty your ladyship, but I've admittedly got an incredibly filthy mind.

You can just picture the 'scrum' going into 'extra time' thanks to the newly aquired skills of a lady of leisure.

[Ladymuck]

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Quality assured - I've just taken on an assistant

> with 30 odd years experience as a black-pudding

> tester.

GASP! (but just pissed myself again)

Yes, I would confirm that it's very good - why do you think there's always such a long queue outside William Rose!

[HAL9000]

What with Legal's kick-arse orgasms and LadyM's 'pussy fotos' - we've got something for almost everyone here tonight.

Anyone care to donate a jam-jar and a pound of liver?

[LegalEagle-ish]

Ok guys - I have had a few PM's and I can say that all contents are covered by the confidentiality owed by a professional such as myself, so go buy The Star if you want cheap titilation, because you won't get that from me (I charge ?100 per hour incase you've forgotten).

I'd also like to say I am kind of serious about this. I have had a lot of good lovers and my squirty orgasms were very popular (luckily for me!) so I have had a lifetime of good sex. I am a true feminist too and believe that all women deserve mind blowing orgasms and being worshipped as sexual Goddesses.

Men need re-training and women need to understand how their bodies work. Maybe this is something I could help with.

[daizie]

Legal so is this 'saying' true . 'There is no such thing as a frigid woman, just an inadequate man ' ?

[HAL9000]

At the risk of sounding naive - who was doing the 'squirty' bit, you or your lover or both of you?

[LegalEagle-ish]

Err, I did most of it.

Inadequately trained Daizie, not really their fault if no-one tells them where the g-spot and the clitoris are.

[HAL9000]

My last partner had little labels in all the right places. But they fell off when I accidentally over inflated her.

[LegalEagle-ish]

That can be a problem. I think permanent marker is a better option.