Is anyone watching "One Born Every Minute" on C4

[malleymoo]

I love the idea of the Joy and Fabio show. agree the chair was one of the classic funny moments.

but so poignant too the opening scenes of them listening to other couples having their babies after all they had been through with the fertility treatment, and now the failed inductions and prolonged labour. It all felt so honest!I was so delighted that they put in the follow up clip of them a couple of months on and we could see the wonder and amazement when they looked at their precious little girl. Best TV at the moment

[nylonmeals]

Totally agree - Joy and Fabio were great.

Also made you realise that people who worry about bonding with babies after c-sections (or that c-sections are in some way second best to natural birth) should just watch this episode to see the enormous love and emotion that they had for baby Ellie from the moment she was born.

[sillywoman]

C-section is birth by a different route. It's still a birth, The birth of a baby. No second best about it.

[snowboarder]

Does feel a bit like that though SW. Am desperate to have 'natural' birth (at home please!) next time round - specially after watching this prog! Just feel like have totally missed out on a massive rite of passage by not going through labour etc. (I know Joy did - talking personally)

[helena handbasket]

Snowboarder, do you think you feel that way because women are always talking about it? I don't feel that way at all, but I was very afraid I would after the birth of my son by c-section. I was quite fixated on the birth and spent a good deal of time and thought working out my birth plan, which in the end went a much different way. BUT, once I had my son in my arms I didn't care one bit how he got out and have felt that way ever since. I know birth is a very special and significant experience, but it seems funny to me to have women agonize so over something we really have so little control over. Plenty of times I've watched women on this forum asking advice, taking it all in, and I sometimes wonder if there's such a thing as too much information. I got lucky, psychologically I could handle not having the vaginal birth we are told "our bodies were built for"...... but I wonder how many women become too emotional wrapped up in the endless stories.

It makes me really sad to imagine that there are women that inevitably compare their stories to others and are consequently "disappointed" by their child's own birth.

My son's birth was magical and extraordinary....... and surgical. It was NOT second best.

[Smiler]

I had a positive experience with my (unplanned) C-section, though was high as a kite for a while afterwards, so the first memories are quite fuzzy! Don't personally feel like I missed out, in fact was simply relieved to escape the pain of "natural" labour! And to have the baby delivered quickly and safely of course. It was also fab for my husband, who got lots of time with the baby rightaway.

[sillywoman]

snowboarder, have pm'd you to say. You did have a 'rite of passage' - one that was specific to your own circumstances around the birth of your baby.

It's normal to feel a sense of loss, but women who have a vaginal birth often feel that loss too. Whether it's because they had an epidural when they wished they hadn't, or didn't get the epidural in time & wished they had, or had the baby in hospital instead of at home or vice versa. I often think that loss & regret for what might've been are as much a part of the spectrum of childbirth as the experience itself.

Thanks for sharing how you feel about your C-sections snowboarder, helenahandbasket & smiler. The more open women are, the less taboo's around the subject there will be.

Wow, see what interesting debates that programme provokes!

[The Nappy Lady]

One of the midwives was also talking about this on the programme (how women 'want' to experience giving birth 'naturally' and that there is no logical explanation for it, just an instinctive thing).

Snowboarder, I agree with what everyone else has said, and although I did have 2 fab natural births the 'how' of the children's arrival becomes less and less important as time goes on so don't be too sad.

I think the moment of being handed, and finally seeing your baby's face for the first time is much more important, and we all have that amazing feeling in common.

The 'rite of passage' also has many downsides, not least the terror of coughing or laughing too hard ever again!

Molly

Molly

x

[Belle]

I thought the midwife was very good in suggesting that it might be better to now go for a c-section as she'd need her energy in the coming days and weeks - v sensible! And agree it was a v positive portrayal of immediate bonding - must say I had a normal (forceps) birth and took much much longer to bond with my baby than joy and fabio, so it just goes to show really that the method doesn't necessarily have an impact (but perhaps the manner, meaning the environment really, does).

[R&A]

I agree with almost everything everyone has said and it's nice to hear some positive stories about c-sections.

My personal opinion is that woman get traumatised or upset by events if they dont' go the way they expect them to.

E.G I wanted an epidural and always had done. Yet when i was told i was too early and then (conveniently) too late I was frankly traumatised and still am.

When my baby arrived, my partner and i were still in shock after a terrible birth, I certainly didn't have an instant bond - yet my birth is probably someone else?s ideal birth (vaginal & no pain relief)..... I had miserable time

The safest way to give birth is a vaginal birth with no complications... Should anything be wrong with the baby or mum, the safest way is elective c-section. Personally i can't understand why a mum would take any risks because she had an 'itch' to have a vaginal birth. But each to their own and i wouldn?t judge anyone for their decision

I would much rather have had a c-section, safe in teh knowledge that the baby would be safe. I had a risk of prolapse (because the baby's head hadn't engaged) and at the time would much rather have had an elective c-section - but the risk of the baby dying wasn't big enough to warrant a c-section.

Anyway - i find it sad that people say 'i'm sorry' or imply that a woman has 'failed' if she has a c-section.

Who are we to judge? - and frankly who cares how other people had their own children.

The same goes for those mothers who 'fail' to breastfeed. These poor new mums beating themselves up all the time and not just enjoying the baby...

Anyway, i agree it's the best program on telly right now (that and pineapple dance studios - hilarious!) :)

[helena handbasket]

R&A I like your post!

[Ruth_Baldock]

I, for one, found it incredibly cathartic to see a positive aspect of a c-section. My son was born 11 weeks ago after a, frankly traumatic, failed induction which led to a crash c-section- I was under general anesthesia and missed everything. I, too, have had people say 'I'm sorry' when I tell them how my son was delivered which only serves to make me feel worse! We had planned an unmedicated homebirth, but ended up with the most invasive birth possible and I am totally still reeling from it, and doubt I will set foot in Kings again because of the memories it brings back. However, saying that, even though it wasn't my birth story, Joy and Fabio's birth experience almost served as 'closure' for me...if that makes any sense?

Definitely the best thing on telly at the moment, all my Mum friends and I text back and forth during the commercial breaks about it :"That woman's partner is a right twat!" etc.

[darlin']

Snowboarder- I know exactly how you feel, 100% I also know that it is probably irrational and that all births are "natural" and wonderful but it is really hard to convince yourself of that at times.

When my midwife recently told me I will probably have to have another c-section after all (because this baby just won't turn around!!) I burst into tears. The midwife on last week's show explained it perfectly about some women just having a "need" to experience labour (and her saying that made me cry too!)

Oh goodness, too many hormones at the moment!

[nunheadmum]

I understand the 'rite of passage' bit. My first was an elective c-section as she was breech and it was lovely - she was delivered onto me and I totally remember the whole experience. For the second I strongly wanted to go VBAC and fought for it as I felt I'd missed out on something, not having given birth naturally first time. In the end though the natural birth experience was nothing like I had hoped for (I had to fight not to be on the bed and monitored all the way due to being VBAC & other issues) and I hardly remember giving birth in the end as I was exhausted and angry at the care I got. I really wished I'd had another c-section which would have been much nicer.

I guess what I'm saying is to remember that not all c-sections are bad and not all natural births are good. Both can be a positive experience and that rite of passage may not be all that we build it up to be in our heads. We shouldn't beat ourselves up for not having acheived what we think of as being the 'perfect' birth experience or build it up into something it might not be in reality. I've only seen bits of the show (hubby can't bear to watch it - says going through it last time was bad enough) but it sounds like it is good for showing that it's the end result that really matters, not how you get there.

[R&A]

Mine too - he leaves the room when it comes on..... anyone else's partners bailing?

[candj]

I had 2 c-sections and actually enjoyed every moment of them and still recount the moments with my husband who had the courage to watch the first time. Not to be flippant but it was fast, easy, calm and an amazing experience overall with both children. My consultant was fantastic and the whole theatre was full of convivial chatter about everything from wines (both anaesthetists were S. African) to baby names to who got to take the best photos as the camera was passed around. Most importantly, I wasn't distressed at any point and recovered very quickly (even faster from the second), and have two healthy children (and one teeny 4 inch scar which is covered by even the smallest of knickers). I never had any pain and only had the epidural so was awake for both of them and was able to sit up immediately after and hold my babies and breastfeed.

I certainly don't feel as though I've missed out on anything and agree with others that a birth of a baby is just that no matter how it happens.

And on topic, my husband too avoided the last episode ... something about Ireland vs Brazil playing some sport somewhere...

[Belle]

my husband wasn't keen but i did kind of trick him into watching episode two or three and now he likes it, especially the comedy touches (we both think the receptionist is hilarious, in a bad way).

a friend of mine is looking at an elective c-section as she has an extreme phobia re natural birth, so it's really nice to hear these stories and I'll pass them on.

[Saila]

the rich wouldn't be paying 16k out of pocket for elective c-sections if it wasn't a perfectly safe/happy alternative for both mother and baby...

also the 'you can't have more than two c-sections' is a myth

more than two just has higher 'risks' associated with it

my sister's had two elective c-sections (and another on teh way) with no problems

her first was a vaginal birth which was so horrifying for her, she opted to go for elective c-sections for all the others..

... but she can afford it... lucky her!

[nylonmeals]

my husband said that he didn't want to watch - but then was on the sofa with me when it was on this week and was fairly transfixed by Joy and Fabio and their story/birth (the bit with Fabio and the chair had him laughing out loud)

btw - this has been a great discussion. I especially liked NunheadMum's view: "I guess what I'm saying is to remember that not all c-sections are bad and not all natural births are good. Both can be a positive experience and that rite of passage may not be all that we build it up to be in our heads. We shouldn't beat ourselves up for not having acheived what we think of as being the 'perfect' birth experience or build it up into something it might not be in reality."

[The Nappy Lady]

Just have to say, I think Abbey's Mum and Boyfriend are amazing this week, I am fighting back the tears, they are showing her so much love and support. I feel like I am pushing this baby out with her.

M

[sophiesofa]

Another lovely episode but there seems to be an emergency c-section every week!

[The Nappy Lady]

Yes, I do wish they would show a few more straightforward/easy births. The focus this week was all around age which maybe affected their choice of Mums.

The c-section baby Kairon (sp??), looked HUGE, both when he was born, and the size of his head when his Mum was holding him afterwards. Just as well she didn't push him out I reckon. I would love to know what he weighed.

Molly

[Ann]

Molly I was thinking exactly the same thing! I wish they'd tell us the birth weights sometimes. I agree Abbey's boyfriend showed incredible maturity for his age and her mum was great.

It does seem like lot of emergency c sections but at least they go back to the mother afterward to see how well she's doing and enjoying her baby.

Another great episode this week.

[Belle]

Wow - was so impressed with Abbie, thought she did really well and agree her boyfriend and mum were amazing - at times i thought it was the midwife talking to her as her mum was talking so much sense and giving really good encouragement. She should retrain! There is no way I'd have handled that half as well as Abbie did at 17, v impressed.

Also loved the twist in the tail re leoni's story! (don't want to ruin for people who haven't seen it yet) - the snapshot at the end!

[malleymoo]

I ageree nappy Lady. It has made me smile to think that the most supportive partner shown has been a 17 year old lad. Much better than the man 2 weeks back shouting at his wife for having a natural childbirth ! Very gratifying Thought the mum was lovely too -encouraging and warm.