Trapped in lift with a 'Celebrity' Chef?

[*Bob*]

Which of these 'celebrity' chefs would you least like to be trapped in a lift with?

Please state your reasons why.

Rhodes

Oliver

Ramsay

Worrall-T

Harriott

[Ted Max]

Rhodes is most likely to bore nasally on about how to produce the perfect mashed potato, whilst making you fantasise about slamming his thin head repeatedly between the lift doors.

Oliver would be OK if his incredibly stoned hippy gardener was with him. Otherwise, the chances of being exposed to air drumming and a lecture on responsible sourcing would be quite high.

Ramsay would get some poppers out of his jeans and try to bang seven shades out of you whilst asking you to tell him his name.

Wozza would initially not acknowledge your presence, and after a while try to blame the curdled milk smell emitting from his jeans on the air conditioning.

Harriott would attack you with his Jazz Hands and tales of the last time he was stuck in "Lottie Lift".

Answer: Ramsay

[DaveR]

Worrall T because he is a loathsome c**t who signally fails to conceal his grasping egomaniacal awfulness behind a wafer thin and unconvincing veneer of roister-doister matey bonhomie.

[Ted Max]

Good points, DaveR. I remember seeing a thing on TV with Rory McGrath, Griff R-J and Dara O'Brien recreating Three Men in a Boat - travelling up the Thames together and stopping off at various points. They dropped in on Wozza's house at some point.

This was probably before O'Brien got all his other TV gigs, and W-T clearly had no idea who he was. So he was stupendously rude to him, while sucking up to the other two. Quite revealing.

[bigbadwolf]

For some reason I've always seen Worrall T as the kind of person that has a purpose built panic room in case Ramsey comes round for tea and swearing.

[*Bob*]

I think it's got to be Worrall-T.

There's a mean streak running through him. And he looks a bit like a ginger chimp - in a bad way, I mean.

[Brendan]

Orangutan?

[Ted Max]

So as not to desecrate the Floyd thread. I read, ages ago, some memoir or auto-biog of his. It was the usual collection of cobbled together self-justificatory anecdotes ("needless to say I had the last laugh") and special pleading.

Even by his own admission, he was a serial bankrupt, leaving his investors and creditors in the lurch more than once. He came over as highly needy and demanding, prickly about the way the BBC and his producer/ director (David Pritchard, I think) had treated him - despite the fact that they had made him.

Still, he liked a drink.

[bigbadwolf]

How do you guys feel about food engineer Heston Blumenthal. Has he been on the scene long enough to put on the list. He's got the sort of face that leads me to believe that after he's subjected one of his aspiring kitchen staff to a "Gordonesque" tongue lashing, that he retires to the mens room and then masturbates. He probably phones his dad to tell him how it went. The telling off, not the tossing off. I hope.

[*Bob*]

Do you think Rhodes is as harmless as he seems?

[bigbadwolf]

I reckon Delia is a boss in the bedroom. Or she screams a lot.

[bigbadwolf]

"Do you think Rhodes is as harmless as he seems?"

Good question *Bob*. When I was younger he once did an Uncle Ben's advert and he held one of the knives in his teeth at one point. Whatever that tells you about the man is entirely up to you, but I don't think it was in the script.

[Moos]

Have we considered autocrat and carefully engineered country bumpkin Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall?

[*Bob*]

You might get a few awkward silences, but I don't think Hugh has the same potential for irritation as the others in the list.

[bigbadwolf]

I can't really decide which comes first with HFW Moos. Cooking or animal rights.

[*Bob*]

cooking animals right

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

At least Hugh would know how to skin a lift engineer and get a freezer full of food out of him.

[bigbadwolf]

Yes he cooks animal *Bob* but if he burns the meat I wonder what he's most upset about , ruining the dish or killing an animal in vain.

I personally wouldn't be scared of him. Fair enough, he knows his way round a 12 bore but I think he prefers to rip carrots from the ground to calm himself down.

[JetSetWilly]

those boyos are a bunch of pussies, the one person i wouldn,t like to get stuck in a lift with is heston. 2 people in the lift and when it finally gets opened, theres one left, however he,s surrounded by a scrumptous array of cold meats, pates etc, hmmmmmm.

[*Bob*]

Come to think of it, I can think of no greater analogy for living in East Dulwich than that of being trapped in a lift with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.

[bigbadwolf]

Ha ha.

[Annasfield]

Chef: Floyd (about 20 years ago, but with me at the age I am now).

Reason: I used to quite fancy him

[HAL9000]

I'd like to be trapped in a lift with Nigella Lawson - I've long admired her dumplings.

[????]

Toss up between the odious WT or Rhodes......mmmmm I think Rhodes, a more hidden wrong'un than fatty but a wrong'un nevertheless

[Annasfield]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I reckon Delia is a boss in the bedroom. Or she

> screams a lot.

"Lets be having you"