Peckhamgatecrasher

Brendan - will you come round and hoover up the coffee from my keyboard please.

I can hold a boy, will someone tune me?

The Persuaders. Compulsive childhood viewing.

My dear Muley, have you seen his lapels?

Oi Moos! Do ya wanna come and case panama's gaff with me?

Has Mick been watching The Commitments again?

It is a little known fact that Gadarene Flu inspires immense periods of ennui - one has to resort to starting ludicrous threads, which I suspect is catching.

It ended with a fashion faux pas - red stains on the breast are so last year.

It's all in the third phalange.

How to wear this seasons's thigh boots

Thank you Sue, for your kind comments about my London Derriere. No need for a rematch - it's sans pareille.

Alone again, naturally - Darling Gilbert

Watch out for those foxes - they'll be morris dancing next.

If you leave me now - Chicago

No offence intended Jah. It was one of those posts that demanded a smiley to emphasise the jokey sarcasm, but I just can't bring myself to use one.

For ?750 I will give you the answer Ted.

Well done - beer brave is an awfully good thing! Only my opinion but: 1. I don't think you are obliged to consider your aunts and uncles in this, it is not their business. 2. I don't think your father needs to hear this at all but, 3. I think your brother has a right to know. One option is to wait until your father has died. The other is to swear your brother to secrecy - perhaps start by taking him to a pub and draw upon the circumstance to tell him what your mother said. Between the two of you, you need to decide whether to try and contact your sister, bearing in mind that she might feel rejected by your mother's sense of secrecy and shame. Not easy decisions at all and I wish you good luck. I expect there is some sort of organisation that would offer counselling and advice in this sort of situation - perhaps try looking online for such a thing. It seems Barnardos offers this service: making connections

Behind Wickes in Catford is the most amazing chandelier workshop (couldn't really call it a factory). Worth a call to see if you can have a tour. Wilkinson PLC.

Little Willy - The Sweet

Does The Chair possess a TARDIS?

Ha, ha. Brendan's a Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

What a caddish thing to say! What Lady Gooner meant, but was too modest to say, is that because of her alluring charms, no man - whether under the influence or not - has been able to resist her.

I must be more ill than I thought. Am having pachydermal hallucinations.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with my bottom. Is there?

Ooh. Last time I was in the Coronet, you could still smoke in the back seats.