gerry

I just saw this thread and felt the need to respond.....all kids are potential victims, whether they carry valuables or not...mugging is the new bullying, except now the bullies get a reward; a phone, an MP3,a watch, a wallet, a bike, a handbag. I don't agree that kids should just give up their valuables without a struggle unless they are totally outnumbered and without witnesses. Muggers now realise they can have anything they want because kids have been told not to struggle.....I don't know what the solution is, but the police need to be around when kids come out of school, ready to face these muggers and break the cycle......

Anything positive????????? Do we only remember the negatives said? My Mom worked full time, raised three children, and still managed to get a hot meal on the table by 6PM for my dad coming in from work himself...who looked after her? I can't imagne how she did it. But then again that was the 50's and all things were possible then.!!!

As a former parent of Alleyns, let me say a few things.....Firstly, as a mixed school, it has proven that boys and girls together can still produce normal, intelligent adults. The reputation is clearly well founded that every student is valued for their strengths - music, art, sport, drama. Other schools have a reputation of being sport jock havens, where those who are not sporty get sidelined and bullied. Second, there is a very positive atmosphere in the school - teachers, students and parents seem to work together very well and often....projects are always undertaken to fundraise for charities, students work for local charities, and there is a bursary fund. I know of several children who have benefited from this fund - local as well as further afield. Third, they shut down their own sports hall to members so that the local community could use the pool etc. more often. The gym as well is used by local groups, and remedial reading groups are held in the primary school on weekends to help a local special needs group. The theatre is holdng a fundraiser for the Dulwich Helpline on 28th March......

Needless to say, I am totally depressed over Brian and Jackie leaving. We had many special events there including our son's 18th birthday party, wonderful dinners and lunches including Valentine's Day, cast parties, Christmas parties, and I continued my weekly burger fix up until this week! Where will I go from here??? We will all miss you and your lovely decorations for each holiday. Let's not forget the gorgeous Springers. Thank you for 23 years of fabulous food, wine and service, and great chats. You always made us feel special.....

I think sibling rivalry is actually healthy, it teaches children how to cope later in life in school, in the workplace, and in a relationship. Without it, they can become unable to share, unable to deal with other personalities, and could go through life thinking all things should revolve around them!! The parents do, however, need to manage the emotions and encourage the children to each speak about their perceptions - even at 5 or 6 - ask them what they think and feel about a situation. We are usually surprised that kids see things from a completely different perspective........why!!!

Let's remember when he started...no one thought he had a chance and look where he is today. Middle America has voted for him as well as both coasts, and McCain is still a worry to most Americans against the war. I would be happy to place a virtual wager on him winning, provided he has Hillary as his running mate. Anyone care to join??

If Hillary is given the VP job, she will help him get elected. Its that simple. If not, he won't get in on his own merit...too much prejudice still in many areas. I would like to think otherwise, but many friends over there say he would struggle.

I think if Hillary becomes his running mate, they will beat McCain. If he chooses the Virginia senator, I'm not sure he will have the wide appeal. When and if Hillary becomes Vice President, the country will also get Bill..... and many believe that is a good thing!!

If she wants to earn a realistic wage and enjoy her summer, child minding is a good skill to have. I don't like to see teenagers exploited on low wages and lots of responsibilities...its not fair on them. My teens earned more than that at 16...that was a few years ago. I would be interested to know the full story - will she be insured against damage, theft, her own safety? Will she ever be there on her own? What about the till and cash.....will she be responsible for cashing up at the end of the day?

As a mom of two teenagers, I would not be satisfied with a low wage and lots of responsibility for them. Will she be working on her own? Will he insure her if the shop gets targetted and things get stolen? What will her working hours be? Frankly, she would be better off earning ?5.00 child minding in the summer months....less anxiety for her and mum!! Just my opinion.....

We took four boys - ages 15-17 - to the Algarve for a week and they loved it. Great hotel (booked the day before we left), lots of night life, safe for the boys to go out wandering, very English pubs and clubs, great beaches. Look for anything near the beach in Algarve and it should be inexpensive and easy to find. have fun!! Fly into Faro airport, coach from there to the hotel. Go for a package so that breakfast is included (if they wake up for it!!)

Pearcesa I am friends with the new owners of No. 5 Colyton......you may want to make an effort to get to know them before you jump to conclusions......

You have all given me so many useful ideas for my article. Is there anyone who would object if I quoted some of what you have said here? I would only refer to you as a "friend" so your words would remain strictly anonymous. PM me if you have any objections.

I think Toronto will be more like London, but still with its share of problems like any other city. Chav what you have described above could be Yorkshire, Devon, or any rural area here in the UK....they suffer from the same problems. Do you ever get back there?

Look at www.relocatecanada.com/Toronto and www.britishexpats.com - there is a forum on moving to Toronto and a recruitment company looking for new employees!!!

Lizzy Firstly, where in Canada is the home? I don't think anyone can generalise about a country as large as Canada, just as you couldn't generalise about the UK. Secondly, if your children are young and they are up for it, just do it. Go for a holiday, spend a few weeks, get a feel for the local economy and the culture, check out the job market, talk to as many locals as you can, seek out other ex-pats and see what they think. Go on a fact finding mission just for fun. I think its a great opportunity to give yourself and the children to live abroad. It will open them up to new cultures and realise that not every street in the world has speed cameras or people desperate to fine you for stopping one inch over a bus lane!! Make a few trips over the course of a year (if finances allow it) and see what you think. See the area in different seasons, check out the local schools. Enjoy the planning!!

I think that Obama's popularity has a lot to do with his platform of "change" and there is no doubt the Americans need change and hope. There is something about him which also seems like a safe pair of hands, a quality which JFK had in abundance. In addition, he is tackling the race issue which JFK managed to do with the help of his brother. Let's hope he surrounds himself with good foreign policy folks (he should ask Hillary to take on that role but you know what the answer would be!!!) There is still huge support for Hillary because many Americans feel that a win for her would also put Bill back in the driver's seat.

Snorky You should have been thanked in both situations, but unfortunately parents feel very threatened when someone else does their job!!!...and in some cases does it better. You are right, in many cases you can't win, but at least you know you did the right thing...for the parent and the child. If I see a child alone in the park, I always ask where is his/her mother/parent/guardian. Usually they haven't noticed they have wondered off.....I think we all have to be responsible when it comes to safety for the children. So please keep doing exactly what you feel is right.

Keef I agree that teachers should not need parenting skills, I did say 'inexperienced teachers', they would benefit from having parenting skills to draw from in their behaviour management skills. But if they don't, that does not make them less capable as teachers. It may just bemore difficult in the early days to cope with unruly students. Teacher training does not always equip new teachers with everything they need in the classroom (as said on the news this morning).

Thank you for all of your comments. Its been very helpful to have the input. Now, one more question. What are the rules when you go away on hoiday with other families? Any nightmare stories where families have fallen out as a result?

HI Maxi It sounds like you are a very caring grandparent...I think you have your work cut out for you. But I agree with you, if your instinct tells you that the children need boundaries and they are living under your roof, by all means you have an obligation and a right to teach them boundaries. I would not hesitate in your situation....without going into details, I am hoping they are still young enough to learn and accept them. Sometimes, other people's children listen more to another adult than they would to their own parents.

Moos, I think that teachers do have a very difficult job, and in some schools inexperienced teachers are suffering because they haven't got the parenting skills to help them through the tough situations. Parents make their job more difficult by not backing them up, confusing the child. What about grandparents? Should grandparents have the right to ignore what parents say when the grandchildren come to stay for the weekend? When it comes to sweets, bedtime, sugary cereals, what role should grandparents take...support the parents and stay consistent, or become the "special" friend to the children and spoil them a little????

Hi CWALD That is very helpful - I feel the same that we should all engage in collective parenting, but I think we are in the minority on this one. Parents tend to feel very protective of their children in these situations.......I agree completely with you and wish other parents did the same. Would you feel happy with other parents disciplining your children (or did you when they were younger?)

Steve, what happens if they run to their parents and say you are being mean???

I am writing an article and would like any views/comments/situations on how to care/cope/discipline other people's children. I am looking at childminders/grandparents/extended families/mixed families/friend's children at your home, at their home, on holiday together. Any personal thoughts would be most appreciated. Thank you.