annaj

TLS, regarding the original question, I think without knowing the whole situation it's impossible to say if she's being unreasonable or not. Although you're obviously close to them, there may be more to it than you know. I think the bottom line is that if it would make her uncomfortable on the day for wife number 1 to be there, for whatever reason, then she's within her rights to say so. As for the more general question of whether it's ok to have ex's hanging around, I think different people have different boundaries (as this thread neatly demonstrates) and all that matters is that as you're comfortable as individuals and as a couple. Lots of people, like Mockney, move in a social circle that has built over time where everyone has know each other for ages and everyone's been out with everyone. There's nothing wrong with that, if everyone's happy with it and the shared history can form extremely strong and valuable bonds. Other people, like me, don't have that sort of social group and don't tend to keep in contact with ex-partners, for all sorts of reasons, and so don't feel especially comfortable with that set up. That's fine too. I suppose what I'm saying is that both ways are normal and healthy and fine and everyone is entitled to feel the way they feel about it and it only causes a problem if two people in a couple feel very differently. If that's the case it's a bit tricky, but like most things in a relationship, it can probably be solved with a bit of respect, sensitivity, clear communication and compromise.

*Gasp!* Perhaps Sean and Quids are actually the same (deeply conflicted and confused) person. I mean has anyone actually seen them in a room together?

Does anyone else do a silent, internal, cheer each time they see this thread pop back to the top with Ted Max post? Definitely my forum highlight.

It's pretty chilly inside too. My room thermometer won't budge over 15C despite having the heating on full blast since we got in two hours ago. Brrrrrrrrrrrr! I'm going to have to resort to housework to keep me warm. Still, better than being at work. Sorry Mockney.

Ummm. Ok. What's this then? The unsolicited advice thread?

Just got home from visiting family and have had a luxurious, much-needed, four whole days off work. Back in tomorrow.

A man's woman? What is that exactly RosieH? I have genuinely no idea what people mean when they say that. What has she said or done that leads you to that conclusion? Not surprisingly, perhaps, it's something I've been labelled since sixth form when I chose to hang out with a group of boys who watched films and went out and talked about things they like doing instead of a group of girls who did nothing but criticise what everyone ate and wore and said and did. These days, thankfully, most people have grown up and respect the fact that, although my closest friends are female, many of the friends I really connect with are male, but that doesn't necessarily make me a slut or a bitch.

David, of course they are both extremely attractive women. I didn't watch the series with Jill Halfpenny, so I don't know what her appeal was exactly. Aleisha, who was a complete joy to watch and a completely justified winner, was appealing to all voters, because despite being extremely attractive she came across as a bit vulnerable and an underdog. There was one memorable week whe the judges told her that if she started learning to dance early enough she could have been a professional. Aleisha said that she'd always wanted dancing lessons, but her family had been too poor. Hearts broke all around the country (I cried. No, really)and people voted. Now, I'm not for a moment suggesting Aleisha was manipulating us, she seemed sincere and genuine (and was a divine dancer)but she definitely had that bit of extra back story that wins votes. In my opinion, and it is just an opinion I have no real evidence, an attractive women will only be popular if she has a "thing". Some extra element that makes her more appealing and less threatening to the female voting public, because women are surprisingly mean spirited and jealous when it comes to other women, something that I always find disappointing.

Me - After a long and exhausting night shift dashed to Lordship Lane. Saw the queue already stretching back to the bus stop. Struggled not to cry. Saw number 40 approaching. Guiltily, got on number 40 and went to Sainsburys. Bought very nice looking meat and pushed all nagging ethical and environmental concerns firmly to one side. Took bus home again past queue and spotted person who had been at the back now only half way up. You - Please, don't tell the very discerning forumite coming to lunch..... :-$

*before reading this post, please understand that I realise Strictly is not life and death, but I do love it and get involved in watching it and care about the results, because I believe that if something is worth doing it's worth doing well. So, if people taking it too seriously is annoying you, please don't bother reading the rest and leave me to have my rant* Thank you. Buggie, I'm not sure I undersatnd your post about there being a change in the way the dance off is decided. As I understand it the system has always been the same, the judges scores are converted into a numerical ranking (using the example of the semi final Rachel and Lisa were joint 1st so got 3 each and Tom was last so got 1) the phone votes are then converted in the same way (Tom was most popular so got 3, Rachel came second and got 2 and Lisa came third and got 1) So, their overall score should have been both scores added together Tom 4, Rachel 5, Lisa 4 therefore Lisa and Tom in the dance-off (but even if Tom got all the phone votes and Rachel and Lisa got none he could still only have equalled them) The presenters claim that they had not anticiapted that situation (seems unlikely, it's hardly advanced statistics) and when it came up they felt it wasn't fair that Tom would inevitably be in the dance off. However, given that that is the advertised and established voting system, there doesn't seem to me to be anything unfair about it. It seems more likely to me that they realised Tom was the favourite and they would loose viewers for the final if he went out and that, after all the various phone-vote scandals, they're terrified of being accused of conning the public. Tom would have been in the dance off, because the judges marked him so much lower then both other dancers, because there was an obvious difference in the standard. But instead he was put through to the final and ultimately won, over Lisa who got a perfect score for both her first dances, because, in effect, the public's opinion was favoured over the judges instead of a combined score. It's not the first time the show have bent the rules for a favourite, does anyone remember Mark Ramprakash and Karen being allowed to start over because her costume got caught up? But it's disappointing none the less. Everyone knows by now that I'm a huge Rachel fan, watching her dance lifted me out of everyday life and gave me the thrill that only something really beautiful can, but I was actually more upset for Lisa by the result. Ok, her show dance was really naff and Tom's was perky and fun, but she got a perfect score for her first two dances and that counted for nothing, because the public don't like attractive women. As for Tom's "personality" all I saw was a smug, egotistical actor of the Joey Tribiani school, pulling faces while he dragged Camilla (a fantastic dancer and choreographer who made the very best of him and his pre-existing talents)around the floor. There, I feel better now, I'll go back to real life and stop caring about television competitions. Thanks for listening. :-$

Started nights last night and finish on Boxing day morning. Not anticipating much time to post....

Mamora Man, as an alternative to the horrors of the grotty end of Oxford street, I was in Covent Garden today and there is a stall there Tuesdays - Fridays with a lovely range of cheugsam and jackets.

MM I've got a "Susie Wang" dress (black and gold, knee length, silk, Cheungsam dress) that I had made in Thailand. It was made for me, so isn't a standard size, but it's about a size 10. Mamora Woman is welcome to borrow it if she wants to. ps. If that's no good there's a big shop down the grotty end of Oxford Street that sells them.

*raises one eyebrow* *smiles knowingly* *says nothing*

Ok, I'm going to have to stick up for Keef. As I read it he was saying that, althought the driver's actions weren't justified, there was probably fault on both sides and even someone who witnessed the incident wasn't entirely sure what exactly had happened. Which I think is reasonable. His comment about laughing if he'd seen the cyclist hit wasn't pathetic, sick or any of the things he's been called, it was probably in poor taste, but he was just admitting to that tiny part in all of us (whether we admit to it or not) that takes pleasure in the idea of something bad happening to someone annoying. In reality, had Keef been there, I'm sure he wouldn't actually have laughed. I think this is one of those situations that comes up every now and then where a comment is taken much more seriously, because it's written word and so devoid of all the subtlties of non-verbal communication, than it would be if it were said face to face in the pub. I'm lucky enough to know Keef and know that he's calm, fair and reasonable and definitely not prone to random acts of mindless violence.

Sean, I've tried to grow a small potted tree outside after Chritsmas before and it doesn't work very well. Apparently, it's to do with them having got used to being all warm in the central heating and not liking the shock of the cold when they go outside again. Or at least that's what my mum said. Whatever the reason it went brown and died pretty quickly.

Can't believe I'm the only person to look at that and think this.... He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

Huguenot, my head is now filled with images of East Duliwch cats packing their overnight bags and heading to Heathrow. Queueing up politely to check-in, maybe browsing the duty-free and then boarding a flight to Singapore ("drink, sir?" "Oh yes, milk please") just to come and crap on your flower beds before returning to East Dulwich. No wonder they look so tired when they coming back through the cat flap.

Just a thought, but some people don't like their real name and username posted together. We only had a brief chat (I was a bit hopeless at socialising this time) but she made a very good point about pubs painted black. I've been thinking about it ever since and can't think of one a really like...

Of course this is my other favourite tango... (and the music I became MrsJ to)

Had to bring this thread back to show everyone this.... Rachel and Vincent's Tango The highlight of my week.

I get very upset, althought not really hot, when people are rude about Diss. I spent a very nice pre-Christmas weekend there with my family one year. I have made all important decisions in my life based on my knowledge of myself and my situation, the information available to me and the opinions of those I trust and nothing has turned out how I expected and most of the time I don't feel any more in control than I would if I was letting the tea leaves decide. Having said that, I agree that, becuase the people using them beileve in them, these things are not just harmless fun but potentially exploitative and dangerous and that Gillian McKeith is a seriously unhealthy and dysfuncitonal role model and doesn't understand even basic science. At all.

My mum has a tattoo. She got it at the age of 63. At the tattoo bar in Selfridges. As far as I know, she has never regretted it.

Happy Birthday Floating Onion! Stuck at work with a microwave meal for one, wishing I was at your birthday bash. Have fun :)-D

I had a lovely time. After a horrible week at work (which is not over yet, by the way) I was on the verge of not going and I'm so glad I made myself. Lovely, as always, to see all the regulars and very nice to meet a few newbies. Special mention for Antony who, after a dubious start ("accidentally" wandering off with BN5's pint) completely won me over with charm, wit and flattery. Karaoke was very special, although Keef may never forgive me for not taking part, it was worth it to see him take on Bon Jovi with such style. And as for Jah Lush.... well, what a performance. The evening even ended well with a good brisk stride home with the buggies (stopping at the EDT for a toilet break (Men, why don't you ever go before leaving the pub?) and kebab and wine for supplies) but don't even get me started on Mr Buggie's kebab breath....;-)