zeban

ClaireClaire Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hello, > > I would like to just step in quickly and defend > Pocket, because I am in a similar situation to her > and I have to admit that I agree with her point of > view. I also think she expressed it quite gently > and diplomatically, and I don't understand why > there has been such a negative backlash against > her comment. Ruth did ask for insight, and she was > offered an opinion that was different from her > own. With all respect and goodwill (truly not > meaning to stir things up here), if you really > only want certain kinds of comments or feedback, > maybe you would have been better off asking this > question to a personal group of friends, rather > than an open public forum? > > Claire Thank you so much ClaireClaire, that's exactly the point I was trying to make last night and instead got extremely rudely shot down by another forumite who again didn't like a comment I made on another thread about her and her mother. Unfortunately now admin has hidden all I had to say so I really appreciate someone who feels the same because I know I'm not alone in my point of view. I've come across people becoming extremely aggressive just because they don't like another point of view even though they're choosing to post on a public forum. I could very easily talk about mine and my mothers relationship in the past, my sisters eating disorder, many extremely personal things about myself to show that I do actually 'get it' but quite frankly these things are too personal for a public forum. If I need advice about such things I talk to my friends.

And please don't patronise me thank you!

Excuse me??? Oh my god you're so rude HH, I add to my posts not change them thank you, that's not a crime as far as I'm aware. I'm not interested in having a discussion with you at all only to say this thread isn't about you, and it's a shame that's exactly what you've turned it into- offering your Mum to Pocket and saying she/he'll need therapy after that! my posts are not unhelpful, neither was Pocket's. If you read Pocket's post you'll see it's constructive, neither rude, unhelpful or patronising, so to pick at it to me shrieks of unnessary defensiveness on your behalf.

God you're rude. This thread is not about you, your mother, or your circumstances. Equally you do not know the family history of the OP, and she does seem very unfair in comparing the mother to the MIL. They're different people with different mothering styles and you're often going to criticise and nitpick your own mothers style because of some feeling that she did you wrong somewhere along the line. Remember everyones elses mother is perfect of course! Just because others don't agree with you HH, it doesn't measn they're the ones being unfair, or don't 'get it'. Pocket had some very good and useful advice IMO, and I know others would agree with her/him as others would agree with your views. That's the point of a public forum. I think you're being unnessarily defensive.

HH, how dare you tell me I don't 'get it'- get what exactly? difficult family memebers? you don't know my history remember that. And this is a completely different to your scenario so don't use your personal vendetta against me please! I'd try reading the thread again and then you might undertand pocket comment that is very helpful actually and gives some good advice.

Admin please get rid of this idiot and ban him

I'd never known what he looked like so I googled him... Yes Please!

Definitely LadyDeliah!

I completely agree with pocket

Huncamunca, that article is talking about body language, NOT character. The artciale states: 'women find happy men?in this study, men who were smiling in photos ?significantly less attractive than men portraying other emotions.' It goes onto say: 'None of this is to say that women want to marry pissed-off jerks. ?We were not asking participants if they thought these targets would make a good boyfriend or wife,? said Alec Beall, a member of the UBC research team. If they had asked that, it?s likely they wouldn't have gotten the same gut reactions. '

My Mum always had a range of cereals on offer for us. French toast was a treat every now and then which we all loved

Yes I agree Loz, being 'pretty' described by another is no way enough info about what she can bring to the table. what is she offering?- emotional support/friendship/adventure ETC. Is she looking for some no strings attached dates/or long term relationship/ or marriage/, does she want children etc. IMO no guy who was looking for something serious which I'm assuming your friend wants, would respond to this ad without more info. I don't think someones job/industry is important when it comes down to it. Hobbies/interests aren't either. More important are priorities in life, political and religious views, character traits.

Don't change the post. Many of those should be a given, and if a guy she meets has given her the impression that those things are them but aren't really, your friend will be savvy enough to figure that out upon meeting them. I just wouldn't focus on one area, particularly one that's known for being a family area. And you also need to add a lot more detail about her- I mean how many women can fit her description? many I think, including myself! and you definitely need photos. I'd never respond to an ad without a photo. What are the MOST important qualities she's looking for? and she needs to be honest about this. Have you tried my single friend dating website?

I probably wouldn't bother looking in East Dulwich. With the amount of families around here I'm guessing most of the good ones have been taken. Has your friend tried internet dating? It does sometimes work. Guardian soulmates is a good one.

I think because it's easier to digest- for adults as well

I think a donation is the right thing to do. to charge isn't good. ?1 may seem little to you but for low income families who have more than one child it really adds up if you're already living on a very tight budget.

I'm with Mockney on this one

I take pictures of people when I travel. It's not illegal. I agree with Ant though

I can easily spend 3 hours cleaning my studio flat. 3 hours is no where near enough and the cleaner probably feels like she's drowning. Give her more hours.

It doesn't do your hair any good whereas something with a high/er concentration of argan oil is actually good for your hair rather than just coating it it nourishes it. Argan oil makes it stronger as well as getting rid of frizz, adding shine, and detangling it. I agree with you to an extent but Morrocan Oil is quite expensive I thought and if I'm going to pay alot of money for products I want them to have quality ingredients

I work for an excellent hairdresser who owns her own salon in Clapham, and knows her stuff-has worked with all different brands and hates Morrocan oil because of the ingredients.

Any from Laura Mercier get my vote. Chantecaille is also excellent but extremely expensive

Morrocan oil is really awful, full of silicones and cheap ingredients with only a tiny amount of argan oil. For argan oil use Amargan hair therapy oil. You can buy it online or in some salons

Because he's got home and realised that's what he did! I hope you find her.

ClareC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Otto Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Thanks for posting. I am glad to have the > > information as that is route I often travel, > and, > > send babysitters home via. It is indeed useful > to > > know. I am glad you escaped, and, hope you can > > shake off the bad experience soon... > > > I second that! Thank you, useful post and > content! > > Edited to add, glad your ok! I third that!