redjam

Well said, I sometimes wish I could go round hugging all first-time parents and saying, 'Don't worry, chances are everything will be fine!'

[quote name=GAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! The Back to Sleep campaign has been the most succesful public health campaign ever' date=' in this country and around the world. You and your siblings, and the rest of us here were the lucky ones.] Gubodge, I quite agree, and of course I didn't mean to imply you should willfully ignore the official advice, esp for a young baby. But if we're talking about a seven-month-old baby, who sleeps better on his front, and he's in a well-ventilated room with no smoking etc, then I really think not much need to worry. The OP is clearly a sensible woman who knows about the risks and has tried all the alternatives - surely bringing up kids is a constant process of gathering information about risks and making decisions based on it? Of course everyone has to make their own personal decision about these issues but if I was in her position, I'd judge the risk as being fairly small at this age.

My mother always gleefully tells me that when my brother and I were newborn babies, the medical advice was to put us to sleep in a warm room, face-down, covered in blankets AND a duvet! Oh, and of course my mum smoked like a chimney, as so many people did in those days. Needless to say, my brother and I both survived, as did the vast majority of our generation. That's not to undermine your natural worry, but just to reassure you that babies are generally hardy little souls. As Fuschia says, by 7 months you're well past the major risk age for SIDS (I'm sure your baby can lift his head slightly, even if he can't roll over) and as long as you're not chain-smoking cigarettes over him in a boiling hot room I'm sure he'll be fine. As an adult I still always sleep on my tummy - by far the most comfortable way to get to sleep, even if you do wake up with a cricked neck in the morning! So I'd say go for it and personally I wouldn't go near those monitors that check the heart rate - from what I've heard of them from friends your baby will sleep through blissfully but you'll be up every ten minutes every time the damn bleeper goes off for no reason.

My mother always gleefully tells me that when my brother and I were newborn babies, the medical advice was to put us to sleep in a warm room, face-down, covered in blankets AND a duvet! Oh, and of course my mum smoked like a chimney, as so many people did in those days. Needless to say, my brother and I both survived, as did the vast majority of our generation. That's not to undermine your natural worry, but just to reassure you that babies are generally hardy little souls. As Fuschia says, by 7 months you're well past the major risk age for SIDS (I'm sure your baby can lift his head slightly, even if he can't roll over) and as long as you're not chain-smoking cigarettes over him in a boiling hot room I'm sure he'll be fine. As an adult I still always sleep on my tummy - by far the most comfortable way to get to sleep, even if you do wake up with a cricked neck in the morning! So I'd say go for it and personally I wouldn't go near those monitors that check the heart rate - from what I've heard of them from friends your baby will sleep through blissfully but you'll be up every ten minutes every time the damn bleeper goes off for no reason.

A*se. My kid's at Heber. Honestly, does seem a bit bonkers to be so strict when the kids are so little and so much of the day is effectively spent playing. I know kids are absorbing information all the time at school but as previous posts have mentioned, you can also genuinely learn a lot by travelling abroad (esp. as we're visiting relatives in this case, so it's not just lounging by a pool but actually seeing how real lives are lived in a foreign country). Also my partner and I do spend hours reading with our kids and doing educational-type play at home, so the school gets a lot of support. Honestly, I'd be tempted to take the ?50 fine - some of the package deals we were looking at were ?1000 more in the summer holidays as opposed to term-time! Grrr, looks like it'll be a summer spent in the UK next year then...

Pah. That's my favourite song, and they didn't do it on Wednesday (stayed for both encores). But we had both slow and fast versions of another song (sorry, forgotten which one) - which I thought was a bit unnecessary!

Coming to this thread late, I also went to see them in Brixton last week. They sounded as great as ever, but I did feel they milked the encores (and where was 'Gigantic'?). Loved the background visuals, though - was that Un Chien Andalou at the beginning? The whole thing did make me feel old, though. There were a bunch of mums in front of me discussing babysitting arrangements and little Johnny's first day at school while we were waiting for the band to come on - bet you don't get that at Dizzee Rascal gigs (I speak as a fully paid-up member of the babysitting club myself before anyone thinks I'm having a go). Realised all the gigs I've seen this year - Blur, The Specials, The Pixies, several of the bands I saw at Camp Bestival - have been going for 20-odd years. Had a sudden realisation it's the equivalent of old ladies going to tea-dances and being stuck in a timewarp... Had a proper student hangover the next day though.

All interesting and helpful comments, thank you. I agree it sounds like a good idea to raise it with the teacher/head first, though am worried we haven't yet had much of a chance to prove that we are 'good parents' and committed to the school etc, and ironically the longer we leave it to book the less financial saving we'll make going away in term-time. Also sounds rather scary to demand an appointment with the head - the thought of it makes me feel like I'm back in school myself! I guess it's all part of adjusting to the lack of flexibility in school culture - working as I do in a fairly laid-back company with relatively flexible hours and an understanding boss, I'm finding this new influence in our life quite strange.

We're long overdue a visit abroad to see some relatives next year, so I was idly browsing some holiday deals last night and was genuinely shocked by the huge difference in price between term-time and school holidays. I know this is hardly news, but it's the first time we've had to deal with it as our eldest child has only just started Reception. I'd be interested to know what views people have about taking a week off for a holiday in term-time? Has anyone done this? Do you just front it out when you come back or do you pretend the child has been ill all week (and what to do about the tan)? Were there any repercussions from the school (is it even legal to take them out of school for a holiday)? Any teachers out there who have a view? My own feeling is that in primary school it doesn't seem like the end of the world if they miss a week's schooling but I can see it might be disruptive to the teacher if they've got lots of kids coming and going at different times. So it's a bit of a dilemma...

Maybe too late, but I can recommend a chap called Alan Wright (www.phonesockets.co.uk) who came and did exactly what you described for us the other week (move a BT socket from kitchen to living room by running the line under the floorboards and wiring in a new box). He was great - punctual and friendly. Cost ?85 total.

Bobbaz - Cherry Tree Montessori is the one on Lacon Road. Were you thinking of Blossoms Montessori (on St Dunstans Grove)? That one is open till 4. My daughters go there and it's fab.

Last time I asked, the Soup Dragon lady was no longer doing the haircuts there. A great shame as she was good and cheaper than the 'proper' hairdressers round here.

My kids (4 and 2) also love doing the poses off Waybuloo. I was thinking about getting them a yoga video from Father Christmas, but the ones on Amazon seem to get mixed reviews. Anyone bought a yoga vid they would particularly recommend (or not)? Will check out the classes mentioned above, too, thanks - though not sure my kids would last the distance with a whole class...

Wow, there was me thinking they were quite rare, especially in London. They're everywhere! Will go out hunting for one this weekend. No worries about the fruit, reetpetite, I've eaten mulberries before and they're very bitter (OK in jelly) - but it's just the leaves I'm after now. Thanks very much, all.

Fantastic, thanks so much. I love this forum - no request too random...

I know this is a slightly strange request, but I'm looking for some mulberry leaves for an art project thingy I'm doing. Anyone noticed any mulberry trees in our local parks or have one in their back garden? They'd be fruiting around now. It's the big, almost heart-shaped leaf I'm after, with a slightly zigzag edge (sorry, sure there are technical horticultural terms for all this...). Thank you!

Following up references scrupulously is very good advice - I always find it so awkward to initiate and put it off, but it really is the quickest way to flush out any potential problems - you can tell so much from people's tone of voice if you ask them lots of direct questions. But other than that, as Moos said, just go with your instincts - you need to have someone who you feel shares your values and will fit into your household (strict/relaxed, noisy/quiet, sociable/self-contained or whatever) and someone that you feel comfortable to 'take charge' of. This latter point can be quite tricky as with a first child it's tempting to go with someone who seems to know it all, but the downside of that is that they might end up leading the choices about how you want to bring up your kid, which might not be a good policy in the long-term. Equally you don't want some timid little mouse who doesn't take any initiative of their own! Either way, don't fret - you will always be your child's parent and the most important person in his/her life - nannies/childminders will come and go but you are the constant. Whoever you choose will form an attachment with your child and provide an alternative perspective on the world, and although it's painful leaving your child at first it's all part of the process of gently teaching them independence and socialisation, so I truly believe it's not something you should feel guilty about. Good luck finding someone wonderful...

I've tried one of these out in the feeding room in Mothercare and they are very comfy - but really, ?150, not to mention all that space, for a rather ugly-looking chair solely designed for breastfeeding? I just sat in a regular armchair with a v-shaped cushion and it was fine for during the day, or lay on my side in bed at night in the lovely snuggly warm. Obviously if you've got the space and money, go for it, but I do think new parents are pressured into buying loads of stuff that you don't honestly need. I speak as someone who parted with ?20 for a white towelling changing mat cover - what was I thinking? (Actually I could tell you what I was thinking when it first got covered in baby poo stains, about five days in, but it wouldn't be printable.) I'd think about whether you're really going to be using it six months down the line, and if not, resist or go for gwod's suggestion and buy second-hand. People have been managing to breastfeed without these things for many millennia!

I think you have to judge on the individual nursery. My kids have been in two Montessori nurseries - one extremely good, the other, well... Montessoris seem to use a different range of teaching materials (lots of very tactile wooden and textured objects, raised letters, beads for counting etc), they tend to be smaller, and they emphasize following the child's interests and letting them set the pace (though mind you a lot of 'normal' nurseries seem to do that too). I'd go with your instincts and choose a nursery where you like the staff rather than the individual teaching method - in the end, all nurseries are far more about messy painting, reading stories and interacting with other kids and that's the thing that counts, so as long as you think the staff are good and caring that's the most important thing, in my humble opinion! Good luck...

The Post Office queue is hardly representative - it cuts out all office workers for a start, as most of us who work in offices use their company's own postal system if we want to sneakily send a parcel (um, well I do anyway). I'd have thought Somerfield's on a Saturday afternoon would be more typical - which of us hasn't popped in there when we've run out of an essential?

We are spoilt for choice round here - I spend far too much of my disposable income in Ed, so I think they'll be getting my vote. Just remember to actually post your vote on the Telegraph website or it won't count - I don't think I did the link properly last time so here goes again: Telegraph Shop Awards

I'm not sure whether the Daily Telegraph is much of an East Dulwich newspaper but Mr Redjam has been helping to set up this year's Telegraph Magazine Shop Awards, which has a big focus on local retailers. Given the number of excellent independent shops in our area this seems a good opportunity to support some of them (and your favourite chains too - Somerfield, anyone?), so if you think it's a good idea then vote online at telegraph.co.uk/shopawards - and spread the word. Some nice prizes too.

Our lot enjoyed the fair though it was rather smaller than I expected. But the kids loved joining in the fancy dress 'parade' (even though our little one was going a different direction to all the others) and the older one enjoyed the sack race (even though she was still on the first leg when everyone else had finished, bless her - thanks to the organiser who picked her up and helped 'jump' her back, otherwise we'd still be there now). The bouncy castle also went down well, of course, and we liked all the very well-behaved doggies. Fun to go to a more traditional fair for a change - thanks very much for organising!

It's worth checking with your home insurance company that employer's liability is covered - mostly it's already included in your normal household insurance, or you can add it free of charge. But you need to spell out what the circumstances are, otherwise they might think you're running a business from your house and whack up your premiums accordingly. It's basically just to cover you being sued if the nanny suffers an injury in your home - I was more concerned about this than I might otherwise have been when we first took our nanny on as we were having a loft conversion done, and I had this nightmare vision of a huge beam of wood falling on her head as she left the house one day... So worth checking you're covered! We used Nannytax which is expensive, but I found them very helpful with things like contracts etc. Also you get ?100 government rebate for filing online (which Nannytax do) so as I remember it that's 'saved' from the ?260. I wonder whether the other companies are including the rebate in their fee, if you see what I mean, otherwise it's a big discrepancy in price and I shall feel I was ripped off!

I've done two nannyshares with two different families and I'm a big fan of them, though I do think it's important that you share with another family that is generally fairly easygoing and not too rigid about how they want their baby brought up. In general I feel if you've got a decent nanny she will figure out how to cope with routines, two crying babies, activities etc - I realise it's hard work, but she's the professional and that's what she's paid to do, and at the end of the day she can hand them back to the parents and go home to get a good night's sleep (unlike parents of twins!). So although there'll undoubtably be tough days, it's certainly doable. In my previous share arrangement it was always based at the other house as it was bigger; this time our house was bigger so it's been based in ours every day. Definitely pros and cons each way (Mrs Lotte has summed up well) so the alternate weeks idea could work well if both houses are the same size. I used to worry about my child being based in the 'other' house and not at her own home each day, but of course it very quickly became a second home to her. I wouldn't worry too much now about it all going wrong - I think you have to go into it with a 'let's try to make this work' attitude and if it doesn't then you'll probably want out of the whole thing anyway. Never heard of two families falling out with each other but both still wanting to keep the nanny - when it's up and running you don't tend to see much of the other family anyway, and your relationship is much more with the nanny. One of the nanny tax agencies should be able to help you draw up a contract which will address a lot of the issues you raise, and it's a chance to think these things through then. But generally it's in everyone's interests to make things work and remember that things change constantly as kids grow older so even if certain aspects are tricky when they're babies they will get easier in time. Good luck!