redjam

Thanks for posting this - I just booked tickets for our family and a friend's and saved a fortune!

Yes, only just noticed that Panther Cars had closed on North Cross Rd. Has it gone out of business or just moved? I have to say I've found them hugely unreliable in the past (left me stranded on two different occasions when I'd pre-booked them) so not altogether sorry it's gone. But would be a nice little site for someone - surprised it's not sold. I wonder why too - was it very overpriced? And another estate agent on LL, really??? This is getting silly.

I was surprised to discover the other day that the homeware part of Mrs Robinson has a little menswear section at the back of the shop - think this is new? Not cheap, but looked like a decent selection. And Ed is pretty good for men's clothes.

Ah, I was wondering how long it would be before anyone mentioned the W word...

I did a bit of research into this as I think my five-year-old daughter would also enjoy doing street dance. This is what I've discovered so far: www.getdan-n-dance.co.uk - St Barnabas Hall, Dulwich Village, Weds 4-4.50pm (4-7 years - there are other classes for older/younger kids) www.theboogieclub.co.uk - Push Studios - but couldn't get the timetable to work when I clicked it Dizzee Rascalz - Copleston Centre, Weds 4pm - can't find a website, but this from elsewhere on the forum: Phone Netty on 07949163127 Or email Netty at [email protected] If anyone has been to any of these classes and has feedback or extra info (or knows of any others), I'd love to hear!

Er, what for? The comment about second-hand clothes? Um, that was a J-O-K-E...

Do you mean the Blue Brick Cafe on Fellbrigg Road? Yes, how funny there'll be two veggie cafes opening so close together. Good to hear that SMBS has taken over the old Chopsticks site. Interesting about the old offices on NX Rd - I'll be sad to see a chain move in to that street. But it all sounds rather unconfirmed so I guess it's a bit early to bring out my protest placards. And hooray for a 'high-end' second-hand clothes shop! We wouldn't want just any old second-hand clothes in ED after all...

Being a nosey parker with an irrational hatred of empty shops, I am intrigued by the first few signs of life in a few empty premises on LL/NX Rd. Anyone have any inside info about the following? Old Woolwich near crossing by Londis: A new boarded-up door has appeared! Can this mean something??? Old Chopsticks on LL: Definitely saw someone working there the other day... Anyone know who's taken it on? Old offices opp. Blue Mountain Cafe on NX Rd: I see a 'Sold' sign has gone up. Am pathetically excited at the prospect this might become a shop or shops as it's such a big site. Anyone heard who's bought/rented it? Premises next to flower shop near Goose Green: Is this still to be a dentist? It's taking forever. Old stationer's near Goose Green: I gather from elsewhere on the forum this is to be a second-hand clothes shop? Can anyone confirm this? Old Threshers shop on LL: Sadly, no signs of life in this one at all... Ditto the old video shop, presumably too early to know who's taking on this premises yet (if anyone). Anyone know of any others?

My very unscientific view on this is that the closer the age gap, the better/more fun it is for the children growing up, but the harder it is on the mother in the early years (though this then gets easier as they grow up as the kids can amuse each other). My husband and I both have big gaps between our siblings and ourselves, and consequently have never been very close to them, so we chose to have kids fairly close together so they'd have more chance of being 'friends'. But we took the decision knowing that it would be harder work in the short term, with a baby and young toddler. So far, though, it's paid off and now (age 5 and 3) my girls really do get along brilliantly. Having said all that I can certainly see all the advantages if we'd gone the other route that Molly mentions above. Pros and cons either way, as ever...

When I was pregnant I would make it very clear I was in need of a seat - I didn't generally ask outright, but would unbutton coat, stick out bump, put one hand in arch of back and assume a martyred expression - that generally did the trick. I get absolutely enraged when people (esp. young, apparently healthy men) don't offer seats, not just to pregnant women, but to the old/infirm, or women carrying young kids. One time when I was heavily pregnant I had a seat on the tube, and an extremely elderly couple got on - white hair, hunched over etc. Both of them were being flung around on the strap in the middle of the carriage once the train got moving. I could only bear it for a few seconds, so after trying and failing to get anyone else's eye I got up to offer the old lady my seat (despite me being a good seven months pregnant myself!). Clearly everyone must have seen this transaction take place, but not a single fellow passenger then came to my aid or to the old man, who was still forced to take his chances hanging on to the strap! Unbelievable. Apart from this memorably depressing experience, generally I found people very helpful once they'd realised I was sporting a bump. I think most of the time people just wander round in a world of their own so it's inattentiveness rather than laziness that stops people offering.

A mate of mine gave birth in McDonald's carpark on the North Circular - pure class. The poor girl was on her way to hospital but they were stuck in a hideous traffic jam so that was the first place they could turn off and park up. Shockingly the McDonald's staff were all aware of what was going on but no one so much as offered her a coffee afterwards!

Yes, infuriating - it's always just when we're reading stories and 'winding down' and of course then I always end up having a boring argument with my eldest daughter as to why she can't have an ice cream at quarter to eight at night...

Do you think? I had rather a different gut reaction, along the lines of poor girl, how must it have felt being 'intensively tutored' at such a young age, then presumably having to struggle to keep up with her academically more gifted peers once she'd got into the school? Surely there's more to good parenting than just wringing every last drop of academic success out of your child, despite their natural ability? Might she have been happier in a less pressured, less academic environment, even if it meant gaining slightly less impressive A-level results? Would that really have mattered in the long run? Sorry, contentious view I know, and obviously I don't know the parents or child in question, but I really do feel strongly that 'success' in your child's life doesn't simply equal good academic results + high-flying/high-pressured career. More to life than that, surely?

There are always boys whenever I've been on a Friday, though it's fair to say they're outnumbered by girls. But the dances aren't especially 'girly' (apart from maybe one bit where you do 'good toes and naughty toes' like in ballet) and there's lots of charging about galloping etc so the boys who do go seem to enjoy it.

A friend of mine's little boy (age 2) went through the same thing - he kept wandering about at night once he got his own bed, appearing downstairs or going into his sister's room and waking her up. Eventually my friend put a stairgate on the boy's bedroom door, and it seemed to do the trick, along with a bit of determined ignoring on his parents' parts. He still wandered about but he quickly realised it wasn't so much fun if he couldn't create mischief and didn't have an audience. His mum used to sometimes find him curled up asleep on the floor when she went up to check on him (on one memorable occasion in the wardrobe), but after a couple of weeks he stayed in his own bed every night. The other idea is to think about reward charts (or conversely do the old Supernanny trick of taking away a favourite toy every night she messes about). I did a reward chart for my eldest daughter at around that age when she started getting up at the crack of dawn (I also used a bunny alarm clock to let her know what was a reasonable hour). I remember feeling a bit dubious that she was old enough to understand what a reward chart was, but actually I think the concept of rewards must be hotwired into children's brains at birth, as she totally got the concept of it immediately. Let's face it, if you say 'Do this and you get chocolate', you catch on to it pretty quickly. I'll worry about the future eating disorders at a later date...

Over the summer there was only one 10am class at the Constitutional Hall on Fridays, but last week Charlene said that as of tomorrow she will be running both the 10am and the 11am classes again, as it was starting to get busier again. I'm guessing it's still a drop-in arrangement tomorrow as it's still the summer holidays, though normally you have to book in blocks of four (you can take them over a period of five weeks).

Thanks, Fuschia. That's all good advice, esp. the bit about us all eating together, adults and kids, which we don't do enough of at the moment. I think that would help on a lot of fronts. There is also clearly a toddler power struggle that I'm dealing with at the moment - for example, last week D2 announced she wouldn't eat chicken any more, and refused it for three meals, but tonight she was in a good mood so ate up the whole dinner and specifically asked for more 'yummy chicken'! Sigh ... oh well, at least I can be thankful I don't have to deal with vegetarianism yet (I speak as someone who turned veggie myself in my teens - my poor long-suffering mother...).

This is a problem I've been pondering over for some time and I'd be interested to hear the views of other parents who've faced it. I've got a five-year-old who eats relatively normally and has been cautiously branching out into trying more 'exotic' food out of her own choice recently. Trouble is, my three-year-old is very fussy and in fact seems to be going through a phase of rejecting many of the very basic foods she used to eat (she's suddenly taken against chicken, for example). What to do? Most of the time I tread a path of least resistance and offer the old favourites that I know they'll both eat, if I'm lucky. But even that doesn't always work with the younger one, and I don't want to stop the older one having the confidence to try new foods. Occasionally I will try something different which I know my youngest won't like - I offer it her anyway, then when it's refused I give her something like fruit/cheese and a slice of malt loaf. But I worry it's not a 'proper' dinner, and it's invariably a stressful mealtime for her. I really don't want to get into cooking different meals for them every night, both for practical reasons and also because I don't want to end up with a long-term picky eater, so I feel I have to keep trying to pushing the boundaries (also sets a terrible example for the older one if I let the youngest have the same meals week in week out as she'd probably prefer to do that herself given half a chance). All this is compounded by the fact that my youngest is very underweight for her age, though she's been on the same centile since she was tiny and the docs don't seem to think there's a medical reason behind it. But it makes me less relaxed about missed mealtimes than I might otherwise be. Any thoughts, ladies (and men) of East Dulwich?

My eldest daughter used to go to this and now I attend with my youngest - I am doomed to spend the rest of my life doing the circle dance and silly shake... Seriously, though, it's quite good fun and both my kids love(d) it, though I find the lack of change in the routines week after week mindnumbingly boring. But of course kids don't think that way and enjoy the familiarity. It's very informal - it's a mix of dancing and just generally hoofing about, though they do a special track each week which changes every four sessions or so which features a different dance style (cowboy/rock and roll/showgirl etc). They bring out props like streamers and bells or pom-poms when the attention starts to wander from the dancing. My eldest child followed the routines religiously when she did it but my youngest is more anarchic and tends to run around doing her own thing, but it's not a problem as long as that week's class isn't too small (when it tends to have a disruptive effect on the others). Two and a half is a good age to start. Why don't you take up their offer of a free trial before you commit? Note: during the school holidays there's only one class on Fridays, at 10am in the Constitutional Hall. It's on a drop-in basis, so no need to book (tho' if you want a free trial, you should probably phone Anne-Marie first). I also used to go to Little Bubbles, which is a similar sort of thing though less dancey than Diddidance. Again, both my kids loved it though I found the lady occasionally breaking into full-throated West End-style song a bit disconcerting...

It is a bit rubbish, as it feels like we're being penalised for living in south London with its bad tube connections. If we lived anywhere else in London, we'd be able to get in and around town easier for free with kids as we'd all be on the tube. I tend to feel that if we can use an Oyster card here it should be free for kids like all the other methods of transport that use Oyster cards. Let's march on SMB Jones with our Bugaboos and scooters.

Oh my God, you lot are all parenting paragons. My kids would have CBeebies on in the background 12 hours a day if I let them, with the remaining 12 spent playing on the CBeebies website. While I try not to leave the TV on too long, it's quite difficult when both of them are so adept at using the remote, DVD player and i-player on the computer - they are perfectly capable of putting it on while I'm out the room (they're aged 5 and 3 now, but they've both been able to do this for well over a year). Most of the time I don't mind as they tend to get distracted from it after a shortish while, so I'll just nip in and turn it off while they're not looking. But it can come in handy - my eldest child (then two) managed to miss the entire homebirth of my second daughter as she was so engrossed in Numberjacks, which was actually quite useful. It was a quick birth, and I was upstairs - she seemed not to notice my screams... Overall, I can't say it seems to have done them much harm - they were both early and clear talkers, and are not overweight or inactive. In fact, the first time my youngest daughter got herself out of bed at the crack of dawn, wandered downstairs and figured out how to turn the telly on, I rolled back over in bed and thought, 'Ah, my parenting work is done...' (Well, until she's old enough to learn how to bring me up a coffee.)

Good post, sb, agree with all the points you mentioned! When I'm working I feel guilty I'm not doing more with my kids, when I'm not working I feel guilty that I'm not doing my job properly. As it happens, I've just left my salaried job and gone freelance so I can work from home now, and I was hoping this might help - but so far the main effect is that I feel pulled towards my pile of work in the corner of the room when I'm meant to be giving the kids my attention. I consider myself a feminist but how did we end up in this mess? My pre-feminist mum never worked after my brother and I were born, and I don't think she felt a passing minute's worth of guilt over it her entire life. We are truly our own worst enemies sometimes.

I know three weeks seems like eternity when you're in the middle of it, but it's really just the blink of an eye in life terms. If your son is already using the loo confidently (albeit when you remind him), I think he's actually doing brilliantly, so it would be a shame to undo your hard work by letting it slide then having to start all over again in a few months. Believe me, some kids hate using a loo at all, in any circumstances, and some kids freak out at the whole concept of poos/wees! So from the sounds of it he's already pretty much halfway there. My first daughter potty-trained in less than a week, but she's one of those fastidious types who always hated mess, so it was an easy transition for her. My second daughter, however, is a bit of a dreamer who is very easily distracted. So potty-training with her took a good three months, because she would just get absorbed in what she was doing and forget to mention she needed a wee/poo. Three months of coming home with a daily Bag of Shame from the nursery, containing all her soiled clothes! But needless to say, just when I thought I was going to jack it all in, she started being dry every other day, then two out of three days, then five days a week... And before you knew it she was completely dry. So my advice is: hang in there! You will get there in the end. One other thought: it's much easier to potty-train in the summer, which is another reason for sticking with it now. If you leave it and try again in a few months, you'll be getting into autumn. I started potty-training my second daughter in the autumn, and I have too many unpleasant memories of her clammy wet tights...

I grew up in Surrey - massive garden, detached house at the foot of the North Downs, a huge common outside the front of the house. It was lovely as a small child but I was bored out of my mind as a teenager. Until I was old enough to drive all the social life seemed to consist of hanging out at the local crappy shopping centre while smoking Consulates and hoping one of your mum's friends didn't come past and spot you. It was difficult to get anywhere without being ferried around by your parents as the public transport was so hopeless. I did love the clean air and big skies where I grew up and I feel sad that my kids won't have that. But I think in the main we have the best of both worlds in East Dulwich - a nice, small-town community vibe, but all the culture and excitement of one of the world's best cities right on our doorstep. And I love the idea that my kids can nip round to their friends' houses so easily here - where I grew up it was at least a twenty-minute walk to, well, anywhere really. It was actually quite isolating. So, in my opinion, grass is not always greener, honest.

Ooh, one other thing. Take loads of plain but nutritious food, e.g. fruit, cereal, milk, bread, ham, cheese etc for sandwiches, as we found our kids turned their nose up at a lot of the festival food on offer and in any case you don't want to be giving them chips/noodles three times a day. I know this sounds blindingly obvious but I didn't think about food at all other than snacks, as I just assumed we'd buy what we needed from the various kiosks. However, luckily my partner shoved in some basics at the last minute and they were invaluable for the kids. Also I think it's nice for kids to have something 'easy' and familiar to eat for at least one or two meals a day, then you can throw them a veggie curry curveball later on... Mr Tumble was ace at Camp Bestival last year - it was like the Second Coming. I've never seen so many hyperventilating children. Hope you've got your fancy dress outfits sorted!