they are still doing it (parents leave child in car)

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

Alan - I was only 62% chav, so I seem to be some kind of hybrid chav and I got into the habit of abbreviating words from texting, trying to keep my message under the limit, so I wouldn't have to pay for another text on my pay-as-u-go phone. Why does buying a bargain bucket or getting a state education count towards chavdom by the way?

[Jah Lush]

I was only 13%. Does that make me a middle class ponce or an upper class twit?

[mockney piers]

Well I'm 40% Chav. Of course I take issue with some things.

Screw top wine will be more or less standard soon enough

Marks & Spencers food hall is ridiculously expensive whether you're stupid enough to pay for it or not.

Stella is a mark of middle classness? god help us all.

As most Benjy's congregate around the square mile that's an odd measure of chavosity

Jordan or Ms Price is very intelligent*

and there's nothing wrong with a pot noodle!!

*oops got that one wrong, plus she actually looks like she's plummeted down the uncanny valley

[James]

Had great fun doing that chav test Alan. But I reckon it confuses being thrifty with being a chav in places (eg. buying supermarket brand cola). Isn't it more chav to go for brand names? Or am I taking it all far too seriously... just for a change

[snorky]

51% chav.

state educashon / Rebrick Uni First degree/ posh Univesity postgrad work / Work in a suit.

oh dear

PS Benjis is bankrupt

[mockney piers]

state educashon / Rebrick Uni First degree/ even redder brick Univesity postgrad work / Worked in a suit (get in them for weddings now).

Benjy's rocks!

uncanny!!

[Jah Lush]

State education, School of hard knocks, University of Life, only wear a suit for weddings and funerals.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

I only just got my degree at a 'new' university, The University of Westminster, but was too smart to be arsed with all that boring kind of stuff when I was young!! Suit?? Only if I was in the dock!!

James - I think you are right about the name brand bit.

[snorky]

PS M&S machine washable suits are the bogs testicles for a working man who wants to spend only ?99 on a suit. A bit crackly wth static sometimes tho'

[Alan Dale]

76% - honestly. Maybe I should get a pitbull.

Agree that the test is flawed as most of my points are just for being a Northerner but I think it does indicate that CWALD is a misnomer.

Answers below for transparency:

The Chav Test

1. Have you ever purchased something from Co-op or Iceland?

Yes

2. Have you ever worn Burberry check?

No

3. Have you ever purchased a KFC family bucket?

Yes

4. Have you ever hung a pine fresh tree shaped air freshener on your rear view mirror?

Yes

5. Is your mobile phone on a 'pay as you go' tariff?

Yes

6. Have you ever gone to Pizza Hut on a date?

Yes

7. Are you into 'R & B'?

No

8. Have you ever eaten corned beef stew?

Yes

9. Have you ever worn jewellery from 'Elizabeth Duke' at Argos?

No

10. Have you ever looked into Ciro Citterio for a suit?

Yes

11. Have you ever eaten a pot noodle?

Yes

12. Do you call your Grandmother your 'Nan'?

No

13. Have you ever bought fresh cut flowers from a petrol station as a present?

Yes

14. Have you ever bought second class stamps?

Yes

15. Have you ever knowingly bought own brand cola?

Yes

16. Do you think Marks & Spencer's food hall is too expensive?

No

17. Have you ever taken a Stenaline Ferry anywhere?

Yes

18. Have you anything in your wardrobe which is at least 50% polyester?

No

19. Do you dream of souping up your car and getting a spoiler?

Yes

20. Have you ever owned a pair of white Reebok Classic trainers?

Yes

21. Would you eat own brand baked beans?

Yes

22. Do you prefer Carling to Stella?

Yes

23. Have you ever referred to a sofa as a 'settee'?

Yes

24. Do you consider Jordan to be 'actually quite intelligent'?

No

25. Have you ever relieved a hotel room of its freebie shower gel or shampoo?

Yes

26. Have you ever drunk a can of lager you found on a train?

No

27. Have you ever offered to buy a cigarette from someone?

Yes

28. Have you ever brought a screw top bottle of wine to a dinner party?

Yes

29. Have you ever referred to pudding as 'dessert' or 'sweet'?

Yes

31. Have you ever removed a boiled sweet or gum and saved it for later?

Yes

32. Do you know anyone that has been on 'Trisha'?

No

33. Have you ever referred to a loo as a 'toilet'?

Yes

34. Have you ever worn a football shirt while not playing sport?

Yes

35. Have you ever bought a garden ornament from B & Q, ie stone squirrel, ornamental wheelbarrow etc

No

36. Can you name any characters from Footballers' Wives?

Yes

37. Have you ever erected a flashing snowman or fairy lights outside your house at Christmas?

Yes

38. Have you ever bought your lunch from Benjy's?

Yes

39. Do you have more than three buttons on any of your suits?

No

40. Have you ever visited a Little Chef or Happy Eater apart from to use the loos in desperation?

Yes

41. Have you ever cut out and used money off coupons from magazines?

Yes

42. Do you have 'tea' as your evening meal?

Yes

43. Are the toes on your shoes square?

No

44. Do you know any straight men who wear earings?

Yes

45. Has your mobile phone ring-tone ever been a Top 40 hit?

Yes

46. Was your education paid for by the tax-payer?

Yes

[snorky]

46. Was your education paid for by the tax-payer?

Yes

One of my proudest achievements.

[mockney piers]

I've a feeling [19. Do you dream of souping your car up with a spoiler] has some sort of extra weighting.

Thems the breaks Alan.

Really though, your Toyota Prius would look silly with the blue neon underlighting.

[Alan Dale]

It's a 1990 golf and all I want is air con and power steering for the missus but that's because it already has blue indicators, alloys and chrome interior accessories.

Cost ?780 from a bloke with one leg. Again this is 100% true.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

Alan - maybe I should rename myself ChavishWivaLawDegree. Ex-ChavWivaLawDegree would seem like I am a social-climber, when I have no intention of ever becoming socially acceptable to polite society.

SeanMG - Drinks on you then?? Impressed you met the mighty Mr Hicks

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

I'm going to start selling some tasteful white T-shirts with Burberry print writing on declaring 'Proud to Be Chav' and 'Chav Power' for a tenner a pop. Any takers?

[Asset]

27% chav

[Jonboy]

Chavvy enough to scare myself.

CWALD - cool blog, also great news that your daughter has married Didier Drogba!

[Alan Dale]

Some of these scores are ridiculously low. I suspect people are being dishonest.

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

Jonboy - yeh but wanted to send him packing when he signed for Chelsea.

[Jonboy]

Understandable. I think many parents would feel the same.

[Asset]

Alan Dale - I do hope you would not be casting aspersions.

[Alan Dale]

I'm afraid I might be. Please could someone with a sub 20% score post their answers for scrutiny?

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

Jonboy - as a life-long Everton fan, it just seemed wrong

[Asset]

whew, let's me off the hook. I think it's only Jah at 13%.

[clare]

Piers- well done for getting to the end of The Book of Dave. I am stuck very near the beginning. It is worth the struggle?

Sean- Clare /Claire -you are absolutely right-completely different names. I didn't think the post was referring to me (Clare) until I went back after you drew my attention to the spelling. A bit sad really .Is it the same for you with Shaun/Shawn ?