Peckhamgatecrasher

I want that as my epitaph: both noble and disgusting!

I can do surreal - anyone see New Town? That made me laugh a lot.

It'll be a dead end then?

I've been out walking and pondering why it doesn't appeal to me. For one, I like more slapstick humour in the manner of "Miranda" or "Vexed", for example - I just don't do subtle. For another, I think it's the unfortunate nature of Amstall's face - he seems to have a permanent smirk so his acting is not convincing when he's playing angry or upset. Hey ho, horses for courses.

Okay, I've done all the episodes back-to-back and still not enamoured of it. Suppose someone has to ask the Emperor what he's wearing.

Oh dear, Brendan seems to have turned into Shane Fenton.

Oh dear - have I been too precipitate? I wanted to like it because I like SA but it just didn't click for me. Should I try again?

I only managed five minutes of the first episode - it was dire.

How wonderful if it still exists. June 2nd, 2011 is Ascension Day, shall we beat the bounds and small boys?

Belated birthday wishes to Brum and Strawbs.

Please get it serviced every year - my parents had a house fire from a faulty electric blanket, thousands of pounds of damage!

Every taste catered for Asset: Long Pig Gastronomy

Don't be naughty, Mick, you know he's pretending to be a wardrobe now.

Has Jonathan Ross been nicking your username again, David?

Fancy a fag and pint Brendan?

Two posts makes you a stalker!

I pick 1 for Mark and K-9 for Woof. Why should the good guys miss out?

Anyone know where I can get some cellophane jam lids? Tried Sainsburys and Morrisons to no avail.

During labour: food. More food. My midwife wouldn't let me go and eat and you could hear my stomach rumble above the rest of the malarkey. God bless the nurse who bought me a sandwich immediately afterwards.

'Pends if it's David or Jim.

How about a hazel nut/plum expedition tomorrow at 11 am? I'm at Goose Green, is that a good place to meet? Then we could walk or take my old banger to Warwick Gardens?

Charming little matricidal buggers aren't they? We've been having some huge spiders lately, but I don't think they are funnel ones.

Picked just over a pound of wild cherry plums on P.Rye this morning which I shall make into jam supplemented by windfall damsons/plums (how do you tell the difference?) from a tree at the bottom of Warwick Park. The WP tree is extremely bountiful so lots of pickings for everyone. There is also a hazel tree next to it. I've picked up a few that have blown down and they taste wonderful. Does anyone fancy coming with me and a stepladder and looking rather silly to harvest some more? Or have any ideas how to get them before the squirrels? Edited to add: I was thwarted from picking some damsons from the trail that runs by the side of Hornimans - they are right up at the end by the pool. The gates were locked despite the notice saying they are open daily until 4pm. I shan't bother to go up again, so someone else may like to try.

Sense of humour failure this morning? Millwall are a lot shit - one becomes inured to it over the years.

This is the Guardian OBO's take on the matter: 10.44am: To date the word is play will start on time as usual. Pakistan have crept in to Lord's and skipped the warm-up. Feelings are already running high. These are mine for what they're worth: 1. These are just allegations so far. Nothing has been proved. 1. Still, this Test Match now seems entirely irrelevant. I feel for Jonathan Trott and Stuart Broad, but if it is proven the match - and maybe the series - should be expunged. Just my view, but I'd feel much, much better if it was. 2. Mohammed Amir: innocent until proven. But if so... what a tragedy. 3. You can say the bowlers were clearly trying to get England's batsmen out, and that this is just a side issue, but it doesn't work like that. You can't switch your focus on and off. This is endemic. 10.34am: Hello and welcome to - what exactly? Suddenly this - the stuff on the pitch, with England needing six wickets to seal the hollowest of victories - all seems deeply irrelevant. Terrible, terrible news overnight that Pakistan players may have been involved in alleged spot-fixing. Suddenly everyone just feels absolutely terrible about all this. This is of course a matter of sporting principle, but it is also to do with context. this isn't some pointless ODI in Dubai - it's a Lord's Test. I feel like I've had to watch someone giving Nelson Mandela a Chinese burn, or jabbing the Queen in the eye.