gerry

Thanks Kel. I think you are very accurate in your opinion. But what actualy makes a teen go ahead with the pregnancy rather than give the baby up for adoption or have an abortion?

Thanks Chav. I totally agree with following instincts, I made a quick judgment call and maybe I was wrong, but I was safe in the end.

I wonder if the system encourages/discourages teen pregnancies.....does anyone have first hand experience of what they went through as a pregnant teen? I am a counsellor, NOT DOING RESEARCH, just need a different perspective in my work with parents. Thank you.

The woman tried to engage me in conversation which I found odd, three times she asked me to explain where the petrol station was, three times, I told her, then the man appeared as if she was killing time. I was alone and just felt uneasy. They didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave. She also asked me how much the petrol can would cost her.....all odd, I thought.

I just had a very well dressed young woman at my door asking where the nearest petrol station was...that she and partner had run out of petrol....when I pointed up the road, she continued to stand in the door way, while he started to walk up to the door. I said sorry to them and shut the door. Was I being paranoid? Has this happened to anyone else around the Horniman area?

I totally agree with Dulwichmum. Choose your school then move into the catchment area. Look at Horniman's and Dulwich Infants as well as the East Dulwich schools. If you are going independent, Alleyn's Junior is wonderful for a mixed school, and now there is automatic entry into the senior school. I know its difficult to think that far ahead when your child is only 1. Fairlawn and Dulwich Wood Nurseries are also brilliant, but each have long waiting lists. Good luck with your decision.

Although I have been here for over 20 years, I still enjoy it when people ask where I am from...usually it triggers off a discussion about others they know from the same part of the world. Political incorrectness has never entered my thinking!!!

So glad you feel that way too. Brian and Jackie work so hard to make everyone feel welcome, and their food and drink are fantastic....since LL became restaurant row, Springers has somehow been left off the map. More folks should give them a try. spadetownboy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > im with you on springers, gerry. imho the best > drinkery and eatery in east dulwich, the fact > thats its only around the corner from me has a > little to do with that, but in the 15 years i,ve > been going there it has never failed, best wine > bins this side of the channel.

Simon While I agree with you, critics make and break livelihoods all of the time, and no one objects to bad press against actors/directors/singers/dancers/politicians, etc. I think we on the forum can state our opinions and as we saw today, most comments/opionions/stories were extremely positive.

You are very organised and efficient and your ideas are good. However, I just wanted this to be a bit of fun and not too serious for a Monday morning. If others think this should be a permanent fixture, we should make the recommendation to the administrator.

What do you mean?

Thanks Keef. Any negative comments worth posting.......hairdressers? florists? newsagents? I also think the camera shop on LL give good customer service at all times...he will always help put things right if someone is unhappy, also the pharmacist just down from Somerfield is wonderful.

Keef Sorry to be ignorant - what is CPT?

OK then. Thanks for the info. Well, here goes. I think Foxton's estate agents could have better local knowledge with regard to pricing. I think HSBC and Lloyds could provide more staff during peak periods. I agree that Acorn staff need a few lessons, and Sainbury's East Dulwich staff are sometimes less than polite!!! Is this acceptable?

Should we start a list of good and bad customer service around ED? I think plenty of businesses read this forum and should know what we think. Springer's restaurant across from Dulwich hospital ranks 10 (the highest) in customer satisfaction out of all restaurants in East Dulwich for me. Also Dulwich MOT on Hindman's Road, and Bushells for estate agents. On the negative side, can't say for legal reasons!!!!or can we? Please advise....

I think I've got the tail......

Loz I agree. Should we legalise everything that is not good for society, in an effort to control the problem? Should we legalise guns, for example? I think it would be more useful spend money on rehab, because there we have a chance of making a difference...help the victims of drug usage and help them turn their lives around....the in turn help others, and so on.....we do have to think about our kids and their friends, and as adults we have to educate and protect them....they are our future.

We already have an alcohol problem in this country....do we really want to add legalised drugs to that equation? At least the prohibition, ineffectual and imperfect as it is, still keeps a lid on the usage to some extent...I think it would be a disaster if drugs were freely available, sold on ebay, for example!!! I think we need to make it as difficult and costly as possible for anyone to buy drugs...call me old fashioned.

Thank you for being such a good friend to them. I hope things work out for them.

Yes, I can. However, I agree it could be too soon. They could actually see a counsellor individually in the early weeks - as a matter of course, they have that choice. If they feel they want to come together, that's ok as well. The couple decides what's best for them....and only they can judge when they are ready to take the next step. See my PM

I was following on from why the family were encouraging her not to take him back. I assumed that was part of the reason why. But having said that, if they wanted to start working on the relationship while the cocaine dependency was still there, that would come out in counselling anyway. That would be another issue to discuss. Has the cocaine always been part of their relationship? Any other drugs? Alcohol? Sometimes the couple are trapped in relating to each other through drugs or alcohol and don't know how to get out of it and break the cycle. Usually, if one partner stops, the relationship breaks down because they no longer have "that" in common. So its best that they try together to get help.

HI Lozzy, you are in a very difficult position. Are you friends to both of them or just the wife? He would need to address the cocaine problem with a drugs counsellor, easily found, if he would agree to do that. That can be on the NHS through his GP. She also needs support, but her family are too close to the situation to provide it. They are probably adding to her stress and confusion!! A counsellor to see both of them would at least give each of them a chance to be heard, because I suspect (as you said) there is too much anger and hurt there now for anyone to listen.

Lozzy If the couple want to stay together, they will. Usually its too difficult to repair the relationship without some objective support, but if there is commitment and the couple still love each other, they will get through it. Any couple I know who has been through this went to see a counsellor and learned to build a new relationship. If you want a recommendation, PM me. You can't return to the old relationship because that failed, but you can rebuild, keep what was good and start again. Sorry, yes, I am a counsellor!!! I have seen many couples stay together after an affair, and usually they are much happier afterwards, rebuilding something much better than what they had before.

I think its very sad that we have stopped giving our kids freedom to grow up because of all of the street crime around. I wonder how this will affect their independence....posh kids or not. If kids can't walk home from school without being mugged on a daily basis, and usually no one intervenes, are we just encouraging kids not to walk anywhere, not to go out, but sit at home and play computer games or watch TV? Ami, in writing up your research, consider the implications for the future of these kids.....and how adults have let them down.

I think Keef and Maurice secretly work for Robin Hood. I thought that way of thinking went out with the horse and buggy.