Very USA maybe not believable but quite funny.

[Chick]

How do these people survive?

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO

I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

[legalbeagle]

I went out for the evening in Fort Wayne, Indiana. We were going to a blues club and having a few drinks, so we walked. On the way back, after quite a few drinks, we went to a fast food drive through for a burger, cos I'd got the munchies. They wouldn't serve me, because I wasn't driving. The police stopped on their way past - presumably a pedestrian is a very unusual sight in Fort Wayne. They also told me I couldn't have a burger from the drive through if I wasn't driving and helpfully suggested I go and get my car and then come back again and then I could have a burger. I pointed out I'd been drinking so that wasn't a good plan. They said it would in fact be fine.

"So. I can drink drive, but I can't be walk around with a burger?"

"Yes Ma'am."

[iaineasy]

haha nice one chick :))

[Y'man]

A 'gas station' attendant in Arkansas, upon noticing my accent, asked me where I was from. I told him, London. He thought for a bit then said "Which state is that in?"!

[giggirl]

Yes it's all very amusing and sorry to be a wet blanket but if someone started a thread saying, for example, "Irish people are really stoopid" and then we all got on there with our anecdotes, it wouldn't take long before someone called "foul".

[SeanMacGabhann]

Except, unlike irish people, the stereotype about Americans isn't perpetuated by the occupying nation

If people started a thread highlighting some very stupid things that happened in Irish shops or whatever in 2010 I would probably nod and go "yep".

that said there can be a reflex anti-americanism attitude everywhere, which does grate.

[Y'man]

Anecdote does not equal anti! Ba ba Black Sheep does not equal racism.

[*Bob*]

Conversation in clothes shop, South Carolina, USA.

Assistant (on hearing our accents): "Hey.. where you from?"

*Bob*: "We're from London"

Assistant: "How far's that?"

*Bob*: "Ooh.. took us about 14 hours"

Assistant: "Drivin'?"

[Y'man]

Another gas station attendant in Georgia, back the 70's, told me, "Hey Man, I just love your accent". I told her I liked hers too, as I was rushing off to the 'bathroom'. Ten minutes later as I walked out she shouted after me, "Hey Man, I'd just love to sit on your accent for a while"! One of the most endearing things I've been told.

[woofmarkthedog]

Yeah mock the stupid "Them over there" if it makes you feel better

Trouble is I've met many "Smart" people who can't change a lightbulb or the spare wheel on their car

What's easier "Six nuggets" Or "Half a dozen nuggets" by economy of words in a "Fast food" environment, the later is a bit clunky, no ?

W**F

[Chick]

The only reason I thought it might be a bit USA was the reference to"911"

Don?t know if they had Woolworths in the USA, it could just as easily be London.

[*Bob*]

Conversation at Sainsburys checkout in East Dulwich, London, UK

Checkout Girl: "Er.. right, what's that.." (consults identification cards)

*Bob*: "It's a carrot".

[giggirl]

Chick - Woolworths was an American company. Duh! Actually a very famous American company. The Woolworths heiress was married to Cary Grant and they were known as "Cash and Carry".

[Y'man]

Woolworths is/was originally American.

[Y'man]

Converation with an ******** friend's 10 year old daughter, where do Chickens come from? Answer, "the supermarket"!

[Chick]

Forgive my ignorance!

[Brendan]

Oh for gods? sake. It?s not offensive to say that the Americans are fat, lazy and stupid just like it?s not offensive to say that the English are neurotic nancyboy wankers.

[giggirl]

Actually Brendan, that's quite a sexist remark. Not all English people are Nancyboys. I expected more from you. Make an effort.

[Brendan]

Sorry I meant to say ?Englishmen?. I quite like their women.

Although they can keep their fucking jobs.

[SteveT]

I was visiting an american company accompanied by a Fin and a Dane, one of the american contingent asked where we were from, we explained, he said "are they democracies"?

[EDOldie]

It's a pleasure sir, have a nice day.

Thank you.

You're welcome

Thank you.

You're welcome

Thank (oh Christ, this is never going to work)

[cate]

*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Conversation in clothes shop, South Carolina,

> USA.

>

> Assistant (on hearing our accents): "Hey.. where

> you from?"

> *Bob*: "We're from London"

> Assistant: "How far's that?"

> *Bob*: "Ooh.. took us about 14 hours"

> Assistant: "Drivin'?"

Hey, there is a London, Ontario, which is in Canada in case you didn't know........stop being cultural snobs.

[*Bob*]

cate Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Hey, there is a London, Ontario, which is in

> Canada in case you didn't know........stop being

> cultural snobs.

I didn't know that. Do they all speak with British accents there too?

[woofmarkthedog]

Plus Mr & Mrs *Bob* wear purley "King & Queen" garb while indulging in "Touring of the Continents"

They do!

If you don't believe me, punch me in the stomach

W**F

[cate]

*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> cate Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Hey, there is a London, Ontario, which is in

> > Canada in case you didn't know........stop

> being

> > cultural snobs.

>

> I didn't know that. Do they all speak with British

> accents there too?

British accents? or do you mean London accents?