At the local Indian restaurant... "...And would you like any bread with that order sir ?" "No, thanks" "Any Peshwari Nan, sir ?" "Is that bread ?" "Yes, sir" "No thanks" "Any roti, sir ?" "Is THAT bread ?" "Yes, sir" "No thanks" "Any poppadums, sir ?" "If I want anything, I'll be clear about that and will ask for it - thanks" "Would you like any chapatis, sir" "Is that bread ?" "Yes, sir" "No thanks. In fact, could you pass me back the menu please ?" "Yes, here, sir" *reading from the top, increasinGLY LOUDLY* "I also would NOT like any: onion bhajis, chicken pakora, prawn cocktail, 1/4 tandoori chicken starter, *EVEN LOUDER* sheek kebab, shami kebab, mulligatawny soup, *waiter looks around nervously* spring lamb chops, samosa, mango chutney, lime pickle, mint sauce, onion salad" "OK, OK, sir" "Do we understand each other ? I can continue, if absolutely necessary" "No sir, thank you sir"