helena handbasket

That's a good idea too. Two is so hard when they can't understand or articulate. We had tags for my son's zipper pull, can't remember the company, but it just has a phone number and then an identity number. The person who finds your child calls the company and then the company calls you. The tag was always on the wrong jacket though! I think they also do wrist bands, which is a great idea for that age. I don't know why we don't all just have a GPS bracelet for them! Pickle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > My friends took their little girl to a festival > when she was about 2.5... she was notorious for > peeling stickers off so they wrote their mobile > numbers on both arms and both legs in felt pen > just in case :))

Hmmm, don't think my son would go for the neck. Luckily he's at the age now where I tell him where the sticker is (usually just on his shirt though) and if he's lost, go to the mum with a stroller if there is one and show her. Obviously it's not fool proof but it's something. Hopefully he doesn't get more lost looking for a mum!

Agree with above. Twenty years in child psychology and education and yet every day with my son I realize how little I really know. Actually being a parent has made me better professionally.

Hi Ruth, yes it gives me peace of mind. I don't put any names or anything (that whole "stranger danger" bit) just "if I'm alone please call 0000 000 0000". I use those party name tags but masking tape has been worked just as well in a pinch!

The thing about the baby monitor doesn't actually sound that bad. If you have a large house and baby's room is upstairs that's how it is anyway. In fact, that's the point of having a monitor. Our old Victorian terrace had three levels of bedrooms, as many do. That's a long way to the lounge. In fact it was a long way between bedrooms! I get your point about blurred lines, it's so hard to know. Aside from the safety issue (which the locked door is), I kind of feel like if the lines are blurred than it's not "that" wrong, so maybe leave it to them to decide? I hear all sorts of reasons for parenting decisions; some reasonable and some a bit different (creative?) But the only thing that I really feel is my business is if it's dangerous. cuppa tea Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > new mother Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > CT most people don't do that as it is a fire > > hazard.... > > > Yes, this was what worried me about it most. I > don's see this friend much, but I have to mention > it next time I do. It's one of those things that I > didn't react to straight away because I was a > shocked. Bit disappointed in myself! It's an > example of how lines are blurred in that she is a > very good loving parent in every other > way....sometimes at the end of our tethers we do > less than loving things to our children. > > Another horror story: I remember a neighbour, who > lived upstairs, asking me to babysit her baby by > just bringing down the baby monitor as it still > had frequency. I said that I couldn't do that and > babysat in the usual way by sitting in her lounge. > Had there been a fire I would not have known > anything about it for some time being the flat > below. I have know several people who do this!!

I did misunderstand. Letting a four year old out alone in the middle of London is not cool. Mellors it's the roads that scare me too. My son often wears a sticker with my mobile number when we go in crowds and such because it takes two seconds to lose them, and I need to believe most people who find him will call. But there's nothing you can do about roads. Four year olds are not really known for their decision making skills. Hope they can work with the mother.

Ha Moos but therein lies the rub.......... there is no such thing as "getting it right". So we plod on and do the best we can and learn a few tricks, make a few (or a lot) of mistakes and love our children to bits. I learned a long time ago that the people who criticize are never around help make it better or to support you in your triumphs.

His mother must be having a heart attack, I hope they were re-united. My son let himself out of the house while I was in the shower once. Came down to find the front door wide open and no boy. Happy ending, hopefully today as well.

I know what an emotionally unhealthy family home looks like, and it has nothing to do with naughty steps or controlled crying I can assure you.

The swearing was only added to the story three posts ago. Most people posted their thoughts without knowing that and I think it changes the tone of the situation. Which is why it originally sounded more like a time out. I don't get the middle class bit? I'm not English so always baffled by it anyway, but can't for the life of me understand what it has to do with anything? It all feels kind of odd for some reason.

Couldn't agree more. Want to add: Belle my son is the same as yours I think but a couple of years ahead. At four he is so different from that difficult time. He is mellow and reasonable and gentle, who would have guessed? He's still the boy who can't be left alone for long as his curiosity leads him to crazy ideas, mostly involving sinks (ugh always a mess). Considering two years ago I was the mum who cried all the way home from our hellish toddler activities (one can only take so many glares in one day) :-$ we have come a long way..... hang in there it gets easier!

Morrison's used to have black roll icing. Can't remember what other colours they had. Sorry no idea how to help with the tracing.

Moos I agree, it didn't really work for us either (although putting him in his room for five minutes so I could pull myself together was important for me). We have found that the thing that works for us is removal of the happy stuff. "If you keep that up your dinosaurs will be taken away" "Please stay with mummy or we will go home" Following through of course being the critical part.

My son has largely outgrown his all day toddler tantrums (THANK GOD), but his ability to create a reaction shockingly disproportionate to whatever he was protesting was legendary....... wrong snack, time to leave, sun cream....... whatever crime I committed at that moment. His tantrums were such high drama, screaming, crying,kicking, throwing himself on the ground. Pure madness and I just know that anyone within a mile of this scene thought I was putting cigarettes out on him or something. Live it to judge it, I say. Anyway my point is that a young child can be screaming and crying because they didn't get the right cookie, and anybody who has survived the terrible twos knows this. There is no way to know why these children were doing this...... was it around dinner time? Most families have a "witching hour" where everyone seems to lose the plot. Has she just asked them for the 50th time to not play near the stove while she's cooking dinner? We have no idea what the story is. The OP didn't even witness it so the info is second or third party. A time out can also be for mother to take a deep breath and regain her composure. My toddler days were 12-14 hours on my own, every day. Ten minutes to clear your head and reassess is hardly earth shattering. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I should add that I think it was the crippling formula guilt I had that made planning and making my son's food such a great experience for me. I hate hate hated that I couldn't control his earliest food and so making him amazing food once he was on solids was my way of taking back that role of provider. I loved everything about it and felt more like a "real" mother at that point (the BF issues took a real toll on my mental health for a while which is why I used the term "real", it's how I felt). So that is part of the puzzle as well.

Sophie-that's entirely possible Fuschia- I think you're right, but would add that that's probably true for most of our parenting choices. I know I followed all of the guidelines exactly as outlined because I'm a bit of an anxious rule follower and listen more to research than opinion. But the "safe rebel" side of me had fun with playing around within the guidelines. That could totally be the story of my life!

It only becomes a control issue if you make it one. I spoon fed when my son liked it, stopped if he didn't. He was welcome to take the spoon himself or eat the finger foods off of his tray. It was all up to him and no control. To be honest, it seems more controlling to just not provide it at all and decide to not let them experiment a bit with all kinds of feeding. We had a great time with all of our feeding experiments because I just let it flow, and personally that feels much more like BLW than making all of these decisions and declarations for the baby. We had a lovely time in that six-seven months learning period. For the record, I actually do have a degree in Developmental Psychology so I have some background in this. There are probably as many opinions as there are types of babies and mums out there, which tells you a bit about reliability. I'm not against BLW at all, but babies are not any more anxious about their mother feeding them with a spoon than they are any number of other new things they are learning. That is a learned response.

"The psychological impact of spoon feeding"? Try reading that out loud without laughing. Are we getting just a tad carried away with these notions? Sorry Sophie, didn't mean you're getting carried away. I mean us as a collective of mothers hell bent on driving ourselves insane.;-)

Good point Saffron. I had never even heard of BLW when my son was a baby (kind of glad actually) and we just experimented with everything. I made a lot of my son's food and loved it because I came up with an easy way to get loads of nutrient rich stuff into him while still controlling the texture. I thickened with grains, potato, mushy rice, quinoa, oats or whatever. The thicker mashes he ate with his hands but he also loved to use his little spoon to feed himself sometimes. If I added herbs (especially dill)or butter and later cheese it changed the meals enough to give variety. Mashed carrots with extra chunk left in them were popular. My biggest goal was to get him used to lots of flavour and texture early to avoid battles later. He was a fantastic eater .......until he turned two! My effort was about an hour in the kitchen twice a week so really painless. Every meal had a bowl/spoon component and finger foods. Watermelon is a good one as it just dissolves in your mouth. A personal favourite was frozen mixed vegetables (the peas and carrots one) that I steamed and kept in the fridge ready for meals. I just put those on his tray. Mushy pears and fruits are great too. Having yoghurt for him to dip things into was a big one (especially pancakes cut into fingers), even plain greek style was okay with him (back then, not anymore!). It could be completely wrong, but I seem to remember someone once telling me to judge what to feed by the teeth the baby had. Biologically speaking they are not really meant to eat chewable food until the teeth for that come in, if that makes any sense? I know personally I would draw the line at meat but that is just my instincts and not science. I think it would have been so much easier to parent ten years ago, when it was just called "feeding" "sleeping" etc.. My friends who have teenagers always laughed at me when I brought up the terms we use now, which helped me get a bit of perspective.

Tamworth is the nearest town and there are quite a few reasonable hotels there. Can't recommend the Globe Inn though. Our room was over the function room during a karaoke wedding. And that was the good part.

Thomasland is actually pretty fabulous if you have a little boy. We took our son for his third birthday and he was absolutely beside himself. Worth it just to see them so excited. Loads to do there too. It's slightly north (I think?) of Birmingham.

Now robots have opinions on parenting? Fuschia I would really listen to the robot. :)-D Too funny.

Brendan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Chippy Minton Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Brendan - what do you mean by "professionals." > Is > > this white collar workers or would you include > the > > skilled working class? > > Sorry it probably not the correct choice of words. > What I meant was people who provide essential > services. Teachers, doctors, policemen etc. > > Civil engineers and chartered accountants can > strike all they like. I'm more inclined to think of essential services as life or death....... certainly ambulance and doctors in hospitals, firefighters, air traffic controllers, police etc. etc.. Teachers and schools are important obviously, but no one will die if a few days of school are missed. Parents are perfectly happy letting their children miss school if it means traveling off peak!

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Sorry to hear how tough it has been for you > Helena. Oh no worries, nothing more boring than a teacher moaning about how hard it is. I actually annoy myself when I do that. ;-) Year end burn out. I agree that the pension formula is unsustainable, but I think that more people would leave if it wasn't the carrot they dangle. Teachers are actually paid quite low in the UK (my salary dropped by roughly ?10,000/yr when I moved from Canada). It feels more and more like a McJob than the profession I spent seven years in university preparing for for.

Because nobody gives a teacher the benefit of doubt. You are second guessed by everyone, all of the time. The students argue and fight over every possible injustice (homework?). Their parents will hunt you down like an animal to defend yourself (because you had the nerve to assign work and expect it to be done at some point). If you are lucky you might end up as a topic of conversation on a local forum! They will take it to admin, who are terrified of the public so will then make you defend yourself more. You see little of your paycheck, the public hates you (read a comment section in ANY newspaper lately?), your employer hates you, the students are taught by their parents that you are one step above the shit on their shoe, and all because 20 years ago you saw Dead Poets Society and were stupid enough to think that it was actually like that and you might make a difference. More like Dangerous Minds to be honest. For eight hours a day I'm on crowd control in the class room, don't get lunch, can't make a phone call to check on my son, not even a cup of coffee most days and I'm thrilled to get it on a good day. I can't go to the bathroom without finding someone to cover for me, which can take hours. In the evening I mark English papers that are so bad that it takes hours and hours. I suppose I could cut corners but I still have my professional pride. I'm so mentally and emotionally tired from not getting ten minutes away from the 35 student classes of grunting, moaning lovlies that I struggle to be remotely human with my small son and husband at dinner. Oh yeah, it's the life baby. Shh don't tell anyone or they'll all be wanting to sign up! Edited to add: Didn't mean to get into a boring rant, uh pensions yeah they're good. But I'm still quitting.;-)