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Steve, what happens if they run to their parents and say you are being mean???

I am writing an article and would like any views/comments/situations on how to care/cope/discipline other people's children. I am looking at childminders/grandparents/extended families/mixed families/friend's children at your home, at their home, on holiday together. Any personal thoughts would be most appreciated. Thank you.

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HI Lizzy CBT is cognitive behavioural therapy - using your brain to sort out your feelings, basically. the NHS is very hot on it now because it is the only therapy that has proven data to back up its results. It is very successful in treating depression and phobias, but could also help with self esteem, repeating patterns of behaviour, and PTSS (post traumatic stress syndrome)

Hi Chav CBT is good for insecurity, but I think is would help to think back on family and friends who have somehow broken your trust, and how that feeling has been transferred to our adult relationships. Finding the source of the problem, i.e., parents that let us down, friends who were disloyal, etc. then we can start to understand why that feeling is so deeply embedded. CBT could help if you try and see your partner as transparent, not secretive, ask him or her to be more accountable, stay in touch more often, see yourself as "secure and confident". I hope this helps.

HI Chav Trust is very hard to rebuild once its been broken, but if this partner has not done anything, then you might be working on stuff from your past relationships...or earlier. Usually trust or lack of trust is something we learn as kids. Can you do something to stop mistrusting??? Yes, think of your partner as innocent until proven guilty!!! Searching for evidence could uncover some pretty nasty things, then you must act on them. But relationships can still survive even after trust has been broken.

This is an interesting debate because the rights of the individual to decide what they want are very seldom taken into consideration. A living will is the document which comes close to protecting those rights. Its then up to the family and the medical team just how they will carry out the wishes of the individual.....if anyone knows anything different, please comment. I've seen it work very successfully in the states, not sure how it works over here.

Mark, You are right. I can only speak for myself, and I do hope there are many out there who are not intimidated. However, in NYC I did step in and prevent a mugging in Times Square....so I guess I can't speak for myself!!

I agree Sean. Certain elements of kids are growing up with little or no regard to others, and that is where I would like to see a crime crackdown...

Sean, I am cynical about crime issues, nothing more. I also don't believe a relaxed approach to crime is the answer. If that is obsessive to you, I don't agree.

missd I think everyone agrees that littering is very unpleasant, its the manner in which trinity made her point that was so saintly.

Where were the community wardens? Oh, I forgot, they only police safe areas.

MP Did anyone even challenge the young man who took it? Of course not, we have all become totally intimidated by these young thugs.

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Ted, I don't agree with minimising the thuggish behaviour. That is why it continues...with success on their part. No one stops it, they don't feel challenged.

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Peckham, Yes, good idea, except the next time the little thug sees you....you'd better be a very good runner!!! Let's work on trying to prevent the crime, not try and outwit the muggers!! When my son fought back, he was never approached again.....he felt brave and that has stayed with him...are we teaching our kids to act like cowards???? Chav, what stories!! Glad to hear they all fought back. I think the bullies need to be put in their places, or else they always win.

Thanks for your comments Mark. We once had a local police officer address the kids at school about staying safe - he said to just give up everything without a fight. Guess what happenend? the number of muggings rose even higher....easy targets. I'm not sure what the solution is, but it is terrible that kids think this is normal. My son started carrying a fake wallet around so that he had something to give up when mugged!!!

there is another thread started on this

Oglandia, they have all managed to live with it and normalise it, which is sad. That is the legacy we have passed on to our kids....make mugging feel normal. But thanks for asking. I think your story is far worse, especially for a mother trying to protect her baby.....I am glad he got caught and she moved on. Does she still think about it?

Hi Caz I am really pleased you responded to this....do you have any friends who have been approached?

Well, having started the thread, I guess its my turn to list all that I know about...my friend's son had his bike stolen from under him coming home from school in October, ohter friend's son mugged at West Dulwich Station, my son was mugged cominghome from school but fought him off, so the gang mugged his friend instead, neighbour mugged coming home from work, another mugged on Townley for phone and watch, other boy mugged at knifepoint on Calton Avenue coming out of school,another mugged at bus stop waiting to come home, another mugged coming off train at East Dulwich, I was taking a group of kids to the ENO, gang started rifling their pockets on the train, son was mugged on train for phone....should I go on???? I wish I was making this up.

I have never heard of them, which probably means they don't work around here.

Where do they operate?