dulwichmum

Sweet giggirl, I am wearing that dress right now! I had to wear a slip underneath it this morning as the badly finished acrylic fabric causes the most frightful chaffing. I shall be tossing it in the bin before bed time. I am a momshell (naturellement) and career mother. I have a fabulous job in PR and my darling man is a complete banker. We are literally tripping over great stacks of cash piled up and lying all around our home (sigh).

I bought my darling husband one of these silvery key rings a few years ago, and he is really proud of it. It is from a company called Chambers & Beau, and has our children's names and dates of birth engraved on it.

Welcome to West Dulwich! The number 3 goes all night long - how else is the aupair supposed to get home from Tiger Tiger at 3 am? There is an enormous Majestic Wines on Park Alleyn Road and and Oddbins on Rosendale Road, they also sell alcohol (if you like Thunderbird and Bacardi Breezers) at Tesco. The nearest supermarket is in Crystal Palace - Sainsburys, but only go there if you would like to be murdered. Instead, head to Sainsburys in Dog Kennel Hill, East Dulwich. The clientelle look a little like a Thriller flash mob, but they are harmless enough if you wear a handknit alpaca jumper, you should blend in well enough. NEVER go to Norwood unless you would like to catch Hepatitis in a blingtastic nail bar, receive a good kicking, and a parking ticket, and as for shopping in Tesco at Acre Lane (clutches chest) - it is not for everyone; only go there if you would like to observe gun crime, up close and personal.

Holy hell! The bible is full of the sacrificial slaughter of goats and lambs and peppered by the occasional stoning. I hate to think of it being used as a childcare manual! They will be smashing the crockery if a staff member comes to work during menstruation!

Do you know what Plimsoul, it absolutely is every bit as stressful as the state school application process. I have often heard parents say that if they don't get a good state school around here, they "will just go private". Money can't buy places at these schools. The application process ensures that no-one gets to chose the school their child attends in London. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't know the system. I have a very good friend who could not get her second son into the same school as her first because he did not perform on the day of the assessment, and no amount of pleading with the school would make them change their mind. My friend's younger son is now the brightest boy in his year at a different school. The school assessments are a barbaric waste of time. Ask any child psychologist or paediatrician if they could confidently assess a child using the methods employed in these "assessments" and they will laugh out loud.

That is a big shame.

Pebbles is right, you are too late for DUCKS - Dulwich College. JAPS takes boys up to the age of 7. The assessment to get in is very stressful, ditto with Alleyns. JAPS comes up as something like 5 in the Times League Table and Alleyns is around the 20 mark. These places on the league table can partially explain the schools' popularity. I have to say that if you chose to go private, it may be worthwhile to put your son forward for at least four: DCPS, Alleyns, JAPS, Rosemead, Herne Hill or the Villa. When you are choosing, wait until you have offers to chose from. You are in plenty of time to apply for places for all of these. Go and take a look around. I seem to remember something like 8 children being assessed for every Alleyns, JAPS and DCPS place, and that was about 4 years ago. There has been a big jump in the birth rate since then, so probably more pressure on places. Don't be influenced by the league table places that some of the schools are so very proud of, and don't set your heart on one school until you have offers. DCPS doesn't feature in the league tables because they don't force the boys to endure SATS - and more power to them for that. Early years education should be about the journey, not about the acquisition of accolades for the schools. The primary concern of any of these schools should be the welfare of the child, not the reputation of the school. DCPS is a proper boys' school with no airs and graces about it. Go on the tours of the schools, find out what the fees are. Think about whether you can handle the very long school holidays - childcare is a big issue if you must work full-time to pay the fees - the summer holidays alone are from 9th July to something like 2nd September (9 weeks as opposed to about 6 in state schools), and if you feel you can handle it, take the fees one year at a time. You can even pay by the month. The state schools around Dulwich have very much improved recently. The school we were in the catchment for, when our children were due to start nursery, was on special measures - it is now shooting up the league tables. Having said that, if I had tinies to find school places for now, I would still chose DCPS - our son is a gentle and quiet boy and he is thriving there. He has the most lovely friends and everyone is very supportive. If you chose to go private, the schools you apply to, will chose you or not. It makes my flesh crawl to think about the assessments we went through for my daughter.

I much prefer the name Bojangles - that place sounded like fun! What sort of church owns this new nursery? The church of top level discipline and bum slaps?

That name conjures up all kinds of images, mostly of a big slipper and a naughty step.

YIKES! I don't like the sound of that... "Sure and Firm Nursery" run by the church.

New mother, With regard to your second point - regarding how the boys perform in equally tricky scenarios - as I said already, the boys at DCPS nursery automatically progress to DCPS and don't leave until they are 13. It is only the tiny girls that must leave after nursery and are therefor compelled to sit these vile and unnecessary assessments at JAPS and Alleyns. As someone who is professionally qualified to comment, I can confidently inform you that the assessors at these schools do not have the time, resources, qualifications or training to "separate the brighter ones." The school assessments for Alleyns and JAPS are at best a pointless lottery and at worst - distressing and cruel. As legalalien said, these assessments cause no end of anxiety for parents. The common perception that if one has enough money, it is possible to buy anything, does not apply in Dulwich. My daughter only agreed to take up her place at one of these schools because they have rabbits.

Hi maisie12, We have an aupair for these exact hours. It is approximately ?70-?80 a week plus full board for 25 hours of childcare and up to two evenings of babysitting and weekends off. The hours you need allow free time for the aupair to attend school to study English during the day (if you have the room). Check out aupair-world.net.

:)

fhmum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is your nanny's first language English? If not, > you could enroll her in my upcoming English course > for nannies! (Blatant advertising!) Details in the > classified section. Are you not referring to aupairs? I would expect a nanny to have perfectly good English. If you suggested English classes to any of the nannies who I know in Dulwich, they would give you a thick ear.

new mother Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Why don't you ask them for their stats on getting > (girls obviously) into JAPPS/JAPS? > and cf the boys' results... DCPS boys all go on to DCPS, and it prepares the girls for the entry assessments for JAPS/Alleyns etc, but it is actually down to the individual child on the day. My daughter was refusing to go for the assessments as she liked DCPS nursery so much and wanted to stay there with her brother. It was actually just a simple fluke that she went to these assessments at all (I seem to remember promising her a mountain of Haribos). I don't think that DCPS can be held responsible if a tiny child does not get offered a place in JAPS or Alleyns, but I have never heard of one of the girls not getting an offer anywhere, they are not the only super schools around here. Sometimes kids have coughs or colds or just wake up in bad mood or pick up on a parent's stress. Kids of 4 and 5 are shy and so they should be, it is part of their natural development. There were little girls in my daughter's year who were incredibly bright who were simply unlucky on the day. I don't think that JAPS or Alleyns are actually capable of performing anything other than a lottery with these assessments. DCPS simply prepare the little ones by trying to ensure that the process is not too unfamiliar to them and so that the kids look forward to the process like a day out. DCPS also ensure that the parents are fully briefed on when they must apply and where to apply to. I think it would be wrong to ask DCPS for stats, as though you would be assessing proof of their worth, because they are not actually accountable for how the girls perform on the day. Not one of the girls who get offered a place at one of the more competitive schools is any brighter than any of the kids who are not offered a place. It would be arrogant of JAPS or Alleyns to think that they are capable of assessing a child's intelligence using an hour long group assessment by complete strangers when these girls are so young. DCPS is a super school, without any thought of how they prepare the girls for the assessments and that is actually what it should be about. Have you seen the sandpit and play frame at the DCPS nursery? I would pay the fees to play on those myself!

Yes! Food sounds like the ideal gift. There is a shop called "Cook" that just opened on Park Hall Road junction with Croxted Road and they have all manner of lovely frozen dishes, from lasagne to mousakka and everything in between. It is nicely presented too.

My daughter and son went to DCPS nursery just a couple of years ago. They both adored it. I couldn't speak highly enough of the school. The facilities and teachers are second to none. Freya went there for just one year as I could not part with her for the first year (she just seemed so tiny and I selfishly decided to keep her for myself). They prepare the girls for school assessment, and you will be guided through the process. Freya was offered places at Alleyns, JAPS, Herne Hill and Sydenham. She adored the boys in her class and had no problem at all, if anything, they made a huge fuss of her. Your daughter will thrive there.

Dear expat, Do you want to see the one of her with or without the pink cowboy hat with spangle trim?

The claims are complete and utter trash. My lardy monster in law has had two pairs and they do not provide a work out of any kind. She is still a lardo.

All that I have to say regarding the accusation that caused this thread is that I feel my last aupair was guilty as charged... I fired her of course. She had not right to unload my dishwasher in a white string bikini - damn her.

Ha! I almost fell off my chair. God that made laugh. He is such a creep!

Lovely AllyCat, I have flown first Class to Jamaica - about ten years ago, and when a bride checked in with her dress, she was automatically upgraded with her groom (naturally I complained). Further, they hung her dress carefully in the special closets they have in first. What I would recommend is that you purchase an over the door hanger for in the hotel. You know, something like this, but for a very thick door - just to make sure that you can let the dress spread out when you arrive. http://www.organizeit-online.com/images/1657.jpg

Dear missd, An aupair is not a nanny or a cleaner or a housekeeper. Aupairs are generally students who come to live in your home for approximately 1 year, who are generally here to study English, and in exchange for full board and lodging (they live as part of your family), and pocket money of approximately ?70 per week, they will provide you with 25 hours of childcare and associated light house work. I have never heard of an aupair turning up at your home at 8 and leaving at six. They generally do five hours per day (ours works from 7 - 9 am and from 3.30 to 6.30), and they are not to be left in charge of children under 2 and a half. They go to language school during the day. It is reasonable to ask for two evenings per week of babysitting and they must have two full-days off at the weekend. People who expect the aupair to work longer, take sole charge of little ones, and do the laundry and cleaning for the family, are generally abandoned with no notice quite early on. An aupair is a great solution when kids are school age and could do with a big sister type of family member, who allows both parents to work full-time and do the school runs. And I agree with bonce, I have heard of families setting aside separate food for the aupair which is not the quality that the family eats themselves, but when that happens, the aupair will not be happy and she may leave. Having an aupair can be a bit like adopting someone elses teenager - lots of slamming doors, drunken behavior, even stealing from you, BUT, if you do your research properly and interview throughly and are honest about the job you are advertising, you can find someone who will bring great energy and creativity into your children's lives. I wouldn't waste time with agencies as they are more trouble than they are worth. Aupairworld is a terrific site.

Lovely Sally676, the admin is usually very fair handed and tolerant on here. I have been told off more than once, but I can see where he is coming from and the value in what he does. If you want to really let rip, you should try Netmums. They are breathtakingly rude, like one of those dysfunctional families that keep re-enforcing eachother's bad behavior.

Links of London do some lovely things to keep. Like this keepsake box, which I have used to keep first teeth! The piggy box is lovely too, and my two children use theirs. Links also do an amazing Noah's ark which is very expensive, but not much use really. My son was given an amazing Noah's ark, which is wooden and special and perfectly made and will be kept as an heirloom. That, I think, was the best gift he was given, as it is a story from the bible and a lovely toy. i wonder if a boy of five would be a little old for this though. They grow so fast, I don't know.