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I was just thinking that seeing as how I've always been a bit of a slag and know more about sex and how to have multiple squirty orgasms than most people alive, I should pass this valuable knowledge on to others.


If anyone wants to know how to have the kind of full-on orgasmic sex I was addicted to for years then they can pay me ?100 an hour to teach them.


I am actually serious about this. I will help women or couples, men can take their arses off to Soho cos I won't deal with single guys, sorry.


If you want me to give you a bit of help PM me.

What I'd like to see is the deluge of private messages genuinely asking for advice and instruction Legal started recieving right after she posted the thread.


Perhaps you should advtise your particular service in the village Legal as I'd imagine there's a massive swinging scene full of middle aged women with nothing better to do than dream of entertaining the Alleyns 6th form rugby club.

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What I'd like to see is the deluge of private

> messages genuinely asking for advice and

> instruction Legal started recieving right after

> she posted the thread.



Yes - me too...couldn't you at least give us FIGURES...

>

> Perhaps you should advtise your particular service

> in the village Legal as I'd imagine there's a

> massive swinging scene full of middle aged women

> with nothing better to do than dream of

> entertaining the Alleyns 6th form rugby club.



Ooh you are naughty bigbadwolf...(sniggers quietly behind her hand)

I've just set up a pairing up service for single forumites to enable them to participate in Legal's Multiple Squirty Orgasm lectures, demonstrations, advanced orgies and graduation love-fest. The charge is ?100 per matched pair. Please PM me for payment details.



--------------------

Yes - I'm only kidding!

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I've just set up a pairing up service for single

> forumites to enable them to participate in Legal's

> Multiple Squirty Orgasm lectures, demonstrations,

> advanced orgies and graduation love-fest. The

> charge is ?100 per matched pair. Please PM me for

> payment details.

>

>

> --------------------

> Yes - I'm only kidding!



I think you should take out the "Yes - I'm only kidding!" bit just to see if you have any takers! Go on...I DARE YOU!

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> That's just my new sig. Pay no mind to it - just

> send me the money.


HAL9000! I think I've just pissed myself (laughing)!


Oh my goodness, I think I'm also having a hot flush...dearie me, I need a lie down...


Anyway HAL9000, you of ALL people should know that I have a very nice bit of "black pudding" at home who has kept me very happy for the last 30odd years! (God, I hope he doesn't see this - he'd be appalled at my lack of discretion)!

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I've just set up a pairing up service for single

> forumites to enable them to participate in Legal's

> Multiple Squirty Orgasm lectures, demonstrations,

> advanced orgies and graduation love-fest. The

> charge is ?100 per matched pair. Please PM me for

> payment details.

>

>

> --------------------

> Yes - I'm only kidding!


HAL9000, I do hope you will only be supplying quality . I am fed up dating men with mutliple inadequacies . Do we get a butchers first before we cough up the dough ? ;-)

Ladymuck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> bigbadwolf Wrote:


> > Perhaps you should advtise your particular

> service

> > in the village Legal as I'd imagine there's a

> > massive swinging scene full of middle aged

> women

> > with nothing better to do than dream of

> > entertaining the Alleyns 6th form rugby club.

>

>

> Ooh you are naughty bigbadwolf...(sniggers quietly

> behind her hand)



Yes, I can be naughty your ladyship, but I've admittedly got an incredibly filthy mind.


You can just picture the 'scrum' going into 'extra time' thanks to the newly aquired skills of a lady of leisure.

HAL9000 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Quality assured - I've just taken on an assistant

> with 30 odd years experience as a black-pudding

> tester.



GASP! (but just pissed myself again)


Yes, I would confirm that it's very good - why do you think there's always such a long queue outside William Rose!

Ok guys - I have had a few PM's and I can say that all contents are covered by the confidentiality owed by a professional such as myself, so go buy The Star if you want cheap titilation, because you won't get that from me (I charge ?100 per hour incase you've forgotten).


I'd also like to say I am kind of serious about this. I have had a lot of good lovers and my squirty orgasms were very popular (luckily for me!) so I have had a lifetime of good sex. I am a true feminist too and believe that all women deserve mind blowing orgasms and being worshipped as sexual Goddesses.


Men need re-training and women need to understand how their bodies work. Maybe this is something I could help with.

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