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Reading these posts, I wonder if women are well enough prepared by ante natal classes, for the dramatic the changes to their birth plan that can be necessary. I never dreamed I would have any sort of medical emergency, and definately thought I would be able to deal with the pain, and I think it would have been useful for me to speak to women who had had other experiences, not scare stories but a birth experience where adjustments had to be made according to circumstances. Would that help to avoid the feelings of guilt postnatally? (Maybe that is what happens now...I havnt been to an antental class for years now!!!)

Lovely piece - thanks for posting. I read a passage in the Book Bhuddism for Motherhood which described the disapointment some women feel about the "failure" to have a natrual birth and it suggested that the letting go of your birth choices for the needs of the baby can be the first act of motherly selflessness and should be viewed as a positive relinquishment. I found this very a very helpful idea. BTW, Bhuddism for Motherhood is a great book to read, always leaving me with something to think about, not at all a religious text as the title implies, but more about being the calm, accepting, gentle parent that I aim to be. It really helps look at the whole motherhood journey, rather than treating it like a succession of issues to be dealt with.

This lady is excellent and will come to you house to work with your existing wardrobe, altering pieces, making couture items, suggesting additions etc etc to enable you to have a capsule wardrobe - but she's not cheap. (she did work at Harvey Nicks as a personlal shopper for a while. http://www.rebeccajames.biz/index.html

Looks like he's a long eared owl. Really unusual thing to see, what an honour for you - thanks for sharing the photo.

The ones at Sainsburys are in the party stuff area - not the baking area - hope you find them - they are lovely.

I found this when I first got mine(years ago now) But I soon got used to it. You sometimes have to wiggle it (...just a little bit!) and also stay calm because if you are mad and wild it doesnt seem to work...oh and also, not being pregnant helps with the technique.

For me, I dont think breastfeeding made any difference to my post baby weight loss, I bottle fed, mixed fed, and exclusively breastfed, and the pattern of weightloss was always about the same, Sudden drop after birth, 6 month plateau, and then gradual loss to normal (??!) from 6 month to a year.

"The mixed-up files of Mrs Basil E Frankweiler" Fantastic American classic about some children that run away and live in the Metropolitain Museum. Good read for kids and adults.

Good point re suitability for boys, I only have girls so have no experience of that. However, in recent years they have added alot of facilities to support "big play" such as ride on bikes and trikes and trains, and an outside (though small)area that is open for play all the time in good weather so they may have addressed these caveats. Mustard Seeds is indeed very fantastic, beautiful space to work in and lovely teachers, and kids I know who went there had a great time and have come out as lovely, well rounded, pleasant people....but it was a bit too Christian for my taste....

super retro 70's style fondue?

I loved Half Moon Montessori - all 4 of mine went (last one left at Christmas) and it worked really well for them all, despite them being quite different characters. You are so right about the head, she loves kids and is not at all corporate. Couldn't have hoped for a better start for my lot. My eldest (now 12) still pops in sometimes to let her old teachers (most of whom are still there) know how she is getting on - thats got to be a good sign.

Ted Hughes - The Iron man Varjak Paw series by SF Said (quite an easy read, it even has some pictures, but deals with good issues for kids) Philip Pulman - I was a rat Stig of the Dump The Wolves of Willoughby Chase Incidentally I was trying to get my kids to read Swallows and Amazons last year as I had enjoyed it so much as a kid, but I think it reads quite turgidly these days - my kids didnt like it much - and now I've looked at it more closely I can see why...have alook at the text before you recommend it to him. Not true of Stig who reads as well now as he ever did!!

Good old EDF - post reunited with rightful owner within 20 mins!

Have contacted sender but they have not responded. I'm not keen to send it back as it is part of a correspondence about a previous postal muddle.....are you out there somewhere.....?

I am trying to give away about 50 books in the family classified section for 2 and 3 year olds that my kids have grown out of....PM me if you would like to come and look at them. I have titles by Nick Sharratt, Nick Butterworth, some Usborne stuff (with find the Duck) Little Princess, Guess how much I love you and loads more.... It may solve your problem as loads of choice and variation is the key with little ones - so you can see what really grabs them! Edited to say that most of these have gone now.

Molly - sahm's in our street sometimes do the ironing in the garden in the summer and chat over the fence ..keeping the shirts from dangling on the ground is a challenge though! - it was an extension of admiring each others laundry on the line. We (like the saddo's we are) compete to be the first to get our washing on the line on a good drying day, and if it rains - and one of the others is out, we would hop over the fence and take their washing in for them. I'm beginning to feel like I live in the 1950's...but i like it!!!

Some of our children are the same age, and now its easy as they are all in some school for some of the time each week. When they were younger though, we did it with the kids as well - they would come with us from room to room, or we would take advantage of a fortuitously timed sleep, (ie walk back from school through park with babies in prams try to get the babies asleep in their prams so we could get going on the house) or we would take turns to play with the babies while the other hoovered - an extra pair of hands to help can only be a good thing however many children are around - or whatever age they are... Even now in the school holidays it is more of a challenge with 6 children of different ages in tow, but we find a way because the house (and we) need the help even more when the kids are around messing everything up every day!!

I too struggle with "homemaking" but Ive come up with a plan which really works. I have a cleaning buddy. I have found a chum with a similar mess threshhold to mine, and each week, we do at least one morning at her house, and one at mine. Its genius, we work really hard because we are together (no sloping of to EDF or cash in the attic while cleaning together) and are able to offer good 3rd party advise to each other (like...this playroom is really not working for you - every week its ankle deep in detritus, lets rethink the storage and get rid of loads of the stuff) Also if the houses are relatively tidy we move onto other jobs like garden or loft storage or taking stuff to charity shops. Big jobs like changing the beds (big for me as we have 4 kids) takes no time with 2 of you working chambermaid styley (...that sounds much more titilating than it asctually is!) I genuinely look forward to my cleaning days. We chat as we work like ladies cleaning their front steps did in the olden days, we have music on while we work, we have a good lunch together, and afterwards most of the house is tidy (instead of one room in rotation as before!) I advise you all to find a cleaning wing-man (or woman probobly!).

...automated massage? Wasn't all bad then!

With one of mine I found it really helpful to have a little friend over who is also potty training so that they can see you making a fuss of and possibly treating the other child when they succeed, and not giving much attention to the child who is not complying with toilet ettiquette!!. It can really diffuse the head-to-head potty stand-off situation. Also you can make activites where they both sit on their pots together- reading to them, tea party, songs etc to help make happy associations with the potty. Good luck!

Plain 22 carat gold circle.

Poor Janicewendy - what a reception for you 1st post on the edf! Welcome. (by the way - everyone agrees with you but have run out of ways to be funny about it!)

Good songs number 2 I'm beginning to think the family room should release an album of these songs! Shall we call it "I like biscuits?"

I too have reservations about reward charts, but on tricky issues (all toilet related I think) I have used them. I wonder whether a reward chart really would be effective for being kind to her sister. I think they work as an immediate prize for good behavior (ie wee in the potty = get sticker straight away) wheras rewarding for a few hours of pleasantness is maybe a bit too nebulous be effective. For example, if there had been an squeezing incident after lunch but she was lovely at tea time at which point she doesnt get her sticker for a "clean" afternoon, the message is all wrong, its maybe better to reward actual acts of kindness, a particulary gentle cuddle, or lovely sharing etc which no doubt you are already doing with praise and love and words. Maybe save the power of the sticker chart for something more black and white.... We found that telling our older children that they, like us had to teach the younger ones how to be kind and gentle, and thanked them for helping us when they were sweet with the babies. Also when the babies were smiley and cuddly and lovely we'd ask the older ones if they had taught them to be so lovely - behaving so beautifully, just like their older sisters. Its just as manipulative as the chart really isnt it, but it seemed to work for us! Best of luck with it.

Size matters..!