Michael Palaeologus

*Staggers in looking grey* *Spots Shambles and nods, attemting to communicate empathy and sympathy - am currently unable to speak* *Collapses into fave chair, hoping that DM wil use her medical skills the make the pain go away* *A thought rises through the mists - "Where did Shambles disappear too last night?" one minute there and one minute gone and didnt say Goodbye - hmmm* *Where's my Playboy?! I need something to read on the loo*

It was a great night out. I feel rather tender in the head area. It was good to meet everybody again and I have a horrible feeling that the next night out will be in the not too distant future. I dont think there were photos, Andrew D Black wasnt there and I cant remember anybody else flashing, as t'wer I think I spoke to most people, mostly b*llo*cks admittedly, sorry for that and, who was that odd Canadian bloke, so magnificently dealt with by Mrs Mockney? He was both a pain and smelly. DM - if nothing else, pop into the Drum and see the bar's dog - he looks sooooooooo like Mr Batdog, I think we should adopt him. Perhaps we should have a march during the ED Spring fair and the dog could lead the EDF marchers, dressed in a Mr Batdog oufit. I now have to head to the Midlands for Mothers day. I would really like to go back to bed. Oh my head.....

*I will see you later young lady!* Hurrumph!!

*Sidles out of lavatory with Playboy behind back - relieved that DM has left so can avoid embarrasment* *Excellent - no yapping dog or fish fingers about either - although there seems to be scrap of trouser on the floor - strange* *Settles into fave chair for a snooze to prepare for The Drum* *Stuffs Playboy behind chair - for later*

I had my appraisal this morning - I am wonderful apparently.

A Pheasant perhaps, longing to be plucked

*B*gger - DM has picked up the copy of SE21 that I hid my copy of Playboy in* *Looks innocent*

Me there, probably drunk.

Not bored - kn*ckered. Been away for a week, christening, foreign parts and then Bristol. Looking forward to Friday.

Wanders in from foreign parts. Thinks - *Isnt this supposed to be a quiet room?" *Far too much laughter, why are there wet footprints on the floor?, why does it smell of fish-fingers? why are there piles of Starbucks cups in the corner? who let that dog in?* *Must have a word (quietly) with Bartlett - he must apply greater discipline* *Pulls out that nice bottle of Rioja that I hid behind my favourite chair and ease self into said chair*

.. or, go to the shops.

*Sun being nearly passed the yard arm - I will ask the estimable Steward for a tincture* *Passes Steward a note* *Bartlett - a G&T with ice and lime please - thank you*

Not any more. Why did you leave the quiet room early? I had an interesting book I was going to introduce you to.

Oh yes please ..

Sounds like Huguenot and I have a similar taste in books. Have you tried "An Instance of the Fingerpost" or "The Last Kabbalist of Lisbon"? - sorry terrible on writers names. Bethany Hughes' book on Helen of Troy is a great read too.

Marvellous Clare. Many thanks!

Wozzgoininoneh? *sudden wake up* *sorry, too loud, but some buggers nicked my cushions and the Joy of Sex and they all went for a boozy lunch without telling me* *DMs gone, so even less Joy of Sex*

I knew a Mod in the 80's

*switches phone off* Ahhhhhhhhhhh *eases from one buttock to the other* *turns to John Inmans obit in the Telegraph* Harrumphh! (quietly) *notes that DM has walked into the room - gazes in wonderment* whimper

I must now retreat to the bathroom for 10 minutes or so ...

Can you have fishfingeres? and Fishes and Chips shop? Which would be more accurate as they sell a number of both - hopefully.

Rich hot drinking chocolate, toasted crumpets oozing butter. Dignified staff that calmly cater to all whims (almost)... and nobody gets fat (fatter - in my case)

Shadow of the Wind - a Spanish bloke

I think a "no talking" room is required - much like Conan-Doyle's Diogenes Club, only the gentle rustling of newspaper to caress the ear. Lots of deep leather chairs and comfy smoking jackets.

If you are growing from seed, you could start planting into seed trays in the kitchen window. You could then plant out in about 6 weeks time. Slugs and snails - deserve no better.