Michael Palaeologus

Would you recognise Hibbs' shapely ....... pocket?

*Please, if you are going toss things about - spell them right - its GRENADE or Mills Bomb in the Great War, you must remember that :))* *Dusts self down, flicking shards of glass and globs of mercury across the Quiet Room* *Tsk, a trifle testy DM, are you feeling chesty?* *How about a Vicks rub down?* *Dons kevlar jacket and jock strap and pulls out huge tub of fragrant gel - approaches the reinforced bed, again*

Mr Flanagan was enjoying a pint outside the Uplands this very evening.

*Lawks, I think that a temperature needs to be taken* *How would James Herriott tackle this?* *Extracts enormous thermometer from carpet bag and strides toward the recumbant DM with a glint in the eye*

I wanted a voucher and am feeling unloved.

or we could ask the people on the door: "OK, who is buggie?"

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS ALL A JOKE - SO NOBODY SUE US OR NUFFIN'

I could be tempted. Anybody else interested?

*This would explain why DM is feeling unwell* *Opens the french windows wide, breathing in the glorious fresh air from Goose Green* *There seems to be the sound of mayhem and rioting, armed police and helicopters. Just another Monday morning at Goose Green Primary, all is well in the world*

So, if I am reading this correctly DM - If you are wearing your wedding ring you will bear your personage to any Gentleman? I think we knew that, but I was just checking.

Chicken Licken indeed. In the absence of a back garden, will a few beans on my balcony keep me going when the British Empire's decline and fall reaches its eventual conclusion? or should I get a few tins in, just in case? A healthy free range chicken will be able to flap a few yards. Rescue chickens will probably have weakened wings; whilst the birds themselves will benefit hugely from free range conditions, I suspect that this weakness will not be repairable. So, if you have weakened and frail rescue chickens, beware of strong virile and healthy free range cockerel Sir Jaspers who are likely to nip over the fence and take advantage.

No vouchers in Altima Court yet ....

"DM, sadly Kalam has nicked the champers, no doubt to share with her mystery Gentleman Friend" "Have a splosh of neat Gin that will get you going" *Glugs half a pint of 100% Geneva into the glass held by DM's tremulous and liver-spotted hand*

Batchelors!

My Grande Skinny Latte cost me ?2.40p in the new money.

CWALD should now be "Chav with a Chicken" = CWAC?

I think that Jaflong is a welcome addition to the myriad of curry houses on the Lane. Its menu has the standards for those who like a traditional curry; but otherwise they have made a real attempt to dish up some alternatives. My main dish (Chicken Tawa) was healthily spiced, I had an aubergine side dish which was deliciously smokey. I also tried the Chicken Naga - this threatened to be mind blowing but was actually spicy and very flavoursome rather than being just too hot. The Lamb Tikka was excellent as was the pumpkin side dish. Tarka Sag Dahl was tasty but a little oily. The decor of the place is contemporary and it is bigger than I expected, but not cavernous. The service was very friendly. We got two free bottles of champagne to start and a free Baileys and a hug each at the end. The prices seemed about right and in-line with the competition. I can report that the Gents were clean, although they are in the basement and the stairs are steep, so be careful if attempting them when inebriated. It was a good turn out with eight of us - Sean Mac and Mrs Mac, Georgia and Mr Georgia, Floating Onion, TinaWeeGee, Hibbs and me. Kalamity Kel slipped in half way through for a swift glass of wine - sitting on an opposite table with a mystery man :))

Its kind of once a month - no specific day, usually down to haggling.

Its Allycat I feel sorry for ... and the Goldfish.

There has been much macho posturing about chilli consumption in the past "I can handle a strong one", "Give a me a powerful shiny red one every time" and so on. However, these reported feats of chili-consumption have never been observed; until now. Last night at the Curry Club meeting in Jaflong, Mr Floating Onion publically scoffed his way through a dish of the very spicy Chicken Naga and then through the raw naga chilli that garnished the dish. He did go a rather strange colour and spontainously lose 5 pints of perspiration, nontheless the deed was done with 7 witnesses. Hail to the Chief! ..... and the Chef, the food was very good.

No vouchers at Altima Court, ED Road - we have been snubbed!

Bimp!

Bump! See you tomorrow in the EDT at 7.30 or in the Jaflong at 8.30.

Indeed "Oooooch" Mockers and indeed "Aaaaaargh". Just got up again - feel better. but, never again ... See you tonight.

Stout fellow Bren - its in the diary!