gwod

I've had 1 vaginal delivery, 2 emergency c sections and 2 planned c sections. The planned c/s were my best deliveries, I am equally bonded with all my children, and feeding success or failure bore no corelation of methods of delivery. I think very relatively few women's births go according to plan - I feel as though its training for motherhood, starting to teach us to be flexible from the outset - in my experience loads of it goes in a different (and often better)than I had invisaged beforehand! The theatre is a calm and businesslike place (much calmer than delivery rooms in my experience) you can talk and ask questions as the procedure takes place. The downside is a longer stay in hospital but that's not much of a price to pay for a safe delivery. Dont let the guilt get to you - there's plenty of time for that later (...shall I go back to work?...can I afford the education I would like....do I read to him enough etc etc!!!) Be calm All will be well.

Infant Feeding Co-ordinator at Kings is 020 3299 3833 - that will either get you through to Clare - or someone who can tell you when her drop-in clinics are. She knows everything there is to know about boobs. Good luck!

Grrrr, my theory suddenly looks very dodgy! I thought because right hand is more cunning, attachment to left boob better from outset, therefore latch better, therefore delivery of milk more efficient, therefore supply goes up. (Ps I am right handed but got better at drinking tea, writing notes with left!) Anyway, didnt mean to hijack the thread...sorry Ruth.

I wonder if expressing from the right while you are feeding him from left boob may help - this certainly helps acheive a better yeild if you are trying to stockpile milk for the freezer so may help (though will be a faff!). Also you could go up to Kings to talk to Clare Kedves, the breastfeeding Guru, who will be able to tell you definitavely what to do...there are drugs you can be prescribed to increase yeild, but they only use them if expressing etc is proven unfruitful. PS. I reckon nearly all right handed women's left breast is the "better" one because we attach the baby with our right - are there any lefties out their who's babies do better on the right to prove my theory?

I love flying ant day....it's fantastic that they all come out on the same day all over the country, like an ancient ant flash mob.

There was a recent thread about French/Biligual mums hooking up with their kids once in a while, here it is; http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?25,422106,455940#msg-455940

The Eurozone...what was wrong with Europe?

I agree with Molly that becoming a Doula may be the way to go to attract post natal ladies as I dont think its clear what one needs a HV for, I would have never considered paying for one as the ones I got for free were not very helpful. (We called one of ours the stealth visitor!) I got the impression that they represented the NHS more than the parent, ensuring you are having all your injections, are signed off from hospital care etc. However. with my first couple of babies, I would have welcomed more help and advice after the birth - a post natal midwife or feeding consultant would have been what I would have looked for....or maybe a kind of rent-a-mum! Good luck - Let us know what you decide to do.

No need for melting into puddles. Yor situation makes me think of women who have become pregnant by accident, and whose hearts pounded with fear in worry when the little blue line appeared on the the pregnancy test. No-one would deny them the feelings of shock and possibly disapointment that their future is going in a direction they did not expect, but babies that started this way arrive and are accepted and loved and celebrated just as planned ones are. You sound like a woman who is fully connected to her feelings and can express them bravely - things will work out fine.

Prior to having my children, I had clear expectations of how I would raise them and of my career path, but you are never prepared for how you will feel about your self and your babies until they arrive, and the reality is so different. For me a period of life recalibration became necessary. Finding that having/doing it all makes us miserable can be a sign that we have to prioritise and just do the things which are absolutely necessary to our happiness. I wonder if you and your husband should talking to someone to help you work out a work/life balance that suits you all, and helps you express your expectations (of your selves and of your partner) to each other. Potentially this could be a fantastic turning point in your life where you both get to take control of your destinies and get the lives you want for your whole family- its the figuring out what you want thats the hard bit! Best of luck, you sound smart and loving - find a way to get some more sleep you'll have all the tools you need to work your way through this.

I would like to help, I have PM'd you.

Christ Church Centre booking details and map are here http://birthlight.com/public/findaclass/ its near the junction with Lordship Lane, all sorts of useful stuff goes on in there...

Yup!

I really liked this class on Barry Road, for pregnancy and for mother and baby yoga... http://www.aroundbirth.org/yogaclasses/yogapregnancy.html

Whilst I do think the article childish and trite, I would defend Blundells right to be editor of a mother and baby magazine, and to express a personal view different from the govenment or WHO. We don't want to live in a world where newsprint content is controlled do we? After all its not a legal issue, or racially inflaming, its a life choice. Would you prefer that her job, and jobs similar to hers were mandatorily filled with pro B/feeders - feels wrong to me.

Keef - you actually didn't read thread did you? Good to know about your sex ed though!

I really empathise Ruth, my emergency experiences were also bad (in one instance, as bad as it can get) but the last c/sections really were OK...and I found that, as the delivery went Ok, I was much better equiped to deal with the post natal ward - though I agree its never going to feel like Champney's! Incidentally I did get out of hosp within 24 hours of my last daughter's births, but it would be hard to guarentee.

Slightly off topic but I just wanted reassure those of you that had and an emergency C/section as their first birth experience that other hospital deliveries are usually not nearly as traumatic as that. An emergency C/s is the worst of both worlds...labour and an operation, as well an often traumatic time in birth when the baby/mother is in danger followed by a potentially a long stay in hospital. My second and 3rd babies were born my em C/section and so I had planned c/section for the last 2, the first of which I was dreading as I associated my previous experiences with what would happen during the delivery. Actually, the planned C/sections were lovely, and I was well enough to leave hosp quickly, and recovered very soon with both. It must be very hard to imagining a good birth if your only experience so far was bad, but try not to polarise your choices (ie. hosp birth was bad, therefore home birth will be good) as there are lots of options in between which may also suit you. Best of luck.

...not sure they ever really " go back to normal"! I too would recommend dropping feeds gradually to give your boobs time to adjust

Choose the school you like not the principle you like - there is a balance to be made in both environments between social roundedness and academic acheivement, it's the school that makes the best of that balance you need to choose. (or in my case, the school allocated to my family by the local authority!) Also I think for me the shape of my family would make a difference to my choice - as the mum of 4 girls I dont think I'd send them to an all girl's school - they would have a very skewed view of the world!!

An excellent point made by Fuschia, in some instances first hand stories are more confusing that more general stats. I think that often when we are encouraged to make a birth plan, we are not reminded to maintain a degree of flexibility about our choices - labours, our expectations and our decisions about how to manage them can all be quite changeable, Perhaps they key is to be with a midwife who knows that you are well researched and able to make informed decisions as the birth get neaere and progresses. Best of luck MichelleT (Incidentally, I really dislike the phrase "birth plan" as it leads women to beleive they have more control of the delivery than is sometimes possible, leading to guilt and disapointment when things don't go to plan - whole other thread maybe!) Gwod (5 births, none of which went to plan!)

Thinking further about your situation, you could also do alot of games where toys (very grown up, big girl toys) sit on toy loos and are congratulated....leave mentioning the idea of her actually on the potty or the loo until you feel she is ready to try again. Also you could play games where babies and little girls get their nappy changed...or mention how her sibling needs a nappy because he/she is only little, but one day when he is a big boy/girl, he will do his wees and poos on the potty. God know why I'm offering advice though...my youngest has recently regressed to night time wetting so perhaps all my tips are flawed!

I know this is so inconvenient when shes due to start Nursery, but I dont think the time is right for her - I think you need to stop potty training for a month or so and come back to it afresh - its hard enough when they want to do it, impossible when they don't. I suppose you could prepare her a bit in the meantime with talk about things that will happen, or things that you have for "when she's a big girl" and separtely associate pottys or loos with "being a big girl" Often Nurserys will accomodate kids who are not fully potty trained even though their bumph says its essential - have a chat to them nearer the time if its still not sorted. Good luck - I can remember feeling as though the jump to toilet traing was unsurmountable with some of mine - but when they are ready, the transition is easy.

..Also a potty in their bedroom can at help at first as they sometimes wake up desprrate and a little bit scared of the journey to the loo.

I think that in ideal circumstances, we would all be calm, nuturing, wealthy, vegetable growing, stay at home, earth mothers, but it is not possible to be all these things, and indeed, some are mutually exclusive. It feels as though James is setting mothers up to beleive they have failed if some of these objectives are not acheieved. It seems that a great deal of these parenting books seem to lay out the writer's own parenting choices as "The Way" ( OJ beleives in SAHMs or a if you are desparate, a Nanny which is what he is doing....G Ford as a Nursery Nurse beleives routine is king...which I'm sure was essensial in her experiences in the nursery environment....Penelope Leach, all for co-sleeping, and having the baby attached to you - definately seems to have worked for her)....Seems to me like lots of methods work, picked through a mixture of choice and necessity - fads and trends come and go, let's not beat ourselves up....Mothers Unite!