Starship Enterprise

[Spartacus]

This is one of those questions that perplexes me

I have finally solved the question of where the toilet is on the starship enterprise (it is left behind the turbo life, first conduit and right again !!!)

but where on earth is the laundry room as a ship that size must start to smell after a while if they don't wash those oh so retro yellow jumpers

Can anyone help solve this mystery ?

[HAL9000]

In the Star Trek universe, post-replicator starships do not have laundry rooms, silly. They recycle dirty uniforms via the anti-matter reactor and use the energy to replicate clean ones. Every cabin has an ensuite sonic shower and loo. The crew's poo is recycled into whatever else they require, including food.

Didn?t they teach you anything at Starfleet Academy, ensign Sparticus?

[Keef]

Who's going for a drink in 10 forward later?

[Moos]

I would, but I don't want to be lectured by Whoopi Goldberg.

[mockney piers]

Things not to say by the replicator - "new uniform please, ooh I think a nice red one today"

[woofmarkthedog]

Doesn't "wardrobe" just wash them after every days shoot, I mean there is no such thing as "The Enterpirse" is there Sparticus

You silly boy.

What next "Free Willy" in your bathtub ?........Hmmm

W**F

[Keef]

LIAR!

[Brendan]

Seriously, what are you on about woof?

No such thing as the Enterprise indeed

[bigbadwolf]

Has anyone ever noticed that none of the crew of any Starfleet vessel ever went for a shit. Or even expressed the desire to go for one either.

An amazing display of sexual restraint on behalf of the entire ships compliment as well. If I had counselor Troi under my command I'd be up her like a Ferret.

[bigbadwolf]

"I would, but I don't want to be lectured by Whoopi Goldberg."

I wouldn't want to be lectured by her either Moos. Nor would I like to drink 'synthahol' either. I've also always wondered what engaging the warp core would feel like after choking through a spliff as thick as my thumb.

[Muley]

"Replicator, I'm an obscure never-seen-before member of the Enterprise crew about to be beamed down to the surface of that unexplored planet with Kirk, Spock and Bones. My chances of survival are not looking great. I would like todays uniform to be bullet, laser beam and alien proof please..."

[bigbadwolf]

Captain Kirk did have the best mobile phone though. Seeing as he could get reception in any part of the universe. He never went through to voice mail either.

[mockney piers]

Plus teleporting.

If you're making a new version from a recorded version using all the same atoms as the old one. Can't you just bu the poor dead red shirted fella in one end and having a living version out the other from their buffers or whatever they call them?

[bigbadwolf]

Sorry Mockney but I didn't understand any of that. Iphone?

[Keef]

Very good point Mockney. Scotty appeared in an episode of Next Gen (think it was called relic), because he'd been "trapped" mid transport for x amount of years, yet materialised in good health. Surely then, they could just "save" a copy of you (which you'd update at regular intervals in order to keep memories current), then if you expired, you could be easily replaced.

[mockney piers]

It exists in the culture novels. You just back yourself up every now and then and if you die you have an identical body grown and you have your backup popped in, all you've lost are me

ories and experiences since your last backup.

Makes dramtic tension difficult when all that's at stake is the last 45 minutes of kirks wooden script delivery I suppose.

[Brendan]

?Orrible thing to loose your ories.

[bigbadwolf]

"Kirks wooden script delivery."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwZU7ATdUvY&feature=related

[mockney piers]

Cool, not that it needs parodying

wooden choreography

[woofmarkthedog]

Are the "Thunderbirds" real ?

I think they are aren't they, or am I mixing them up with "Stingray" I know it's one of them.

W**F

[EDKiwi]

mockney piers Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Cool, not that it needs parodying

> wooden choreography

Watch out, he's very slowly advancing on you!

[Spartacus]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Has anyone ever noticed that none of the crew of

> any Starfleet vessel ever went for a shit. Or even

> expressed the desire to go for one either.

>

> An amazing display of sexual restraint on behalf

> of the entire ships compliment as well. If I had

> counselor Troi under my command I'd be up her like

> a Ferret.

Two amazingly good questions

Number 1 (Scenario) the Borg are attacking, resistance is futile and yet not one hint of a trouser bellow is heard, or any indication of someone in the background screaming "Sod this I am off before I sh!t myself" How does that work then

Number 2 - Forget Troi ....Seven of Nine would make the crew stay up all night playing with their 'Gel Packs' or whatever

and don't get me started on inter-species procreation ... I mean do all aliens have 2 eyes, 2 legs, 2 arms and the same genitalia as us ?? Surely if they do then it indicates that there is a supreme being out there guiding the universe (and I am not talking Q) and speaking of which why do all aliens in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect American English ? I mean not one hint of a Jamican twang "yo cptn the ooomans are atacking but dis is one wicked spliff i is smoking man" I mean wouldn't that be as likely as American English....

At least I can still dream that Resistance is Futile and just submit to Seven's borg charms (Fnnnr Fnnnrr)

[bigbadwolf]

"And don't get me started on inter-species procreation ... I mean do all aliens have 2 eyes, 2 legs, 2 arms and the same genitalia as us ?? Surely if they do then it indicates that there is a supreme being out there guiding the universe (and I am not talking Q) and speaking of which why do all aliens in the Delta Quadrant speak perfect American English ? I mean not one hint of a Jamican twang "yo cptn the ooomans are atacking but dis is one wicked spliff i is smoking man" I mean wouldn't that be as likely as American English...."

Good God Spartacus. Do make sure not to leave anything out.

"At least I can still dream that Resistance is Futile and just submit to Seven's borg charms (Fnnnr Fnnnrr)"

I prefer to take my assimilated piece of science fiction arse by force thank you very much. Not succumb to their robotic suggestivity and knockers.

[Spartacus]

do you ever wonder if they have been enhanced especially for the show ? (i.e. false knocker pads added under the costume)

I could sit and ponder that for hours ::o

[bigbadwolf]

.